This just in: Demi Lovato just came out as nonbinary.
In the first episode of their podcast “4D with Demi,” the singer talked about their healing and spiritual growth over the past year and how that has led them to come to that realization. “Through this work, I’ve had this revelation that I identify as nonbinary,” they said.
“I’ll be officially changing my pronouns to they/them,” they added, saying, “I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression and allows me to feel the most authentic and true to the person I both know I am and still am discovering.”
“I want to make it clear that I’m still learning and coming into myself and I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson.”
The rest of the episode is a conversation between Lovato and their friend Alok Vaid-Menon, a nonbinary, gender-nonconforming and transfeminine writer. It’s honestly a very affirming convo to listen to as an enby myself, and it reminds me a lot of gender euphoria. That is, instead of focusing on the dysphoria of being the wrong gender, to celebrate the euphoria you feel when you’re finally being recognized and can express yourself as the right gender.
You can tell how happy Lovato is here, even when they’re sharing something heavy, like how trying to hide and suppress who you are can quite literally kill you. “In 2018, when I overdosed, I feel like the reason that happened is because I was ignoring my truth,” they said.
Vaid-Menon shared about their experience having to grow up repressing their nonbinary identity, and asking themself, “Why is it that when I’m joyous, I can’t be that?”
“Now what I’ve learned is that shame is joy interrupted.”
In the episode, Lovato also shared how integral Vaid-Menon and their mutual friend, singer Sam Smith, was to their own coming out. They recalled how Smith, who came out as nonbinary in 2019, spoke to them about being nonbinary, and then invited them to go see Vaid-Menon’s poetry show. That show resonated with Lovato so much, and they realized that what Vaid-Menon was talking about in their poetry were things that they felt too. Enbies supporting enbies, we love to see it!
There’s honestly so much gems from this episode (we’ve existed for thousands of years!) that each could garner their own article.
On Instagram, Lovato also posted a snippet from the episode and detailed their journey in the caption. “Sharing this with you now opens another level of vulnerability for me. I’m doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones. Please keep living in your truths and know I am sending so much love your way.”
ICYDK, Lovato also came out as pansexual last March, noting that being raised in a Christian household stopped them from coming out sooner. If you’re a bit confused, then remember: sexual orientation is not the same as gender identity. You can be both pan and enby at the same time, in the same way you can be both cis and straight, or be a lesbian trans woman. There’s no conflict there.
Anyways, all I can say is: Welcome to the enby club, Demi! Or rather, welcome home.
BTW, if you don’t know the significance of their coming out and their switch of pronouns, we released a video on why pronouns are important and why you should use the right one. Using the correct pronouns is a matter of respect. As an AFAB enby myself, being referred to as “they” instead of “she” could spell the difference between me spilling out into a dysphoric episode. That being said, not all nonbinary people use the same pronouns. Some people use a mix, like she/they, or even use gendered pronouns still, like he/him and she/her. Others also use neo-pronouns like zie/zirs, hir/hirs and so on. If you don’t know what a person’s pronouns are, just ask!
Header photo screengrabbed from the “4D with Demi” episode