At 26, Naia Black has walked the BYS Fashion Week, hosted drag shows over rainbow croissants and sausages at Butterboy, and emerged as a bonafide reality TV star with her appearance in “Drag Den.” On the show, Naia is on the younger side of its eight contestants, joining contemporaries Pura Luka Vega, O-A, Barbie-Q, Lady Gagita, Aries Night, Shewarma, and Maria Cristina in creating looks for the Amazon Prime Original’s Main Drag Showdowns and consequent Dragdagulan Battles. In the second episode, Naia finds herself at the bottom of the leaderboard—but this is no hindrance to her. “I’m the bottom,” she exclaims proudly on her Instagram Story, while footage of “Drag Den’s” latest episode glistens on the television behind her.
Naia, who is often touted as “Brian Black’s final form,” wasn’t always here. Before her, there was Tanya Sativa; and, if you could believe it, Brian only started doing makeup in 2018—a mere four years ago, and a mere two years before the pandemic. But for as long as he could remember, Brian has always had a natural curiosity for and propensity towards the female form. He would always be drawing, even at a very young age—ask his parents and they’d tell you, he said—images of females. “It started when I was really, really, really young. I mean, literally in grade school pa lang I was already drawing girls. I could only draw girls. I found guys boring. I found male bodies boring,” Naia says, pausing.
“Well, now I find them exciting,” she laughs. “[But] I just had this natural gravitation towards [it.] And I think that proved to be very useful now that I’m doing drag. I [don’t think it’s] useful because I’m doing drag; [it’s] what led me to doing this artform.” Growing up in Las Piñas, Brian attended a small science-oriented school before entering the University of the Philippines Diliman, where he took up Broadcast Communication. One day, he stumbled upon an episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” and everything followed from there.
Naia takes this belief system with her wherever she goes—as she advocates for equality, fairness, and justice (looking damn incredible and hot while at it, too), she always makes sure that newbies venturing into the world of drag feel comfortable within the community. “Apart from the cynicism, there is also the hope that we could better the system,” Naia says, referring to systems within and outside of drag.
“I think in my drag I try to do that as well. I try to further an environment that is more friendly towards newcomers. It’s me. It just makes sense—as a children’s rights advocate, I’m also kind to the people starting drag. You know, the baby queens kuno, because I was there and I know what it feels like so I’m very empathetic.”
But part of Brian and Naia’s political nature is the very fact that, plainly and simply, they are queer. And like many queer adults, Brian didn’t know what being queer meant until they found themselves in an environment where they can explore their own queerness. For Brian, it was college. UP had provided him a space to find himself. “I didn’t know what being queer meant to me until I was in college, because I had a lot of repressed feelings in grade school and high school, what with surrounding myself in a Catholic school,” he says.
“I don’t think I was able to explore my true self. And now I’m exploring what I like and what I want to do with my life. I think being queer means you’re allowing yourself to be yourself. Really, it’s that simple. It’s that freedom that allows you to not give a shit about what other people will think. Obviously that’s what we want for the whole queer community. And it’s tangible for me now.”
“Being queer is allowing yourself to be yourself and express yourself in however way you want! That is why as Naia, I wear the shortest dresses. Gusto ko nakikita panty ko. I’m allowed to do such things now. If I were a kid I would love these. Being queer is just releasing that inner child. Being queer, to me, is freedom of expression, allowing that inner child to shine and take the lead and finally let her be heard.”
“[In ‘Drag Den’], you’ll see a journey. ‘Drag Den’ as a competition is still part of my formative years as a drag queen,” Naia says. “I came into the competition not fully knowing myself and I left it having a deeper sense of what makes Naia tick.”
Whatever happens on the show—and a pioneering one at that—we know that this is just the beginning for Naia. “I hope I’m an inspiration for other young artists not to get in their heads masyado but to inspire them to keep creating, to keep doing what you want to do. Put yourself out there. Because before I was so anxious about doing that. When I joined ‘Drag Den,’ I wasn’t even two years doing drag.”
Naia would say that her journey in drag may not look similar to other artists.’ “I made my own path. I did my own thing. I was always open to all the opportunities that came my way. Kahit mababa ’yung TF, go lang nang go. I tried to put myself out there because that’s what my therapist told me to do,” Brian laughs—guffaws, even.
“I’m just very grateful and happy. There’s really no secret formula to it. I think I was just putting in the work and having a kind disposition and treating your peers and colleagues with kindness. That’s how I made it to where I am now.”
Photos by Neal Alday
Story by Renee Nuevo
Styling by Edlene Cabral
Makeup by Naia Black
Creative direction by Nimu Muallam and Neal Alday
Produced by Zofiya Acosta
Layout and design by Ella Lambio
Assisted by Amrie Cruz and Levenspeil Sangalang
To me, there is only one video that truly ushers in the holiday season, one video that perfectly captures the essence of Christmas and brings me joy. It has everything—intrigue, classic holiday iconography, and a very annoyed legendary powerhouse singer continuing to power through a catastrophic mess like the seasoned professional she is.
I am of course talking about the video of Patti Labelle’s disastrous 1996 Christmas performance at the US national tree lighting ceremony.
Let me set the scene.
It is, as I said, 1996 and the US White House is holding their annual Pageant of Peace ceremony, a tradition they’ve done since the ‘70s. During the function, the current president lights up the chosen national Christmas tree, a living tree that’s planted in the White House, and shares a message of peace. That year, it was President Bill Clinton pre-Monica Lewinsky. The C-Span archive of this event reads, “President Clinton pressed the button to light the national Christmas tree, dedicating it to peace, love, and the young people of the world.” He’d know about the latter.
The ceremony tends to be packed with live performances with the likes of Christmas queen Mariah Carey, Eartha Kitt, and LL Cool J (?) all gracing the stage in the past. This year, it’s Patti Labelle, a children’s choir, and a marching band.
The first sign that something is amiss happens during Patti’s introduction. The host, who also happened to be the president of the Christmas Pageant of Peace, announces that Patti is the next performer and says her full name. Normally, that’s the cue for the performer to come on stage, which Patti does. However, the host continues on to talk about her and her achievements, leaving Patti to awkwardly go back out. In any other performance, that’s a slight, awkward hiccup you might chuckle at. Here, it’s an ominous portent for what’s to come.
The introduction ends, and Patti finally makes her way to center stage. Only, before she could actually reach it and say a short opening message or even give the title of the song she’s about to sing (“This Christmas”), the band starts blaring the music. Her lips visibly tighten, though she still flashes a smile. (Again, a pro.) You can see her looking around the stage as she sings. If you’re watching through the original C-Span archival footage, you’d find out why a few moments later, when she ends up providing her own harmony (“this Christmas”) and asks, “Where are my background singers?”
That’s followed by her directly addressing the cue card operators in front of her, who are bungling it. “And it’s the wrong words on the cue cards, I don’t know the song.”
“I’m going to adlib all I can because I don’t have the right words and I have no background singers,” she sings out, still completely in tune.
The C-Span footage doesn’t show the cue card operators, but a recently unearthed video remastered by the William J. Clinton Presidential Library does. There, you see three women desperately fumbling with the cards. Three. Three people are handling this and they are screwing up.
Back to the background singers. They finally arrive at some point, to which she says “thank you.” They sing, and she rolls her eyes and gives them a bow.
Then comes another iconic line. She frantically tells the cue card operators to bring back a card they had just discarded. “Let me see that card again! Girl, let me see that card again!” She says it so fast that “card again” sounds like “cardigan,” and “Girl, let me see that cardigan” becomes a famous mondegreen.
The cue card, it turns out, is to introduce the band’s captain who is about to play a saxophone solo. He does—but Patti drowns him out by singing over him, her one act of sweet vengeance.
She ends the performance with a band, belting out her heart. It reminds me a lot of something Regine Velasquez once said, where she birits even more when the band is playing badly or playing the wrong note to mask the mistake. Only in this case, Patti’s singing somehow highlights it more.
Rolls her eyes, plasters the biggest and fakest smile imaginable, and sings over a man’s sax solo: That’s my diva right there. It’s a case study on an incommensurate pro experiencing the worst performance of her life, with everything that could go wrong going wrong through no fault of her own, and somehow still sounding great. You cannot deny those vocals. Say what you will about what just happened, you cannot say that Patti sang badly.
We all have our own personal traditions. For some, it’s lighting up the Christmas tree. For others, it’s playing the classic holiday tunes by a union buster. For me, it’s Patti. This video has gotten me through seasonal depression, through heartbreak, through grief. Thanks, Patti. Now let me see that card again!
Art by Ella Lambio
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
Currently Googling: How do I make a Tumblr in the year of our lord 2022?
We all have our reasons for going back. For many, it’s the great Twitter migration care of business savant (if savant meant using former emerald mine-owning daddy’s money to jumpstart a career of jumping on businesses on the rise and claiming you’re the visionary founder) Elon Musk. (If you made a Mastodon—Hi! Do you miss the toots, too?)
For some, it’s the enduring and ever-alluring appeal of nostalgia, of escaping back to when you were a teenager earnestly reblogging posts about three inexplicably linked shows. For the younger kids who are coming to it for the first time, it’s an oasis from the hyper-warped speed, hyper-connected, and hyper-personalized algorithmic space of TikTok.
Whichever it is, you’re here now, pulling up your dashboard and hopefully trying not to annoy the Tumblr vets who never left the site. And if you’re scratching your head wondering what the big deal is, we talked to a few of them.
A quiet space
Tumblr, lovingly referred to as the “hell site” by its users, can mean a lot of things to them. For culture and entertainment writer Renee Nuevo, the reason why she’s still on the site is because “it feels like a slumber party just between me and my mutuals.”
“I’m still on Tumblr because it’s a quiet space; I’ve always likened it to a porch where I can just watch cars or clouds pass by. I only follow people I like, who only follow people they like,” she says.
Something she really likes about the site is the control it gives to the user. “That’s another thing I’ve always liked about Tumblr, and why I refuse to leave any time soon (I will be on Tumblr until they pull the plug and the next time I refresh it says “Error 404”)—is that they give you control over what you want to see. Hate it that posts aren’t chronological? Turn it off! Don’t want to see spoilers for a show you’re not caught up with yet? Blacklist! They allowed muting and blacklisting way before any other site did it—first, through third-party extensions like Tumblr Savior and xKit, but eventually, they added a native feature to filter tags if there’s something you don’t want to see, whether temporarily or forever.”
It’s true: Tumblr is unique in how much it allows its pocket of internet citizens to tailor make the experience for themselves. Instead of a predatory ouroboros-like algorithm causing a dopamine-driven feedback loop that practically encourages the bad behavior we now associate with social media, all for the sake of engagement, the site’s algorithm is mostly based on reblogs you and your mutuals have made and doesn’t boost posts the way other social media sites do (unless you pay for it, which users mostly treat as a joke)—and you can opt out of it.
That’s also probably why online discourse for the chronically online mostly exists on sites like Twitter and TikTok now. You don’t ratio people or get ratio’d on Tumblr. A reblog does not have the same effect that a particularly vicious quote retweet has; while both can have the effect of siccing your followers onto people you disagree with, only one site rewards the dunker for it, and one algorithm will extend an outrage cycle.
“The ugliest things on Twitter are frequently amplified,” Claire McNear wrote about quote retweets in 2018 for The Ringer. It rings ever truer as time goes on, particularly after we see Twitter Main Characters and bardagulan hits cycling through day after day.
While Tumblr is still remembered as patient zero of Discourse Brain, Renee points out, that culture is no longer a part of the site, and hasn’t been in a while. “Sure, [that was a] big thing in 2013, but [the people pushing that] all moved to Twitter since then.”
Instead of the quote retweet (and whatever TikTok’s version of that is), Tumblr has the tagging system, a dumb, silly, and wonderful way to both organize posts and provide additional insights. “It lets you whisper and add your own dumb commentary to posts; if it’s funny enough, someone will add it to the reblog thread—‘why would you leave this in the tags, OP,’ someone will sometimes say when a tag is witty, insane, or makes a good enough point in the context of the original post,” says Renee.
This is only one way Tumblr feels like an escape from the late stage capitalism sinkholes that other social media apps feel like. “While Tumblr has been trying different was to make money off users and posts, it’s one of the few social media platforms where monetizing isn’t even an option which feels like a purer online experience,” says Raya, a student and aspiring chef.
Fandom
Raya calls the site a “community garden where people tend to their little interests.” She adds, “I’ve always maintained that Tumblr is the best place for fandom.”
I see what she means. On Tumblr, you can cater to every single one of your niches. For years, I’ve been following the stories of simblr story creators who only use Sims 4 Maxis match custom content. A blog I made in 2019 was solely dedicated to the canceled-after-one-season-show “Twelve Forever” and later “She-Ra.” You can argue that you can do the same on other platforms. Of course, there are niches there, too. I love dice maker Twitter. And there’s a particular joy when you’ve seen a sparkly, pastel-toned video of a train set to music in a foreign language with no hashtags and realized you’ve landed on traintok.
But I think the difference is that those platforms, TikTok especially, invite you to turn that niche into a Brand™️. Not brand in the sense that these are your interests and this is the kind of person you are, but brand in the sense that “this is something that I can make myself be known for, and hopefully in a way that is monetizable.” It’s the difference between being a classic lit nerd and being a dark academia fan, on liking something and liking the aesthetic of liking something. And while there’s nothing wrong per se with that, it puts an unnecessary pressure on users.
Creative lead at Vinta Technologies and former Scoutmag.ph editor Rogin Losa shares a similar sentiment. She likes that on Tumblr, there’s a “lack of pressure to fit a certain standard. As someone who became a social media manager, the pressure to subscribe to an aesthetic or to hop on trends is draining.”
I see people on TikTok tripping over themselves to create a name and be a big part of the next big microtrend to cycle through for the next two weeks. Similarly, I see people on Twitter breaking their backs justifying why they like something. While I know that to them it might just be for fun, I want them to know the sweet relief of realizing that you can just like something.
As Rogin puts it: “In this social media sphere where curation is the norm, Tumblr is that one site that really said: ‘F*ck it, do what you want.’”
That’s probably also why people don’t blow up on Tumblr, at least not anymore. Being a Big Name Fan (and aspiring to be one) isn’t really part of the culture now.
“That’s the thing, there are no concrete people to follow on Tumblr because it doesn’t exactly have any influencers. For a while back in 2014, it did,” says Rogin. And rather than being a detriment, it actually leads to a nicer online experience. “The Internet is so much more fun when it isn’t mainly about clout,” says Raya.
Instead of clout, what’s more important is the connections you make. All three of them mentioned being on the site because of fandom, with Renee and Rogin sharing that they first joined in 2009 and Raya in 2011, and a fandom is built by a community.
“My mutuals are some of my most treasured internet strangers, friends, and acquaintances, and the sentiment is always often the same,” shares Renee. “I’ve made so many chill, lovely friendships just because we were all blogging about Kelli O’Hara or ‘The Bridges of Madison County the Musical’ or ‘Bates Motel’ at the same time.”
These can be long-lasting relationships, she continues. “One of my fave mutuals became my mutual in 2012 when I got into ‘Sports Night’, and since then we’ve been quiet supporters of each other whether on the hellsite, Instagram, or Twitter. I’ve even bought a trinket dish or two from their ceramics business named after middle-aged actresses!”
Not a utopia
All three note though that Tumblr isn’t a perfect site. “It’s not to say that Tumblr doesn’t have any flaws. It has…a lot of flaws and is buggy to the max,” Rogin stresses. “I do understand I’m making Tumblr seem like some internet utopia when I know it’s far from that and no such thing exists,” adds Raya. There are definitely some legitimate criticisms you can levy against the site, like the banning of pornographic material supposedly to crack down on pornbots (that have never left) which started the mass exodus in the first place. Still, does it have to be perfect to have people love it? While it’s not utopia, “it feels like that compared to other social media I have,” says Raya.
Renee stresses that one thing the site does well is that it’s not exactly social media. “It’s the one social media platform that has really managed to keep the vibe of Ye Olde Internet alive—again, influencers just won’t survive on this platform, nor will any advertisers, for that matter—and it’s still a microblogging site! No other website lets you do that anymore. For all intents and purposes, Tumblr isn’t social media—it’s a blog.”
And maybe the beauty of Tumblr is that it’s a place where you can be social without it being social media. We’ve seen firsthand what social media can do: From Cambridge Analytica using the Philippines as an elections manipulation guinea pig to fine tune the methods they would later use to win Donald Trump the 2016 US presidency; Twitter a place where trolls can gather to form a hate mob against users and where transphobes grow hate campaigns against random trans people just for existing; to TikTok being a new place for disinformation to breed, radicalizing a new generation.
Compared to that, a place where you can, for all intents and purposes, be as cringe and free as that one cow sounds like a smooth balm to the brain.
Of course, I’m not here to revise history and say that these things were not, at some point, true to the site as well. I was around when fans of the Columbine High School massacre were arrested for planning a mass shooting. That maybe isn’t even the worst Tumblr-related sentence I’ve ever written! But I think it’s fair to recognize a platform for what it is now without the excess baggage of the past when its users have radically reshaped the culture.
Says Renee: “I don’t think Tumblr was ever the cool place to be; I think us users would like to think so, because again, it does often feel like a fun lil slumber party most of the time, but we know that we are here because we are #cringe and proud—though I’ve recently been feeling a lot more earnest about it because yeah, this is my lil blog! My lil blog of feelings and things that I love! It’s like a lil scrapbook of things that make me, me!”
Top Tumblr Tips
So, what are these Tumblr vets’ tips for people who are coming back or just starting out?
Rogin: I have three: Learn basic HTML if you want to customize your theme and feel what it was like to have a Friendster account back in the mid-00s; don’t feel the need to be a one fandom/niche blog because it doesn’t matter; and lastly, post whatever the fuck you want. Who cares? That’s your space, my guy.
Raya: Follow Sufjan Stevens and Frank Ocean on their Tumblrs, of course. [Follow] accounts like horroredits that posts gifsets of horror movies, if that’s your thing? I don’t know! It’s cool to start following stuff like that and following people with posts or URLs related to your interests and curating it after that.
I spent a long time on Tumblr not being very social because it was enough for me to just enjoy content, but eventually you just end up finding your circle! One of the first friends I made on there saw my blog being suggested to them because I was posting about “On The Wings of Love” (starring James Reid and Nadine Lustre) and they were watching “OTWOL”, too. We’d had a lot of similar interests, and now we’re both deep into our BTS phase. Sometimes reaching out like that works and sometimes it just kinda comes to you.
Renee: People, including me, usually block accounts that have no pics or bio, so even if they’re a real person and are just lurking, they still might get blocked (all that trauma from the porn and spam bots)—so you know, reblog some posts, tag some stuff, change your pic and add a title and a bio!
[Also,] Tumblr mobile is very different from Tumblr on the desktop! Tumblr definitely shines on desktop versus on mobile—because it was, after all, a website first and foremost before it ever became an app.
Art by Ella Lambio
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
It’s that time of the year again when movie lovers are split between comfort watching Christmas rom-coms or looking for alternative Christmas movies to spice up their watchlist.
TBH, I was looking forward to doing the former but 2022 seems to be a dried-up well for new queer holiday rom-coms. Here’s an alternative list of queer Christmas movies to check out instead.
“Tangerine” (2015)
Similar to Sean Baker’s “Red Rocket” and “The Florida Project,” the director’s earlier iPhone 5s-shot project “Tangerine” is a dramedy on the underrepresented. Inspired by a true story, it’s about trans sex worker Sin-Dee Rella (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez) who finds out that her pimp boyfriend has been cheating on her during her 28-day jail sentence. She and her best friend/fellow trans sex worker Alexandra (Mya Taylor) set out to teach him and his new lover a lesson on Christmas Eve.
It’s funny and gritty, and gives us a truthful glimpse into the lives of LA’s African-American and Latino transgender community.
“The B*tch Who Stole Christmas” (2021)
You’d think that a “Drag Race” Christmas movie would’ve made more buzz. While Hallmark movie parody “The B*tch Who Stole Christmas” only garnered lukewarm reviews, fans might want to see RuPaul joined by more than 20 “Drag Race” alums including Ginger Minj, Jan, Brooke Lynn Hytes, and Peppermint.
We follow an undercover big-city fashion journalist named Olivia (Krysta Rodriguez) who convinces the local gals to join the Winter Ball competition so they can save their beloved inn from being taken by the bank. In truth, Olivia’s on a mission to steal the town’s Winter Ball pageant crown at the behest of her editor (RuPaul). Also in their way is the shady housewife played by scene stealer Jaymes Mansfield.
“Anna and the Apocalypse” (2017)
A zombie Christmas high school musical isn’t something we get often. This makes the “Shaun of the Dead”-esque “Anna and the Apocalypse” an extra fun ride even if it doesn’t have a queer protagonist.
It revolves around a group of high schoolers who sing and fight their way back to their loved ones as their town gets ravaged by a zombie apocalypse. But behind all that action is a social commentary on teenage issues. Part of the main cast is disillusioned queer activist Steph (Sarah Swire) who thinks her family doesn’t care about her. We wanted to see her interact with her offscreen girlfriend but we’ll have to take it.
“Tokyo Godfathers” (2003)
Satoshi Kon’s (“Paprika,” “Perfect Blue”) “Tokyo Godfathers” is an anime classic. While not as fantastical and psychologically-driven as his more famous works, the tragicomedy “Tokyo Godfathers” is still beautifully animated and possibly more moving.
A homeless makeshift family composed of middle-aged alcoholic Gin, teenage runaway Miyuki, and former drag queen Hana find an abandoned baby while rummaging in the trash for food on Christmas Eve. With little to no clue on the baby’s identity, they roam the streets of Tokyo to look for help in finding her parents. Along the way, they are forced to confront their own pasts.
“Female Trouble” (1974)
John Waters’ cult classic “Female Trouble” stars drag queen Divine like his better known flick “Pink Flamingos” but it’s even more brazen with Divine playing a character that is “crime personified.” “‘Pink Flamingos’ was a hard act to follow,” Waters wrote in his book “Shock Value.” “All my humor is based on nervous reactions to anxiety-provoking situations, so I wanted the ideals rather than the action of ‘Female Trouble’ to be horrifying.”
Divine plays a spoiled delinquent schoolgirl who runs away from home on Christmas Day, gets pregnant while hitchhiking, and becomes entangled in a life of crime and violence. Though too perverse for today’s standards, it provides a great snapshot into early queer filmmaking’s push for the revaluation of values and norms.
“1985” (2018)
A lot of us tend to steer clear of sad queer Christmas movies. But if you’re looking for a cathartic crying sesh, give “1985” a go. It follows the story of closeted advertising executive Adrian (Cory Michael Smith of “Gotham”) who returns to his estranged family’s Texas hometown for the holidays during the first wave of the AIDS crisis.
Shot on black-and-white super 16mm film and with a storyline about navigating an AIDS diagnosis, it may remind you of Jun Lana’s “Kalel, 15.” Though there isn’t much that sets its narrative apart from films that tackle AIDS, there are visually interesting moments that make it worth it. And Jamie Chung, who plays Adrian’s childhood friend, is always nice to see.
Art by Ella Lambio
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
Remember when we congratulated Nica del Rosario and Justine Peña when they got married back in August? Last weekend, del Rosario finally got to sing her latest track on marriage equality titled “Balang Araw” during her 12th year celebration concert of the same name.
On the “Balang Araw” stage on Dec. 3, del Rosario got to sing with the likes of Ogie Alcasid, Johnoy Danao, her wife Peña, and the couple’s furbaby Willow. Among her hits that she performed were Sarah Geronimo’s “Tala” and former Vice President’s Leni Robredo presidential campaign anthem “Rosas.”
View this post on Instagram
But let’s get back to the track making the LGBTQIA+ community hopeful and emotional. Released on Nov. 18, “Balang Araw” contains del Rosario’s feelings about getting legally married in another country and not having their union recognized at home.
The singer-songwriter shared one incident that pushed her to write the song. “The night before our flight back home to Manila after getting married in Sydney, we had to fill out an online tracing form called One Health Pass. As I was going through mine, I stopped at one question: marital status,” said del Rosario. “It stared right back at me, almost mockingly, like it knew that despite our magical, joyful wedding just a couple of days before, I had to begrudgingly mark myself as ‘single.’”
View this post on Instagram
“‘Balang Araw’ is for every person in our community who continues to hope and fight for what we stand for: to be treated as human beings, to be given the same rights as everyone else. Makukuha rin natin ang ating ‘balang araw,’ pero sa ngayon, mahalin muna natin ang isa’t isa,” del Rosario added.
We’re lucky to have artists like del Rosario and Peña openly comforting and fighting with others who are also pushing for marriage equality. We all deserve it.
Photo from Nica del Rosario’s Instagram
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
Looking for a fun way to switch up your workout routine or fit something into your routine you can do at your own pace without requiring any gear? Try grooving to the latest P-pop tracks.
If you haven’t gotten into dance challenges yet, dance workouts could be your gateway to learning the hottest steps and staying active. From lively choreography to high-octane hip-hop routines, here are some of our fave P-pop dances that double as a workout You (or at least Twitter user @1TIER_ did) asked for and now we deliver.
BINI’s “I Feel Good”
@bini_ph #BINI : Ma-feel good with BINI’s #BINI_IFeelGood DC! 🙃👍 #tiktokph #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #foryourpage #viral #tiktokviral #PPop #PPopRise #PPopRiseBINI #OPMRise #music #BINIph ♬ I Feel Good – BINI
BINI’s sophomore album “Feel Good” is one of our fave releases of the year. If you enjoyed the playfulness of “Pit A Pat” from April, you’ll love the bubbly retro rhythm of “I Feel Good.” The steps for the chorus are cute and easy enough for beginners. But if you also want to nail the choreo for the rap break, there are fancams that can serve as your guide.
Increased difficulty option: “Strings” dance challenge
SB19’s “WYAT”
@officialsb19 WYAT? In the city that never sleeps. 🗽 First leg of U.S. tour, all done! See you in the next ones. 😉 #SB19 #WYAT #WYATTour #WhereYouAtSB19 @PABLO @jahdedios @Vester Ajero @FELIP @josh_cullen_s ♬ WYAT (Where You At) – SB19
Another entry on our list is SB19’s disco-inspired “WYAT” choreographed by none other than Stell. The performance video includes some complicated routines that are more fun to try with friends but the challenge itself will make you feel like a dancing queen if you go solo.
Increased difficulty option: “Bazinga” dance break version
Alamat’s “ABKD”
@alamat.official ABKD Awitin mo. Bilang Isa, Dalawa, Tatlo 🤎✨ #ABKDDanceChallenge #ppoprise #fyp ♬ original sound – ALAMAT
Light-hearted and empowering, Alamat’s “ABKD” is great pick-me-up. It’s also a kid-friendly track that’s especially apt if you’re looking to invite your kids or younger siblings to join in on the challenge. If you’re not a Magiliw yet, we bet the music video will have you stanning the group.
Increased difficulty option: The sexy and spooky “Aswang” dance challenge
BGYO’s “Tumitigil Ang Mundo”
@bgyo_ph #BGYO | Take on the #BGYO_TumitigilAngMundo DC now! #tiktokph #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #foryourpage #viral #tiktokviral #PPop #PPopRise #OPMRise #Music ♬ Tumitigil Ang Mundo – BGYO
BGYO’s “Tumitigil Ang Mundo” has house music influences that makes it perfect for dancing. We wouldn’t be surprised if this track makes it onto our Spotify Wrapped because it truly has an earworm-geared sound that we wouldn’t mind looping for a longer workout.
Increased difficulty option: “Magnet” dance challenge choreographed by thee Brian Puspos
LITZ’s “Natatataranta”
@litz.official Show off your “Natataranta” dance moves by joining our Tiktok Challenge. #LitzNatatarantaChallenge ♬ original sound – litz.official
If you want dynamic moves that’ll give you a sense of girl power, LITZ’s “Natataranta” cover may have what you’re looking for. It comes as no surprise since G-Force trained the group. Fans of James Reid’s original version are sure to appreciate this fierce update.
Increased difficulty option: The group’s “Kidlat” debut dance challenge
KAIA’s “Kaya”
@kaiaofficialph Sayang lang, natanggal sintas ko 🤣 – 🐻#KAYATiktokDanceChallenge #KAYAbyKAIA #KAIA_ANGELA ♬ KAYA – KAIA
As a sister group of SB19, KAIA has big expectations to meet. With “Kaya,” a track in the same vein as SB19’s catchy “Go Up,” the members prove that they can release their own hits. We’ll let this dance break do the talking.
Increased difficulty option: “Blah Blah” dance challenge with the dance break version
Art by Ella Lambio
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
Fifth Solomon knows a thing or two about reality TV. After all, before the actor-cum-writer and director took the reins of “Drag Race Philippines,” he was a “Big Brother” housemate, and later one of its segment directors.
“Nakaka-relate ako sa mga contestants. ’Yung emotional roller coaster, ’yung being competitive, ’yung kinakabahan ka, nervous ka, ’di mo alam ang mangyayari,” he says one Thursday afternoon in our office. “Mas relate ako kasi alam ko ano ang pinagdadaanan nila.”
I catch him mid-season—the Rusical episode had just come out the previous day—and there’s still a newness to the show. At some point, he accidentally trips up and almost reveals a spoiler about a then-future episode. While the latter half of the season would start to be taken up by the discourse circuit, from fatphobia discourse and the unfair double standards that fat people, queens or no, face, Rajo’s trash comment and how harsh criticism can impact queens, and even unfounded assault allegations, this was still a time of relative positivity. It’s all still very exciting.
We talk mostly about stories. The artistry in reality TV is all about crafting a narrative. Applying what he learned during his time on “Pinoy Big Brother,” he threaded the needle on the queen’s stories. “Kinilala ko talaga ’yung bawat contestant. Isa-isa sila,” he says. “’Yung pinakamaliit na storya ng buhay nila, hinanap ko talaga. Meron akong dictionary kung paano ako makakahugot ng emotions from them. For example, sa shoot, baka you can share your struggle dati sa weight mo kasi maganda siyang inspiration sa nag-struggle din sa weight.”
That was what always drew him to directing, the story. “Akin talaga, ’yung story, ’yung art, ’yung gusto mo may maramdaman ’yung audience kapag nagkwento ka, may maramdaman ’yung viewers sa eksenang ’to, [that’s what I like about storytelling]. Gusto [ko] hindi lang siya maganda visually pero emotionally nararamdaman talaga siya, may nadudulot siya, may nabibigay sa audience.”
Before he became famous, he was already writing and directing. In fact, in 2012, his student film “Manibela” was screened at the Metro Manila Film Festival and won a few awards, including the gender sensitivity award. “Nagdidirek talaga ako, nagsusulat talaga ako, as a student pa lang. Then after that, pag-graduate ko naging writer ako sa GMA. Sinusulat ko mga ads nila noon.”
He explains that while he liked acting, which was what he first did after making his name as a housemate, it just didn’t evoke the passion and fire that storytelling had on him. “Parang may kulang.”
So in 2016, he left the biz and went to Australia to take a master’s degree in film. “Boring,” he laughs, recounting that period. “Hindi ko siya tinapos. Bumalik na ako dito tapos nag-pitch na ako ng mga movies ko sa producers.” Thus started Fifth Solomon’s professional director era, though that didn’t mean he was completely done with acting. In 2019, he was in the brilliant “Manillennials,” also starring Mela Franco Habijan and Chai Fonacier. Still, directing is his focus now.
I ask him what differentiates this specific role from his other directing duties, particularly compared to being a segment director. “Pag creative director, in charge ko sa whole creative aspect ng show. The challenges, ’yung mga queens, story nila. Ikaw talaga ang parang brain ng show.”
On getting the offer and wanting to please fans
Solomon was offered the role via an Instagram DM. It was early 2020, around February or March, he says. He had already been vocal about being a fan of the show, so the producers messaged him if he was interested in directing. He immediately jumped at the chance to be a part of it.
“Mahal ko ’yung show,” he explains. “I can honestly say na I know the ins and outs of the show. Pag-nanonood ako, alam ko kung paano siya na-sho-shoot, paano ’yung techniques, mga ganon.”
He was overjoyed, but he knew the job came with a big set of responsibilities, the kind that puts a good amount of fear in your heart. While he was a huge fan, he was far from the only one. I can’t overstate how popular the show is, and how much people were clamoring for a Philippine franchise for years. So more than anything, he was afraid of how the fans were going to react. “Kinakabahan ako [ng] grabe,” he says. “Kaya talagang pinulido namin ’yung content, ’yung creative aspect ng show.”
Solomon had been contacted about the show in 2020, with plans to film that year, but we all know what happened: The world shut down. It was a full year later, on Aug. 17, when the casting call was finally announced, and it took several months after for shooting to start. “Na-shoot lang namin siya last year, 2021, ng December.”
From the get-go, they knew that, if anything, the show was going to turn on the drama. “Untucked” was a no-brainer. “Sa start palang, binigay na kami ng go signal to do ‘Untucked,’” he says. It’s a true testament to our dramaticness: “Drag Race Philippines” is the only franchise outside of the U.S. to get the backstage spin-off. As Jiggly said during the viewing party premiere: “We’re dramatic as f*ck.”
Solomon laughs. “Dramang-drama, no? I think hindi naman maalis sa ating Filipino kasi lumaki tayo sa teleserye. Dramatic talaga ’yung mga queens natin. Very real, hindi sila filtered.”
The fifth season is one of his favorites, so there’s a nice bit of synchronicity there. His favorite aspect was the deep-seated, built-in rivalry between Alyssa Edwards vs Coco Montrese —and what is “Drag Race Philippines” if not that times ten? There were multiple Alyssa Edwards vs Coco Montreses. It made for some great TV.
He talks me through crafting the show. He would hold brainstorming sessions with the writers and creatives to pitch new challenges for the show. Inspiration could come from anywhere, even the randomest of places. The origin of “Pop Off Ate” was actually a comment he saw on Instagram. Lightning flashed through his brain when he read it. “Ay ganda ’yang term. Sinabi ko sa mga producers na gawin nating song yung “pop off, ate” tapos girl group,” he said, adding that he had to explain what it meant to them. Imagining what could’ve taken its place makes me shudder—“Pop Off Ate” was such a slam dunk of an episode that the idea of a replacement is painful. Thanks, random Internet commenter!
Filipino pop culture was a well they often drew on, too. “’Yung Dragna, ’yung parang naging Darna sila, that’s my idea. Sabi ko maganda siyang opening ng show for a mini-challenge. Drag siya atsaka idol talaga ng mga bakla si Darna. Iconic superhero siya,” he says.
It took a lot of looking at the series fixtures and figuring out how to give it a Philippine flavor. “It’s ‘Drag Race,’ but may Pinoy culture talaga,” he says. “Nilalagay namin ng Pinoy touch.”
Coming out
Solomon hadn’t just been a “Big Brother” house member. He was the second ever “Big Brother” house member to come out as queer on the show, with BB Gandanghari being the first.
This was way back in 2014. “My Husband’s Lover” had just finished airing then. “The Rich Man’s Daughter” and “Destiny Rose” would come out a year later. On the surface, things were looking up. But despite those few crumbs, and I do mean crumbs, of media representation, openly gay celebrities were still few and far between. This remains true. His coming out in such a public way remains a big deal.
And it was actually what led him to watch “Drag Race.” After he came out, his friend suggested that he watch an episode. That one show recommendation ended up impacting him greatly.
“Natutunan ko sa ‘Drag Race’ season six, sina Bianca del Rio, na okay pala maging unapologetically you,” he says.
I ask him what about that show made him feel that way. “’Yung show kasi, pinapakita niya as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community na may place pala ako sa mundo na ’to. Nakakakita ka ng mga tao na makakarelate ka,” he answers. “Mas makakarelate tayong mga members ng LGBTQIA+ pag nakita mo ang sarili mo sa mainstream media.”
It’s the inherent representation and inclusivity that comes from making a show that’s so irreverently queer at its core, he believes. I can see it. It’s a show about drag queens competing to be crowned the drag superstar, come on. That alone lets it discuss and explore queerness and life as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community in a way that other shows couldn’t. That aspect has always been there, even from “Drag Race’s” first incarnation—Filipino-American Ongina winning a challenge to become the spokesperson for a makeup brand’s now-defunct line that uses its earnings to support people living with HIV/AIDS, and tearfully confessing on national TV that she was HIV-positive. It was honest, raw, joyful, and it’s a moment that Ru has been trying to recreate ever since.
Some critics have argued against the genre because it doesn’t show real life, and well, yeah. It’s television. It’s telling a story. And sure, a lot of the times the story can be grotesque, shock value schlock that is, as television and media critic Eric Deggans puts it, “a reflection of our best and worst urges in one toxic blend of arguments, ominous sound effects and music montages.”
Writing for the New York Times about “Love & Hiphop,” Dr. Racquel Gates gives another perspective: Reality TV can be subversive, “capable of depicting the complexities of women of color in nuanced ways.” The same can be said for “Drag Race,” and its capability for showing the complex and nuanced lives of queer folk.
“Drag Race Philippines” itself hits those beats too. Everyone has a story to tell. I recall what Solomon says about trying to get the stories out of the queens, and when it should happen. “Dapat dito lumabas na ’yung heart para ma-humanize natin ang mga queens natin, hindi lang sila characters sa show. Tao rin sila.”
Sometimes, it’s excavated too much—notably when Xilhouete broke down on “Untucked” when a photo of her grandmother was flashed on screen while she was still shaken after her critiques. But it can also work. When the show brings out the final five queens’ loved ones for a makeover, we see a whole new side to them.
One of the most impactful moments early on in the show came during the pilot, when Jiggly uses her air time to point out that “we only have small liberties” here in the Philippines. “We don’t even have the SOGIE Bill.”
It comes to mind when Solomon talks about the LGBTQIA+ community, and how it’s grown in the wake of drag becoming mainstream. “Ngayon, mas masarap maging bakla dahil mayroon ka talagang community. Mayroong mag-speak up for you, stand up for you lalo na ngayon kulang-kulang pa lang ang rights natin bilang LGBTQIA+ people. Kulang pa ang rights natin. Maganda ang community natin kasi very vocal when it comes to rights, to discrimination.”
Photos by Neal Alday
Story by Zofiya Acosta
Styling by Edlene Cabral
Makeup by Dorothy Mamalio
Creative direction by Neal Alday and Ella Lambio
Produced by Zofiya Acosta and Neal Alday
Assisted by Levenspiel Sangalang
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
After the long wait (to the relief of the show’s playful social media manager probably), “Drag Den” has finally revealed its cast with a trailer that also gives us a sneak peek into the show’s dramatic production design. Today, Nov. 17, drag fans can finally start getting to know the queens competing for the chance to be crowned the first Drag Supreme.
Premiering on Dec. 8 on Amazon Prime Video, “Drag Den” is produced by Project 8 Projects and CS Studios. With directors Rod Singh (“Mamu: And a Mother Too”) and Antoinette Jadaone (“Fan Girl”) at the helm, our expectations from the show are slightly different from the ones we had for “Drag Race Philippines.” It’s already evident that the show doesn’t want a cookie-cutter reality TV look in its commitment to the underground den aesthetic. But we’re even more interested in finding out how these filmmakers will uncover the queen’s personal stories and exhibit the nuances of Pinoy culture in the challenges.
Host Manila Luzon is given the title of Drag Lord. Joining her in the judges’ table are well-spoken beauty queen Nicole Cordoves and internet icon Sassa Gurl. Respectively, they hold the titles Drag Dealer and Drag Runner, which are likely nods to the Nectar’s Drag Cartel.
But more on our thoughts in the future. Let’s get to know the queens!
Naia
View this post on Instagram
Naia, who’s also known as artist Brian Black out of drag, once described her drag persona to Preen as “someone who just ended her Disney contract and came back from the States to unleash her true self.” She’s a smart queen who doesn’t mince her words. You may have seen her punky glam aesthetic (designer Salad Day is one of her collaborators) and amazing lip-syncing skills at Butterboy’s drag brunch and meriendrag shows she regularly hosts. She has also performed at Elephant, Bekenemen, and even the CCP Black Box Theater.
Check out our interview with her and her “Drag Den” audition tape.
Lady Gagita
View this post on Instagram
Who among drag fans hasn’t heard of Lady Gagita a.k.a. Katy Perya? As her names suggest, she is known for her Lady Gaga and Katy Perry impersonations and powerhouse performances. One testament to her reputation in the local drag scene is recently going on “Family Feud” with her drag daughters. Though Precious Paula Nicole wasn’t with them, she considers Lady Gagita as one of her drag moms.
In 2021, Village Pipol named her as its Drag Queen of the Year. Out of drag, he is a well-known vlogger, LGBTQIA+ advocate, and an occasional actress with credits for projects like the TV5 series “Suntok sa Buwan.” Check out her “Drag Den” audition tape.
Maria Cristina
View this post on Instagram
Maria Cristina a.k.a. MC Black is a proudly Pinay queen. She has donned several looks that incorporate classic Filipina silhouettes and styles. She is also the founder of Drag Academy PH and one of the hosts of Drag Playhouse’s “Love, Sex, and Drag” talk show. Out of drag, he is part of the Spaces MNL crew, a choreographer, and a stage director.
Check out her “Drag Den” audition tape.
Pura Luka Vega
View this post on Instagram
Pura Luka Vega is not afraid to get weird. While some queens prefer to go ultrafemme with regular shaving sessions, Luka’s beard, which they often dye to match their wigs, is part of their drag looks. It works especially well with their 18th century-inspired costumes and their infamous Jesus drag. We love campy queens and we hope the general public will appreciate their humor, too. They stage conceptual solo drag shows and is often doing funny skits on TikTok.
Check out their “Drag Den” audition tape.
O-A
View this post on Instagram
Apart from doing drag, O-A a.k.a Odasha Flop is a cosplayer and a gamer. It isn’t unusual for her drag to reference characters as she incorporates elements of cosplay into her style. You can get a sense of her meme fluency in her funny TikToks and we’re excited to see that play out in the show. You’ve probably seen her at Nectar Nightclub’s Poison Wednesdays during and after she won her season of Drag Cartel.
Check out her “Drag Den” audition tape.
Shewarma
View this post on Instagram
Shewarma may be a pandemic-born queen but you wouldn’t be able to guess from her fierce and often sultry quality looks. Of course, that’s to be expected from one of Maria Cristina’s drag daughters. Yup, we have another pair of queens from the same house competing against each other. But back to Shewarma. If you want to catch a glimpse of how she performs, check out this clip from her “Defying Gravity” lip sync at Nectar.
Check out her “Drag Den” audition tape.
Aries Night
View this post on Instagram
Aries Night is another fairly new queen in the scene but her drag is already sickening as it incorporates horror elements. Her debut performance seems to be a nod to “Carrie” and our fingers are crossed for references to local horror films in her performances in the show.
Check out her “Drag Den” audition tape.
Barbie-Q
View this post on Instagram
Trans queen Barbie-Q a.k.a. Dancing Doll Omi is one of Club One 690’s Pink Mannequins. She’s had a lot of experience directing and starring in big production numbers so we’re excited to see how she’ll switch it up for this competition’s stage.
Check out her “Drag Den” audition tape.
Photo from “Drag Den’s” cast reveal trailer
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
Tell me you’re a Filipino without telling me you’re a Filipino—do you find yourself, or at least notice the people around you, walking around with an umbrella even if there’s no drop of rain in sight? That’s because living in a tropical country calls for extra protection from the burning sun—and we know how it can feel like you’re melting most of the time.
While sharing an umbrella under the rain makes for the perfect K-drama scene, this portable device is an everyday item that a lot of us would never leave home without. So if there’s one thing that will make Filipinos stick out, even when outside the country, it’s the umbrella on a sunny day.
But we hate to break it to you, using an umbrella is not enough to protect you from the harmful effects of sun exposure. Regular exposure to the sun’s UV rays can take a toll on your skin’s overall health. And although we may love to flex our natural sun kissed complexion, it’s a must for us to take an extra step to maintain and protect our skin’s glow.
So let us introduce you to your next go-to essential and your skin’s next best friend—the everyday sunscreen.
Over time, UV damage causes premature aging which will make your skin develop a lot more wrinkles and lines. We won’t be young forever, so why would you want to look twenty years older than you actually are? Wearing sunscreen religiously can also greatly benefit your skin in the long run as it prevents the risk of developing skin cancer—which we should especially be aware of because we’re here for a good time and a long time.
Dermatologists recommend that you use sunscreens with sun protection factor (SPF) values of 30 or higher for daily use. But of course, it’s always better to go for a higher SPF if you can. The higher you go, the more protection it provides. So if SPF 30 sunscreens filter out about 97% of UVB rays, then SPF 50 sunscreens can filter around 98%.
Hello Glow’s 3-in-1 Lightweight Sun Care Gel (₱ 320) is the perfect product for ultimate protection from harmful UVB rays. Not only does this sunscreen have a value of SPF 50+ PA++++, but it also contains natural ingredients like aloe vera, bamboo leaf extract, and woodapple which help to keep your skin cool and smooth.
If you’ve been turned off by sunscreen before due to the notorious white cast it tends to leave, you don’t have to worry about that happening with the Sun Care Gel. Thanks to its gel base, it’s non-sticky and will leave you with minimal to no white cast. The consistency also makes it lightweight and fast-absorbing, allowing you to quickly apply it as one of the first steps in your morning routine—providing ample time for the sunscreen to work its magic as it’s recommended to apply it at least 30 minutes before going out into the sun.
Even if you don’t plan on being outdoors for most of the day, it shouldn’t be an excuse to skip the sunscreen. The sun’s UV rays can reach a person three ways: directly from the sun, scattered from the open sky, and through reflections. So if you find yourself near a window, then you’re most probably still vulnerable to UV rays — and using an umbrella definitely can’t help you there.
Given these reasons, it’s really important to make it a habit to use sunscreen, which can easily be practiced if you’re able to incorporate it into your daily life. For those who wear makeup or are just looking to even out their skin tone, we recommend finding a product that can complement or even replace your everyday foundation like Hello Glow’s Anti-Pollution Tinted Sunscreen (₱185).
This tinted sunscreen adapts to the color of your skin while still providing top tier protection against UV rays. The product also contains Pollustop Technology which gives you an added layer of protection against external pollution — keeping your look fresh and clean wherever you go.
Just like the Sun Care Gel, it also has extra ingredients that help with your skin’s overall maintenance. The Anti-Pollution Tinted Sunscreen has vitamin E that nourishes the skin, while hyaluronic acid and niacinamide helps to lock in hydration and control your shine for that dewy but sweat-free look.
Looking for something that gives you the best of both worlds? Hello Glow’s newest Ultralight++ Matte Sunscreen (₱320) deserves the spotlight. Their latest drop provides the matte-finish you may be looking for from a sunscreen, and also the easy application that comes with a moisturizing formula like a gel.
Being out in the sun for too long can be overwhelming for your skin and your energy. So ease your worries by using something that gives you skincare and protection in one.
Boasting of broad spectrum UVA/UVB protection, the Ultralight++ Matte Sunscreen contains additional ingredients that brings sun protection to the next level. The centella asiatica (cica) in the product helps to calm any inflammation or irritation. Hexylresorcinol and niacinamide brightens the skin, while 3 types of ceramides help to restore the skin barrier.
In order to make the most of your sun protection, it’s recommended for sunscreen to be reapplied every 2 hours since the active ingredients will start to break down as they do their job once you’re exposed to the sun. So the lightweight formula of Hello Glow’s products make it super easy to reapply as well.
Check out Hello Glow’s 3-in-1 Lightweight Sun Care Gel, Anti-Pollution Tinted Sunscreen, and Ultralight++ Matte Sunscreen in their official Shopee and Lazada store, Watsons and other leading stores nationwide—trust us, your skin will thank you later.
Photos courtesy of Hello Glow
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
I wore medals around my chest, gold and silver glinting under the scorching afternoon sun. I held trophies and was named most valuable player. I grew strong, pushing myself off the ground a hundred times a day, ran for miles every morning, and exhibited the grace of any dancer as I rounded the bases in record time.
I had accolades, tournaments abroad, heartstopping softball at-bats, and even the cheers of my teammates as I swept the diamond with a single swing. With every high five, every piece of metal around my neck, I was reminded that I had every right to hold my head up high. I should have been proud.
Still, whenever I stepped away from the softball field and put away my cleats and glove, I’d be back in classrooms or family reunions where all the medals and all the cheers that erupted from the dugout didn’t matter.
Nobody saw me for what I did or how strong I was. Suddenly, I am dressed down and medal-less, my tan lines stark when I shift, and my school uniform or house clothes lift to show a strip of lighter skin contrasting so heavily against the tan my sports socks and shorts have left me with.
My skin is always met with a scowl. It’s never a neutral statement when someone comments on my skin. It’s always accompanied by disgust, no matter how much someone tries to dress it up as a “joke.”
In a country that’s beaten down by heat and sun, famous for its beaches and summers, and nicknamed the Pearl of the Orient, the depth of my skin was still something disagreeable—it was almost like a bad punchline, except I was never the one laughing.
“You’re so dark na,” was the most common, but I’d be a fool to undermine people’s creativity when insulting my skin—as if being tan was somehow an insult to them and it was now a comedy competition.
“You’re going to be darker than what a blind man cannot see,” a relative said to me just as I returned home from Jakarta, Indonesia, where I hit home runs and caught the most impossible pitches. “Oh, I didn’t see you there!” An uncle jests as he pretends to bump into me, clownish, but he doesn’t make me smile. This is after I win a game with an almost impossible double play.
It takes all my resolve not to storm away.
When I was leaving for an immersion activity in college to live with the Aetas in Quezon province for a weekend, one of the staff members in the office in charge of the activity said, after remarking on the depth of my skin and the curl of my hair, “They might not let you board the bus back,” as some attempt at a funny quip. When I didn’t laugh, they went stone-faced.
“What do you mean?” I asked, intent clear in my voice. “You know… ‘Cause you look…”
“And?”
In the cool halls of my university, one that espouses love and acceptance in its core values, I stare this adult down, still in my softball uniform from earlier that morning, a uniform I earned through a scholarship in my competence on the field and in the classroom. I was a decorated scholar and athlete, but somehow everyone felt they could strip that away to point and laugh at the most low-hanging fruit they could observe about me.
I wasn’t—and am not—the only one.
***
Softball, a sport I’d given more than a decade of my life to, gave me a scholarship opportunity at my dream school, and made me a strong, focused, and disciplined athlete and person.
Still, someone, anyone who felt compelled—and there were plenty of them—to tell me something about myself I couldn’t change in the next 10 seconds seemed to have the boldness to humiliate me.
Despite all the games I won or the plays I carried, all that mattered was that I had tanned so deeply.
This was a constant. If it wasn’t softball, it was a trip to the beach or just a particularly hot vacation. I’d tan, and it seemed to bother people to the point of them needing to point it out.
“You got… you know…” The trepidation in their voice, the hesitation that confirms that people are aware of how terrible they sound despite how much they hide behind niceties and some false politeness.
It’s the fact that they’re aware of it, that they know it’s probably not a nice thing to say, but they say it anyway. What compels them to say it, I’ve never understood, especially when they seem to acknowledge just how messed up it is to bring someone down that way.
It may be a normalized sense of humiliation, something we’ve culturally embraced as something we can do as a “joke.” But jokes are supposed to be funny. Not once did I laugh.
***
I told a loved one I’d be taking a 12-day trip to the beach to unwind and mourn the end of a relationship. It was something I was excited to do, something I’d been looking forward to for months. But for all that I was sad, I also wanted to celebrate a new job, new beginnings, and new things to look forward to.
I had been steadfast in my healing, wanting the best for myself and my heart. I pushed past crying nights and mornings I didn’t want to leave my bed.
Still, when I talked excitedly about the trip and the healing I would do, the only thing they said to me with a sneer was, “12 days? Magiging negrita ka.”
I loved this person and understood that they had their own issues to work through about how they were teased for their skin too, so I remained quiet—but it crushed me inside. I thought I’d left all these comments behind in college. I suppose this national consciousness and disgust for anything south of what any local cosmetics brand can offer complexion-wise will pulsate deep into the future—mine or otherwise.
Because being dark had never been a fear I had until everyone around me convinced me it had to be. And even when I acknowledged that the depth of my skin didn’t matter, people still took it personally—to the point of making it seem like how I looked mattered so much to them that they had to bring me down as a result.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having dark skin. So the way people weaponized it against me and other girls who looked like me to make us feel bad came across ignorant at best and sinister at worst. And when we would point out how that literal “skin-deep” comment isn’t something to be making an insult out of, they’d suddenly double back, saying it was just a joke we shouldn’t be taking so seriously.
Insult when unconfronted, and a joke when ignorance is pointed out—that’s how these people operated.
When I’m in line to check in for the said 12-day trip and excitedly talk about how I’ll be on the beach, one of the airline security guards scrunches his face, laughing. “Naku, ma’am! Iitim ka, sayang.”
***
The funny thing is—you don’t need any accomplishments at all to be treated decently. Nobody needs to win a Pulitzer Prize to justify their anger at the most disparaging observation from strangers.
Nobody, even people who feel they aren’t particularly decorated in terms of what they’ve done, deserves to be minimized and reduced to their skin color.
There is so much more to someone than the depth of their skin. They could be unfailingly kind, incredibly smart, or are the rock of their family. And even if they aren’t any of these things, they still don’t deserve your sneers and offensive comments about their skin—as if that’s all they are.
The Philippines has internalized a mentality where we all strive to be light-skinned, thanks to papaya whitening soaps lining supermarket aisles. There is nary a locally produced skincare product that doesn’t whiten alongside its other benefits.
Here, in a country where half the year is heat and sun, we are expected to be as white as snow—a weather phenomenon we don’t even have, which makes that expectation doubly ridiculous.
***
A great majority of our celebrities are light-skinned, with plenty of them sporting foreign surnames. So many people want to look like them—and they know it.
Their teams, managers, and agencies all sign deals with whitening lotions and soaps or anything that will lighten the complexion. “You can look like me,” they promise, despite selling to an audience that wasn’t born with the same light skin they have.
In commercials, the “before” is almost always darker than the “after,” implying there is something undesirable about being dark and that we should strive to be lighter.
Some shows have even gone to the extremes of using darker foundation or straight-up blackface as a point of comparison to their light-skinned heroines.
It’s come to the point of ridicule at more than just family reunions—though I am far from forgetting aunts and uncles who are more outraged about my skin than anything.
“Don’t you use sunblock? Is there no sunblock budget in your team?” They’d ask with a laugh. And everyone wondered why I wanted to always just hide out in my room.
***
When I contracted anemia from a series of complications, I grew slightly pale.
It would disorient me to stand too quickly. I felt sick and dizzy at training and would be on the verge of losing consciousness during particularly stressful practices or games. Even school was a pain to sit through sometimes.
I was incredibly weak and could barely walk without feeling like the world was spinning.
Funny enough, this was when I got the most compliments—and the only thing that changed was that I was sapped of iron in my blood, making me a little lighter than usual.
I knew this is what these compliments were referring to.
“Don’t get dark na ha. You look great.”
As I fought fainting constantly, I thought I was finally beautiful.
***
It still bothers me sometimes, I won’t lie. And the fact that it bothers me frustrates me even further. There’s nothing wrong with tan skin—especially in a country where the sun is resolute in scorching the Earth for half the year. Instead, I was convinced it should bother me. I was convinced by people who were so caught up in that insecurity that it should be mine too.
Still, when I think about it and how ridiculous it is that someone would be so personally offended on behalf of my own skin, I just try to hold back laughter.
It’s no fault of mine that people feel they need to project how they feel about literal skin-deep, superficial issues onto others. It was no fault of mine when I was a child, my first time coming home from a family vacation to the beach, that an ignorant uncle felt the need to tell someone who was barely seven years old that she was ‘too dark.’
As if I had any reason to think I was too much of anything at that age.
Now, as I sip a fresh shake on the beach (day 10 of 12, everybody), completely content to tan, I can think of nothing else but how good the sun feels, how the waves froth around my ankles, and how little I care about how I have gone a few shades deeper.
Why? Because it literally doesn’t matter. And I wish I’d convinced myself of that sooner.
Art by Ella Lambio
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
BTS’ RM has earned a reputation as a musical poet and philosophical rapper among fans and peers in the industry. Earnest and self-reflective, it is unsurprising that his first full-length solo project has him reflecting on the end of his 20s during this new era for the group. Here’s what we know about the album so far.
Bighit Music announced the Dec. 2 release of RM’s first official solo album “Indigo” on Nov. 10. “RM has already given fans an honest look into his world through two mixtapes. Through ‘Indigo,’ RM delivers his candid thoughts and feelings and showcases a wide-ranging music through collaborations with various artists,” the company said on Weverse.
RM shared on his own Weverse post that he worked on the album for four years and that it’s very different from his previous releases. What can we expect if it’s far from 2015’s angry rap mixtape “RM” and 2018’s alt R&B melancholy “playlist” “mono.”?
View this post on Instagram
Now available for pre-order, we got a bit of a sneak peek into the album’s two versions: the book edition and the postcard edition. Fond of wordplay, RM tells us through the simple white outer box that he considers it a record of himself, a “documentation of my youth in the moment of independent phase,” and “the last archive of my twenties.” It also instructs us to use it while doing different activities.
Among the inclusions, the 100-page art book might be the one to look out for. We’ve seen some nature-based prints made using cyanotype, a photographic printing process that produces blue prints using coated paper and light. RM also teased a photograph of wooden furniture taken by Mok Jung-wook who, aside from working on album covers for K-pop artists like Blackpink and campaigns with brands like Prada, photographs traditional Korean artworks from the Joseon Dynasty era.
Visual art has become such a big part of RM’s personal life in the past couple of years. In a conversation between RM and BTS’ upcoming collaborator Pharell Williams for Rolling Stone’s Musicians on Musicians published in November, he said, “A fun thing for me with visual art is that when I listen to some great music, I’m blown away, but still, sometimes I feel really jealous. It [can be] really, really painful. So it’s funny, right? But for visual art, I just won’t draw a single line because I want to remain as an outsider. But I’m a lover. I’m a fan. I’m a maniac. So when I look at all the paintings and maybe sculptures, I just feel really relieved because I can love it as much as I can.”
Fans have been wondering whether Williams will be one of the featured artists on the album when he asked RM if he’d be interested. “You said you’re 90 percent done with your solo album. But if within that last 10 percent, if you need—you don’t need me, but I mean . . .” Williams offered.
View this post on Instagram
Speaking as an art patron in a New York Times interview, RM said that the pieces he was drawn to were about “eternity, and that comes because of this fast and hectic aura from this K-pop industry.”
He added that when he’s surrounded by the work of deceased greats in South Korean art history, he feels like they’re watching him and that, in turn, makes him “want to be a better person, a better adult, because there is this aura that is coming from these artworks on display.” When he feels “tired or let down,” he has conversations with them. Standing in front of a painting by Yun Hyong-keun, he might ask, “Mr. Yun, it’s going to be OK, right?”
Is that the experience that RM wants to share with us in “Indigo”? If so, sign us up.
Art by Ella Lambio
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
“I can’t believe that my own father is having an affair with my boyfriend.”
This is a line from the trailer of the 2022 Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF) entry “My Father, Myself.” To make it more accurate and to really drive home the shock factor, they could have gone with “boyfriend who’s also my brother.”
The trailer for “My Father, Myself” was released on Nov. 4 then was met with backlash, support, and a lot of confusion. It laid down the entire twisted double incest plot for us: A guy (Sean de Guzman) gets his adoptive sister pregnant and his adoptive mom (Dimples Romana) is forcing them to marry because of it. But the catch is, he’s actually in love with and is having an affair with his gay adoptive dad (Jake Cuenca) who had a previous affair with his biological dad. It’s the type of script that makes you think, “How did they get those actors to accept the part?”
Made for controversy
It’s the kind of movie that was made to be controversial. Because of this and its lower mid-budget feel, I thought that Darryl Yap was behind this, as it fits his MO. But it’s actually a Joel Lamangan movie—one that’ll likely be in the bottom tier of his filmography with the likes of “Menor de Edad” instead of with “The Flor Contemplacion Story.”
While “bash is cash” Yap isn’t the first director to capitalize on controversy, it’s hard to deny that whatever success he’s had in recent years helped show just how big the local market for it is and how many can still be convinced that this is “serious” filmmaking aimed at “shedding light on taboo issues.”
“My Father, Myself,” for example, seems to be trying to reel viewers in with its intimate incest scenes under the BL genre. The thumbnail for the video is a kissing scene. Come on.
You may think it’s camp, but the humor wears off when you remember that this is an official entry for the MMFF. The selection criteria for the film festival dedicates 40 percent for story and overall impact, 40 percent for cinematic attributes and technical excellence, 10 percent for global appeal, and 10 percent for Filipino sensibility. So what does it say about us and our film industry when “My Father, Myself” or 2020’s transphobic, misogynistic, and just plain unfunny “Pak Boys: Takusa” makes the cut?
A story that sets the bar low
The range in the initial comments on social media for “My Father, Myself” is even more interesting than the trailer itself. Lewd. Harmful to the LGBTQIA+. Camp. Inspiring and remarkable. A fearless and relevant gamechanger.
While some are already unironically claiming that Cuenca and Romana deserve acting nominations, others are jokingly saying that they’re going to get Romana out of there.
The differences in opinion may give us an insight into how Filipinos view the rare but not unheard of narratives of gay men falling in love with adoptive sons. Do we see it as a serious real-life issue that affects many Filipinos, a porn site fantasy, an entertaining yet thought-provoking what-if situation, or an enduring myth that has been weaponized against queer parents in a country that doesn’t recognize LGBTQIA+ unions? But even if we consider that maybe there isn’t one right answer, we can’t deny that the movie may negatively influence impressionable minds.
You can’t criticize this type of predatory relationship when you’re selling it as a BL and casting sexy actors to play the leads. And you can’t carelessly shoot as mere family or relationship drama when the narrative, inadvertently or not, makes some form of commentary on legislative issues like abortion, divorce, and LGBTQIA+ unions and adoption.
You don’t have to marry someone just because they got you pregnant. Straight women shouldn’t feel like they’re doing their gay partners a favor when they marry them despite their sexuality just because gay marriage isn’t legal. The LGBTQIA+ community isn’t out to adopt kids to try to be in relationships with them and if there are individuals like that, we’d be the first to want to bring them to justice. But this is a serious issue that isn’t isolated to cases with LGBTQIA+ abusers.
If the movie ends up with these conclusions, that’s the least it could do after trying to make BL money off this narrative. If it doesn’t, we hope we all learn that we deserve better movies than this at the box office.
Photo from screen grabbed from the movie’s trailer
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
Selena Gomez has just released a documentary on her mental health struggles on Apple TV. Called “Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me,” it follows the singer’s struggles with bipolar disorder spanning a six-year period.
The docu goes to some deep and dark places, showing Gomez at her most vulnerable. The first 15 minutes, shot in a way that unsuspecting viewers would think they’re about to watch another concert documentary, ends up chronicling the turbulent end of her 2016 Revival Tour, which was canceled after 55 performances because of her deteriorating mental health. And we’re given a clear view of how dark that period was for her.
“At one point, she was like ‘I don’t want to be alive right now. I don’t want to live,'” says her former assistant.
After that, the documentary shows Gomez ambling her way to recovery while managing an extremely public life as a pop star. From discussing with her team on whether or not to publicize her bipolar disorder and struggling with her nerves as she made her American Music Awards comeback with “Lose You to Love Me” and “Look at Her Now” (and watched as critics mercilessly tore her performance) to her getting increasingly more upset as she did promo after promo where interviewers either didn’t understand her, weren’t listening, or wasted her time.
But there’s also a bright lifeline in the form of her philanthropic work with WE Charity in Kenya, but even that rug was pulled from under her when the charity went under investigation.
And of course, she’s balancing all that along with her struggles with lupus, the autoimmune disease she’s been battling all her life. In 2015, she spoke about having the paparazzi and tabloids accuse her of being a drug addict and that she was going on a hiatus to go to rehab—as if there was anything wrong about it in the first place—when in reality she was taking a break to undergo chemotherapy. Throughout the documentary, we see how much the paparazzi continues to abuse her. She says it best: “It’s hard being a fucking girl and being crazy already.”
This is the rawest we’ve ever seen Gomez. Throughout multiple points of the documentary, we see her break down and cry, be afraid of her own psychosis, and apologize for the person she becomes when she’s not in control. “I want nothing more than to not be my past,” she says near the beginning and echoes through the film, which is heartbreaking.
“Everything I ever wished for, I’ve had and done all of it,” she says. “But it has killed me. Because there is always Selena.”
The documentary was made by Alek Keshishian, the same mind behind the seminal 1991 Madonna concert documentary “Madonna: Truth or Dare.” In Rolling Stone’s recent profile on Gomez, he talks about the singer giving him full control and access to her life, and how the film became a concert docu to what it is now.
He saw “a deeper documentary here about a young woman struggling to incorporate her diagnosis—she was fresh out of the mental facility—and trying to reconcile the fact that she’s still a patient, she’s still in the earliest stages of her recovery, but she desperately wants to use her platform for good and to talk about it. There’s some tension there because obviously she’s trying to be an example for others, but she’s still not on the other side of it, so to speak.”
It also has some potent, powerful imagery. Some shots, when Gomez is narrating lines from her diary that show exactly how dark a place her brain was, have the pop star made up like a calaveras de azúcar, a symbol for the Mexican Dia de los Muertos. There’s something so evocative about seeing her claim her culture while showing how much she’s fought.
The singer also released a single called “My Mind and Me” to go alongside the documentary’s release. With lyrics like “I’m constantly fighting something that my eyes can’t see,” and “but if I pull back the curtain, maybe someone who’s hurting will be a little more certain they’re not the only one lost” and a chorus that goes “my mind and me, we don’t get along sometimes,” it’s a good companion piece that continues to elucidate the docu’s thesis.
One thing “My Mind and Me” also makes clear is how much Gomez wants to be a safe place for people who are struggling like her. When she’s done with music and acting and the celebrity lifestyle, she tells an interviewer, what she really wants to do is philanthropy. While she’s well on her to way that, we hope she gets there without losing herself first.
Photo screengrabbed from the “Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me” trailer
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
An outsider might think that former Miss Argentina Mariana Varela and former Miss Puerto Rico Fabiola Valentín are just very good friends. But the beauty queens set the record straight when they announced that they tied the knot.
The newlyweds shared the news on Oct. 30 through an Instagram reel with clips from their engagement, wedding, honeymoon, and other sweet moments from their relationship. “After deciding to keep our relationship private, we opened the doors on a special day,” the caption reads in Spanish.
View this post on Instagram
The ceremony was held in a city courthouse in San Juan, Puerto Rico on Oct. 28. Both brides were dressed in similar white suit jackets styled differently. They were met with well wishes from fans, fellow pageant figures, and celebrities. Varela commented on their post in Spanish, “Thanks for all the love! We are very happy and blessed. I wish that the love that you are giving us is multiplied!”
View this post on Instagram
The pair met at the 2020 Miss Grand International competition in Thailand. They both made it to the top 10 and appeared to remain close friends with plenty of posts together on social media. When they started dating is anyone’s guess for now, but since they went public with their love, it’s impossible not to see the incredible chemistry they’ve had since the beginning.
Best wishes to Varela and Valentín and may your love inspire many!
Photo from Mariana Varela and Fabiola Valentín’s Instagrams
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber
Still don’t know where you’ll be spending your Halloween weekend? If you’re looking to dance, dance ’til you’re dead (on your feet), we’re listing down the best parties and gigs to rock your Halloween costumes at.
Here are events you can still snatch tickets for (Divine Divas’ D’ Halloween Intervention tickets, for example, have sold out) or haven’t reached your radar yet (we know you know about Hallyuween 2022).
DRAGula: HalloQUEEN Party 2022
View this post on Instagram
Ten drag queens in one spooky night. Get to see the likes of “Drag Race Philippines’” Marina Summers, Eva Le Queen, Viñas DeLuxe, Minty Fresh, and Brigiding perform at DRAGula 2022. Get a chance to win P5,000 if you come in your most sickening costume. This is definitely a sign to rock that scary drag look you’ve been planning forever.
Where and when: 4/F 500 Shaw Zentrum on Oct. 28 at 8 p.m.
Ticket: Entrance with a complimentary drink at P1,599
Jungle Circuit Party’s Ultraverse Halloween Ball
View this post on Instagram
Another entry with a great drag lineup is the Ultraverse Halloween Ball. Watch “Drag Race Philippines’” Precious Paula Nicole, Turing, and Prince as well as Myx Chanel and Matilduh. Jungle is better known for their Boracay beach parties, but they know how to have fun in the city, too.
Where and when: Shooting Gallery Studio on Oct. 28. Party starts at 9 p.m. and the show starts at 10 p.m.
Ticket: General admission with two complimentary drinks at P2,500
Xylo’s Paradigm
View this post on Instagram
If you’re up for non-stop partying, Paradigm is a three-day affair featuring some of the country’s top DJs. Heads will definitely roll here before the weekend is over.
Where and when: Xylo from Oct. 28, 29, and 31 at 10 p.m.
Elephant’s Cinnemaccluh 2022
View this post on Instagram
Our fave queer party Elephant has a Halloween special for the cinephiles. Come in your best Filipino movie-inspired costume at Cinnemaccluh and enjoy its ultracool lineup of some of your fave drag queens, live performers, and DJs like Teegee (a.k.a. Alyana Cabral), Celeste Lapida, Salad Day, and Joyen.
Where and when: Dirty Kitchen on Oct. 29. Doors open at 8 p.m., party starts at 9 p.m., and performances start at 11 p.m.
Ticket: Limited tickets for preorder at P400
Futur:st’s Honey Halloween Party and Dead Can Dance!
View this post on Instagram
Futur:st is another fave queer haunt. It’s holding a party with the Thursday Honey crew that will include a drag performance from Ms. Kiki this Saturday. Then get freaky on All Hallows’ Eve at its Dead Can Dance! party.
Where and when: Futur:st on Oct. 29 and 31. Doors open at 8 p.m. and the party starts at 10 p.m.
Club Euphoria MNL’s Party To Hell
View this post on Instagram
Club Euphoria MNL is bringing its party from the virtual world to IRL. Don your best fits inspired by the late ’90s and early to mid aughts for a chance to win cash prizes, bottles of liquor, and even a tattoo. Catch performances from the club’s residents and new artists.
Where and when: Pura Vida Manila on Oct. 29. Doors open at 6 p.m.
UNKNWN’s Supernatural
View this post on Instagram
UNKNWN’s hosting its first Halloween party so it’s pulling out all the stops. Think you can handle the fun night it has prepared?
Where and when: Aberdeen Court, Makati Ave. on Oct. 29. Doors open at 8:30 p.m.
Ticket: Limited pre-sale tickets go up tonight at 6 p.m.
Sofar Sounds Manila’s Halloween show
View this post on Instagram
You know the drill. Sofar doesn’t reveal the details of its shows until a day and a half before it starts. So we’re not sure who’s performing and where exactly it’s going to be held yet. But best be prepared if you’ve been wanting to attend the intimate listening experience.
Where and when: Parañaque Oct. 29 at 3:00 p.m.
Ticket: P700
The Halloween Gig: Your Favorite Bands In Costume
View this post on Instagram
If you prefer to rock out to live band music, The Halloween Gig: Your Favorite Bands In Costume might be more to your taste.
Where and when: SaGuijo Cafe and Bar on Oct. 29
Ticket: Presold at P350. Walk-ins at P400
Soupstar’s Oka Tokat
View this post on Instagram
Another OPM gig on the list is Oka Tokat. Some of the biggest local acts like Moonstar88 and Gracenote will take the stage. Come in your best costume for a chance to win special prizes.
Where and when: 19East on Oct. 31. Ticket selling starts at 6 p.m. and the show starts at 7 p.m.
Ticket: P800 plus P800 worth of consumables
Art by Ella Lambio
Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Viber