Despite Having Kids, I Still Have a Social (Media) Life

Every week, Preen tackles motherhood sans the rose-tinted glasses. Our columnists L. JulianoMarla DarwinMonica Eleazar-Manzano, and Rossana Unson tell their personal experiences like it is—at times frustrating, oftentimes confusing, but always enlightening.

I used to be what my friends called a “party girl” because I was always out surrounded by people in noisy bustling places at night and yes, I already had a child at an early stage in my life. It’s just that I really liked being out. Often, I’d have this restless feeling whenever I’d be at home for long periods of time. So restless I would need to go out and be sociable.

And then suddenly, I didn’t want to go out anymore. I didn’t need to go out because I have… Facebook! I have Instagram and sometimes I even use Twitter, and for some one-on-one communication, I have FacebookMessenger, Viber and What’sApp. As for Snapchat, let’s leave that to the millennials.

For those of you who were already alive when the Internet connection was still dial-up (oh gosh, I feel so antique!), remember the IRC? The Yahoo chat rooms? ASL, which translates to age, sex, location? Facebook is all that and more! No need to ask for more information, its right there on your profile picture!

Just like the barista at your favorite overpriced coffee shop shouts “Tall, macchiato, decaf!” our Facebook profile pictures shout “Pretty, twenty-something, with boyfriend!” Tell me, you haven’t heard that in your mind when you’re stalking the Facebook profile of that girl who was in the photo with your crush who you only found because he tagged her? “Bald, angry, preachy!” the barista in your head shouts when you see the profile picture of the guy you used to go out with in college. “Ew,” the barista in your head says with his million-dollar smile, “You had the hots for him? He’s so… so… not for you! And his wife is so much less pretty than you are!”

Facebook is now my social life. I can see and be seen without having to get out of my day-old pajamas or wash my hair. Just post a photo of myself taken when I was actually wearing clothes without holes and makeup and the world has “seen” me. I can interact with people who comment on my photo, “Looking good, Rossana!” and I reply, “Thanks so much, (insert name of friend here who recently went biking with his son all the way to Cavite and has lost ten pounds on a Carrot diet).” See? I interacted with someone today. Communicated with them too and wasn’t I witty in my reply? Now all my Facebook friends know who I really am!

I’m not alone in this social media life that I described. There’s a whole lot of us, Gen X-ers, that are on Facebook.

When chatting with a friend over Viber the conversation goes like this:

Me: “Oh my gosh, have you read XXX’s status update? What is with that? Why did he post that he was sad?”
Friend: “Oh, his wife posted on our high school Viber group. She was really pissed and asking our other friends who this certain girl was from a lower batch. (Insert sad Viber crazy face here). I think XXX is having an affair!”
Me: (Viber shocked girl with purple hair sticker comment)

Viber chat got cut short because I had to take a shower already so I would be only 15 minutes late to my 6 p.m. meeting.

The digital world is our playground and, oh, how we enjoy it! A playground is definitely what it is because we all act like kids on Facebook. “I’m sick and tired of people who post negative things that just ruin my day and make my life miserable so I’m unfriending the whole lot of you who don’t do anything for me and don’t post anything that I even like.” These are my vocal friends who warn their Facebook friends of their impending doom. After this Unfriend Post you think, “Gosh, what will I do if XXX unfriends me? I’ll be one friend short of 3,000 and I may miss out on someone who may actually like my 100th photo of what I had for lunch!” which I shared on Facebook from my Instagram account, naturally.

So no, you won’t see me out that often in anywhere interesting, but you will see me on Facebook, surrounded by my kids for #fambam #bonding #time #happy #grateful, and of course, #blessed in the latest restaurant in BGC. And yes, I’ve tagged the photo of where exactly I am because why would I want my poor friends to have to guess what cool place I’m in at the moment?

Because who really needs an actual social life these days? Our social (media) lives are so much more interesting and perfect!

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.


Art by Dorothy Guya

Jacque De Borja: Jacque De Borja is an introvert pretending to be an extrovert, who gets insanely emotional about things—especially if they’re about dogs, women’s rights, and Terrace House.