For the longest time, victims of rape or sexual misconducts have been shamed and pressured to keep silent about their traumatic ordeal. But no more. Ever since the #MeToo movement exploded, we are slowly erasing the stigma and ending culture of silence. Now, victims know they’re not alone—and they’re putting the shame to where it should really belong: the perpetrators. The global movement has given victims a voice and they’re not afraid to use it.
In the Philippines, I’ve seen this same effect, and I am so proud that our women our becoming empowered too. We’ve had high-profile cases of women going after their superiors, or partners. In social media, too, victims are speaking up.
Just like this one woman who called out her molester on Twitter. She said she and her girl friends slept over at a friend’s condo, and one of their guy friends, whom she was not particularly close with, stayed with them. She woke up and realized he was hugging her. While she was okay with that, the red flag was when she felt him grope her and feel her up. She froze at first but then thankfully got the courage to stop him and call him out.
But what’s even more infuriating about this is that the guy still somehow managed to play the victim card. The girl, Elise, shared some screenshots of their conversation. There we can see how the guy said he felt bad and just wants to forget about it and hoped it wouldn’t spread. Um, excuse me?
Talk about male privilege. I mean, it’s great he is at least shameful, because it is a shameful thing he did. But to say he wants to move on like he was the victim? Oh please. He’s probably more sorry he got caught than anything else. And him acknowledging what he did was bad does not automatically get him off the hook. It’s people like him who feel they can do whatever they want, regardless of how it will affect other people, and act like nothing happened, are the reason why rape culture continued for the longest time. So, no. He doesn’t get a say on how his victim should deal with the trauma he inflicted. His victim will always have to live with that experience, so what right does he have to demand that he move on from it? People on Twitter agree too.
It’s a good thing Elise recognized this too, because she chose to disclose everything in spite of him saying she shouldn’t. Especially if it’s true this is not the first time he did it. Not “spreading” it would have meant he could victimize other women in the future. She wrote, “I wasn’t intending on dropping any names. But I found out that he had done this to a number of girls before me; that his friends KNOW, and NO ONE called him out on it. Who in their right mind looks at sleeping women and thinks ‘Great, this is the perfect time to molest them’??”
Listen up, men. There’s a lesson here: Learn to be accountable. You can’t just expect to get away with your sh*t every time. Not any more.
No one said it better than Elise herself: “If you’re willing to act this way when nobody is looking, you better be ready to face the consequences when everybody is. To put simply— if you don’t want to wear a sign that says MOLESTER the rest of your life, don’t molest people.”
Art by Marian Hukom
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