Welcome to Ask Poppy! I’m Poppy, your go-to girl for all of life’s woes. And when I say ALL, I MEAN IT. I’m not an expert on anything except maybe for being me, which makes me totally qualified to do this.
Hi Poppy,
I feel a little weird talking about this in public, but I hope you could enlighten me somehow.
Earlier this year, I experienced a really painful breakup from my longtime girlfriend. Although I’m quite okay now—no more breaking down and I don’t feel uncomfortable around her when we’re out with our common friends—I still miss her.
So here’s the twist: I’m 26 years old and a 17-year-old girl started flirting with me. I find her cute and she’s game for a date. And she may have made some hints via social media that she can help me move on by doing “whatever I want.” (Open for interpretation, I guess.)
Don’t get me wrong, the offer does sound tempting and I am willing to wait till she’s of legal age. But, there’s this gnawing thought that I might just mess myself up more if I use a person—someone I barely know, in fact—to move on from my ex.
I like this new girl, yes. But is my mind in the right place here? If you were in my position, what would you do differently to get through this?
Thanks a lot, Poppy.
—Joseph
Hey there, hot stuff
If we are to abide by the really flawed and f*cked up law in this country, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with hooking up with a 17-year-old, especially if you have the receipts to back up your actions. Like, seriously, Joseph, make a screen cap of her messages and like, upload them to the cloud. You see, according to the law, the age of consent is 12 years old. Let that sink in first, man. Technically, it’s not statutory rape if you had sex with a 12-year-old as long as you’re both into it.
I told you it’s f*cked up. Dude, a 12-year-old is still a child! What’s even more f*cked up is that anyone under the age of 18 can’t get an HIV test without parental consent. So, what the law is saying is that basically, you can have consensual sex if you’re 12 and above, but you can’t have access to an HIV test unless you ask your mommy and daddy for permission. LIKE, WHAT EVEN, PHILIPPINE CONSTITUTION?
Basically, you don’t have to wait next year just to do “whatever you want” to her. You can just do it without anyone giving a damn. You can’t marry her, though, because she’s like 17 and that’s against the law. I mean, Freddie Aguilar had to convert to Islam just to marry his 16-year-old bride because that’s how the Muslim Sharia Law rolls, yo.
Now that we got the specifics of the law out of the way, let’s move on to other pressing matters: Would I have sex with her? Yeah, sure. If I had a penis, I would go for it. You see, the thing about me is that I absolutely do not give a sh*t about how the other person would feel as long as we’re having fun. I mean, sex is fun. Why would I deprive myself of something that’s totally awesome to do, right?
We’re not in a Woody Allen film where people make love, we’re just ordinary people going through the notions of this sh*tty life. Here’s a really cute girl who is really into you and super bet mo rin siya—so just do it.
Joseph, I don’t think that you’re gonna mess up yourself even more just because you think you’re using this teenage girl to get over your ex. Did it ever occur to you that she’s just using you because she’s going through puberty, and as someone who went through that sh*t, sometimes you just really need a dick in you to get through the day. Like, you think you’re “being right” by not having sex with her, when actually, you’re just being a dude. You’re such a dude that you think that you’re going to ruin this 17-year-old girl by using her to get over your ex. Dude, she wants to have sex with you because that’s what she wants! That’s what her body is telling her to do! And you’re probably her type so she’s all over you and you’re just being a dude to think that depriving her from what she wants is the PC thing to do. Seriously, Joseph, you’re not the only dude sa balat ng mundong ito. You’re actually very lucky that she wants to help you get over your ex.
Let’s be honest here: you’re still caught up with your ex. Sure, feeling mo okay ka na because you don’t break down anymore and you’re cool whenever she’s around, but really you’re not. The mature thing to do is to admit to the new girl that you’re still not over your ex, but you would like to be—eventually. Tell her that sex sounds great, but the best way to heal your broken heart is to completely remove yourself away from the pain that you’re still in. Maybe this girl isn’t the right person for the job, but if you think that she’s cute and that she has the potential to become your new muse, then why not go for it?
It’s not necessarily just sex, I mean sure, she’s totally pulling a Lolita on you, firing up your loins and giving you such dirty, dirty thoughts. But what if she’s actually a decent person and that you might actually have a chance to become better through her? Perhaps getting to know her further by going out on relatively safe dates is the way to go. You can never really move on from someone else unless there is another someone else. I’m not saying “Go ahead, use this helpless girl.” I’m just saying, “Hey maybe give her a chance, Joseph.”
Be in the right frame of mind. Don’t think that you’re just using her for your own gain, because dude, it’s possible that she’s just using you, too. At the end of the day naman, we’re all just using one another for our own gain. If that is what’s going to make you feel better, then why not, right? Just make sure to play your cards right and make sure it’s consensual. Or else, I’m going to hunt you down and kick your ass.
Be a good boy now, Joseph.
Always,
Poppy
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.
Got a question for Poppy? From love and relationships to weird questions you dare not ask even your psychologist, Poppy is ready to answer them all. Send in your questions to [email protected] or post your question over Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #AskPoppy, and you just might get the answer you are looking for.
Art by Dorothy Guya
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