Here at Preen, we’re fully aware that adult life doesn’t always go as smoothly (and look as beautiful) as curated Instagram feeds. We all face challenges amidst all the good things. Meet Mikka Wee, a former food editor-turned-working gal in Singapore, who’s about to share all the ups and downs that come with adulting and living. Welcome to Bless This Mess!
I get it now.
When married people are asked when the happiest day of their lives is, and they say “my wedding day,” I fully understand what they mean.
The days leading up to my wedding last Jan. 10 were some of the most stressful ones, but in the end, it was all worth it. I would poke fun at my husband and tell people that he’s the Groomzilla between the both of us, but in fact, I was a Bridezilla as well. We wanted to make the wedding ours as much as possible, and even if we hired a wedding coordinator (who bailed right after the ceremony), we went to great lengths to customize all the wedding collaterals because we wanted a super personalized touch—from the place cards, the photo wall, to the menus, even down to the giveaways. Andre and I got into a lot of arguments and there were a lot of sleepless nights, but to watch all our hard work culminate into one joyous celebration that was bursting with love made it all worth it.
In true Ironic fashion, it rained on our wedding day. Our supposed garden ceremony was held indoors instead, and to say that the gentleman who legalized our marriage was out of sorts is an understatement. There were a lot of hiccups here and there, but allow me to indulge myself a little bit and say that it all came together beautifully. I realized that in the wedding Andre and I put together, the focus wasn’t on romance and our love story. Our wedding was a celebration of togetherness and friendship.
Friendship, I believe, is the bedrock of good marriages. And the celebration of friendship was really the highlight of our wedding. Friends and family flew in from Manila and other parts of the world to be with us, and there was just so much joy. Not many of the guests know this, but when the program was going haywire, our entourage took the lead and saved the wedding. I found out that there were also a number of emergencies that were solved without my knowing because our friends did an amazing job of diffusing the situation before it got any worse.
Dinner was more relaxed. We started singing along to songs we loved, and my good friend Abraham sang beautifully and was joined by my Matron of Honor, Kaye. We also had a dessert table, which opened the gates of heaven as it laid out treats we loved such as chewy chocolate chip cookies, mini blueberry pies, pistachio panna cottas, dark chocolate and raspberry parfaits, and lemon meringue pies. Andre and I danced to U2’s “All I Want is You,” and my friends joined us on the dance floor when “Dancing in the Moonlight” started playing. Then, the DJs came onboard and it was just a flurry of crazy fun dancing, rapping, a lot of Destiny’s Child, silly selfies, a “Time After Time” number done Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion-style with Andre in the middle, a cookie break, nasty gin shots, more Moscato, a knighting, a fun sing-along of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” and a sweaty group good-bye hug as “Closing Time” wrapped up the event.
My Maid of Honor, Isa, gave a speech that evening. One of the lines of her speech goes, “Sometimes friendship, the really good kind, is even better than romance.” It is easy to envision a wedding day filled with snippets from the couple’s most romantic moments, but I am glad that beyond anything else, it was our friendship with each other and with our guests that really shone through.
I know that romance can be fleeting, but friendships last a lifetime. The nature of friendship rests on more forgiveness, more understanding, more familiarity. Romance is lovely in all its ways, too, and while it is integral in every intimate relationship, I believe that friendship at its core is more important. Sometimes, it is hard to explain how truly beautiful and sacred the gift of friendship is, despite being the easier relationship to build. It’s relatively faster to make friends than to find the love of your life, but what a precious thing it is to have really good and solid friendships.
I’ve always rolled my eyes when people would say that the happiest day of their lives was their wedding day. And to those who know me, I am the most transparent person in the world. I’ve grown up around a lot of broken marriages that discouraged me, made me cynical, and drove me to save myself, but to write this piece with a ring on my finger is proof of possibility—that life can indeed be different for everyone.
Jan. 10, 2018, my wedding day, was the happiest day of my life. It wasn’t only because we celebrated togetherness and friendship, but in my heart, I’ve learned it was also because we celebrated hope. Another thing I knew to be true because of my wedding was that the world can truly be a beautiful place to be in when you have the right people by your side.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.