My kitty is now an alt TikTok baddie

For last week’s episode of “Please Make My Cats Famous,” I dressed up my cat Astrophe and turned him into a fashion content creator like Mikyle Quizon. 

This time around, my spicy and handsome devil, Onion, is taking over.

Before we go on, here are some true facts about Onion:

  • His nickname is Sibuyas, pronounced Sibubuyas.
  • He is obsessed with his big brother.
  • He’s the most dramatic cat I’ve ever met.
  • He is our vet’s favorite cat, and I bring him to the clinic in a pink stroller.
  • He is a very special boy.

Since Onion is something of a diva, I tried to dress him up in a way that would channel his inner icon energy. I also decided that my second son should get on TikTok—and I got alt TikTok overlord @princess.rih to help me.

I found Rih’s account a few months ago, when they made TikToks that warmed my very sapphic heart. For some reason, I just had a feeling that they matched my cat’s demon god energy. I think I was right, and when we hopped onto the call, Onion started meowing his heart out, demanding to be heard by his aura twin.

One thing I was really nervous about during this challenge was recreating the look and feel of Rih’s TikToks. I wanted to get that cool lighting down—but I had no idea how. 

@notalcibiadeschanneling my inner @princess.rih #cats #catlover #catsoftiktok #blackcat #foryoupage #fypシ #cat♬ boom – siredaudio

At the last minute, I dug up this old transparent fanny pack—remember when see-through bags were a thing?—in the hopes that if I shone a light through it, it would have some kind of effect.

Thankfully, it did! Depending on where my phone was positioned, the light was giving off different effects: it gave me bi lighting and aurora borealis lighting. With my lights off and my windows closed, it kind of felt like I was back in a club. NGL, I was probably way too proud of what I did: I was declaring to everybody that I could replace 5-Minute Crafts as a life-hack creator.

I put on a red harness on Onion that had little demon wings on it. On its own, it looked cute. Kind of sweetheart-ish, even.

But with the lighting, he somewhat resembled a leather daddy bouncer of a cat-only club. It wasn’t exactly the vibe I was going for, but it was a vibe™️. 

I’ve always held the idea that my little void boy could slay millions with his looks, and I think this solidified it.

 

Art by Pammy Orlina

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Zofiya Acosta: Zofiya, editor, cat parent, and Very Online™️ person, has not had a good night’s sleep since 2016. They love movies and TV and could spend their whole life talking about how 2003’s “Crying Ladies” is the best movie anyone’s ever made.