Every week, Preen tackles motherhood sans the rose-tinted glasses. Our columnists L. Juliano, Marla Darwin, Monica Eleazar-Manzano, and Rossana Unson tell their personal experiences like it is—at times frustrating, oftentimes confusing, but always enlightening.
Call me all you want: hippie mom, tree-hugger, crunchy mama… No, I am not offended by those names because they represent most of what I firmly stand for. But, to be honest, I do get hurt when you mock the way I choose to raise my children.
You see, very early into my motherhood journey, I knew that I would veer away from the norm because it just didn’t feel right in my bones. While pregnant with my first child, I searched for an alternative path to becoming the parent that I thought I ought to be. I found some mentors who showed me things that resonated with a lifestyle that I wanted to uphold. They illuminated my mind to options I never considered before but all of a sudden made perfect sense to me that a precious baby was on its way earth side. I’m sure you will agree that becoming a parent changes you―knowing that I actually never wanted to get married nor liked kids before. (Yup, ask my high school friends!) Not only did this major rite of passage change me completely, it pretty much defined the hidden hands-on mommy in me afterwards.
So, what makes me different as a parent? Well, I will relentlessly question everything. I do this because I am innately curious about the world we live in and the consequences of my actions, especially when it involves my little ones. I always want to know the whys. I remember asking endless questions to my mom about everything as a child. Unless I was satisfied by her answer, I wouldn’t stop. Fast-forward to the time I was almost a mother, I bombarded my pediatrician and OB-GYNE all the questions regarding birth and vaccines. To explain in a nutshell, because I was a first-time parent, I went on with the conventional way of birthing in the hospital (which turned out to be quite traumatic) and then getting my son the initial vaccine doses (despite my serious concerns). Having said that, I went on and reversed my choices for my second child. With more experience, much more research and brazen confidence in my body, in nature and in God, I chose and manifested a successful drug-free home water birth… And did not vaccinate at all.
Why? Because I have my own valid reasons. Stemming from a very natural approach to everything, I have anchored my lifestyle in a holistic paradigm. I stopped supporting the pharmaceutical industry a looooong time ago when I started being more critical of the foods that I ate and products I used on my body and at home. Being a yoga teacher helped tremendously because it organically aligned with these choices. I primarily eat a more plant-based diet, I’m more mindful of where I spend energy and really believe that healing takes place from within, not the other way around.
I guess it just all fell into place for me as I’ve found an “unpopular” Waldorf school where they do things differently, too. Electronic media is discouraged, absolutely no homework, and reading or writing isn’t formally taught until the age of seven. Most of the peeps over there practice alternative medicine like homeopathy, too! Yes, I’ve chosen to go against the grain. A challenging one in these times, but definitely worth aspiring for the health and well-being of my children and their future.
I suppose ALL mothers operate on the notion that they are giving their children the very best. And since we are all unique in values and ideals, we will patronize different parenting styles. If there is one thing I have learned from the recent local election hullabaloo, it is that we are all different, yet yearn the same path to progress and enlightenment. We all just want love, peace, prosperity, and freedom for our families.
So, please, don’t judge my mothering. I promise my not to judge yours. It’s a free world after all. Let us honor each other and agree to disagree. Perhaps we will humbly learn a thing or two from living a life of respect. Truce!
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.
Art by Dorothy Guya