Here at Preen, we’re fully aware that adult life doesn’t always go as smoothly (and look as beautiful) as curated Instagram feeds. We all face challenges amidst all the good things. Meet Mikka Wee, a former food editor-turned-working gal in Singapore, who’s about to share all the ups and downs that come with adulting and living. Welcome to Bless This Mess!
Apart from a letter to a past or future self, I believe there comes a point in time for every writer in my genre to write a list of things he or she knew before he or she reached a certain age. While a lot might write about the age of 20, as it is quite a pivotal point in one’s life, I chose 24 because a) it’s the year before a so-called and much-dreaded “quarter life crisis,” which I have yet to figure out why it’s 25 if a human’s average lifespan is 80 years old and b) 24, I feel, was the age I enjoyed the most so far.
And while I make it my goal to make the turn of a new leaf (aka every birthday) better than the last, 24 was the year I felt most carefree. Most of this I attribute to being single and unattached! But 24 was also the year before I met the love of my life and considered making sizeable adjustments such as letting go of a career I loved and moving to a different country. In many ways, my 24th year was a beauty and a whirlwind at the same time. Part of me regrets nothing, yet the other part also wishes I could’ve done better. Looking back, here are some things I wish I did when I was 24.
1. Be more compassionate to my future self
To be honest with you, 24 was the year I procrastinated big time. I was aware that I was putting off a lot of things to indulge and enjoy myself excessively. When I turned 23, I had big goals for myself; but when that year ended on a bittersweet note thanks to a breakup from an abusive relationship, I felt that I needed to enter a season of healing, but like I said, it was to a very excessive point that I was at the tipping point of losing myself by letting my goals slip away from my periphery.
I read in one of the self-care newsletters that I subscribe to about the importance of showing compassion to your future self, even if this means being uncomfortable. An example is with the work we do. If we see a looming job or project getting daunting and intimidating, most of us choose to flee, procrastinate, and feel overwhelmed rather than simply begin and chop up the project into bite-size, manageable pieces.
This is one thing I wish I did when I was 24 rather than turn down opportunities to grow. I was so comfortable in my bubble that I grew complacent. Now, whenever I am feeling quite intimated about a project, all I think of is my future self, and how that version of me needn’t have to stress so much if I just did the task now.
2. Be better at managing my resources: Time and money
When I was 24, I was always away from home, soaking up the sun in La Union or getting lost in a foreign land. And while these all sound like lovely situations to be in, I wasn’t spending as much time with my family (part of myself was actually escaping home). But if only I knew I was going to be cut off from my mom, my pet Rocket, and my family two years later, I would’ve cherished and spent more time with them. It’s so easy to be comfortable and complacent in the company of our families that we don’t know when this privilege will be taken away from us. I know my lesson now—and it’s quite ironic how the trips I look forward to the most these days are the trips back home.
Another thing I wished I managed better was my money. To say I was careless is quite the understatement. I wish I did better by investing more and saving more. To be financially free is one of the best feelings ever, and I could’ve experienced it at an earlier age if I was more careful and thought twice before impulsively booking tickets.
3. Disconnected more.
…and read more books. Social media has always been an integral part of my work and life; however, I know I can get really lost in the black hole of my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feeds when I could’ve done something more meaningful with my time. I know there are so many apps out there that allow you to track how many minutes and hours you spend on social media, and I would end up so embarrassed to see my results! As I wrote in my previous article, social media indeed has its merits, but there was a point during this age when I used it to compare other people’s highest highs to my lowest lows, and it just caused a lot of anxiety and insecurity. But at least, I think I know better now and use social media in a more positive and meaningful way such as connecting with old friends and starting meaningful conversations with like-minded people around the world.
Now don’t get me wrong. These aren’t things I regret, but rather, self-reminders on how to live life better. I believe we are always works in progress, no matter what age! Twenty-four, I feel, was simply the age when I got to experience life with no holds barred, yet at the same time, learn the lessons I needed to learn. What’s great about life is that we are always in a constant learning process; forever students who have the privilege of living every day as a school day. For all you out there experiencing the quarter life crisis—it’s normal, and it happens. I still experience an existential crisis every now and then, but it’s great to know that we’re not alone in this. I still find myself wondering what am I to do with this beautiful and crazy life, and I am learning that taking life one day at a time and always doing your best is a step towards the right direction. And most importantly, don’t forget to have fun while you’re at it.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.
Art by Marian Hukom
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