• Culture
    Culture
    Filipino actors Bridgerton

    Get to know the Filipino actors in ‘Bridgerton’

    pura luka vega chappell roan church

    Matched her freak! Pura Luka Vega performs Chappell Roan’s ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ at ‘Church’

    AI and deepfake porn is a form of sexual assault—and we need to talk about it

    AI and deepfake porn is a form of sexual assault—and we need to talk about it

    • Women
    • Queer
    • Politics
    • Environment
    • Food
  • Style
    Style
    Pond's serums

    These night serums are your new solutions for radiant, glowing skin

    5 original Filipino fragrance brands to check out

    5 original Filipino fragrance brands to check out

    Here’s where you can get unique, one-off accessories—designed by you

    • Fashion
    • Beauty
    • Space
    • Shopping
  • Entertainment
    Entertainment
    Filipino actors Bridgerton

    Get to know the Filipino actors in ‘Bridgerton’

    pura luka vega chappell roan church

    Matched her freak! Pura Luka Vega performs Chappell Roan’s ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ at ‘Church’

    charlie’s angels totally spies!

    Our favorite onscreen spies, from Austin Powers to ‘Totally Spies!’

    • Celebrities
    • TV & Movies
    • Music
  • Life+Money
    Life+Money
    Single woman adopts baby

    Forming a family: When a single woman adopts a baby

    painting of baby

    A mother-to-be’s survival guide

    Navigating a friend breakup that has no bad blood

    It’s no one’s fault: When a friendship naturally runs its course

    • Career & Money
    • Parenting & Relationships
    • Sex & Health
    • Astrology
    • Travel
  • Inquirer.net
  • Lifestyle
Reading
I’m a Homeschool Mom… I think
ShareTweet
In CultureEditor's PickMomhoodPreen
4 min read

I’m a Homeschool Mom… I think

By Ronna Capili-Bonifacioon June 12, 2018
MomhoodHomeSchool
Share

MomhoodHomeSchool

Every week, Preen tackles motherhood sans the rose-tinted glasses. Our columnists L. Juliano, Marla Darwin, Monica Eleazar-Manzano, Rossana Unson, Chrina Cuna-Henson, and Ronna Capili-Bonifacio tell their personal experiences like it is—at times frustrating, oftentimes confusing, but always enlightening.

Let me begin by laying all my cards on the table—I’m not officially a homeschool mom just yet by virtue of enrollment forms, tuition fees, and curricula. I only recently completely embraced our family’s decision to start our children’s education through home education. This isn’t an article on how to get started if you’re interested in it, or why you should consider it. Because mama, I know zilch. What you’re about to read is a confessional of my motherly insecurities. 

If like many millennial moms, you’re consuming information via social media, you might have noticed that a number of influential moms are beginning to share that they are considering to homeschool their kids. Our family didn’t have strong opinions about what we wanted to do. I think my husband and I always figured we would probably homeschool because many of our closest friends and our community does so. We let our eldest just be until one day we woke up and realized she was five years old. All of a sudden, she was the age that the government required to be enrolled somewhere if she was to receive education. A decision needed to be made, stat.

Everyone around me was homeschooling but I found myself struggling with the decision. I could not bear to just “do what everyone else” was doing. I thought seriously about sending her to school which would free me up a few hours (hurray!). We looked around for schools we could realistically put her in and I quickly realized that it would create the busy hustle and bustle. And the rush wasn’t something I wanted.

I couldn’t fully say that I wanted to homeschool because I felt guilty that choosing it meant I didn’t want to go back to work full time just yet. I felt guilty that I didn’t want to “have it all”—the kickass career, the picturesque family goals with a full household staff, a sprawling garden behind my lanai decorated ala Kinfolk meets Darling. I felt guilty that choosing homeschooling might mean that I had no personal ambition and that #momsohard is all I wanted to do.

I did not want to be labelled as “a stay at home mom.” It bothered me when a friend explained to her husband that I could manage my two kids alone because “I had no job.” (Hey Preen, thanks for being on my CV.) Maybe if I choose homeschooling after giving up having a full-time desk job for six years now, I would turn into “that mom”: homely, talks only about her kids, no longer abreast with the world, goos and gagas in between sing-songy sentences.

And it is wrong to only have family as markers of your identity on your profile’s bio. Don’t you want to do more for yourself? You went to such a good university. What a waste of your talent and training, to “just be a mom.” Especially today, when women are saying #TimesUp and we are lobbying for equal pay. When the world needs more female CEOs, entrepreneurs, and Sheryl Sandbergs. When we should all be feminists, says Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Why are you staying at home to watch Bob the Train for the millionth time? Why are you going back in time?

Much of my life has been marked with achievement and striving, and I am afraid that by choosing to slow down and putting my career on the backseat means I am not being a good woman. Because today, women can do anything. Yet here I am, viciously trying not to do everything. 

I am afraid to be labeled. Maybe as that kooky mom who brainwashed her kids. Or that woman who could have done more or been someone. “But now she’s just a mom.” Or to be that woman who lives with an “archaic” family setup where she’s the little umbrella underneath her husband’s larger umbrella.

Yes, the decision whether to homeschool our kids brought about existential life questions. But here’s what I have learned, this guilt is not unique to the question of home education. Mine just happened to surface through it. The constant barrage of “be more, do more, get it, girl!” messages made me wonder, is there’s something wrong that I might be okay with a smaller and slower life? Is it okay that I might possibly love my life that is simpler? Am I a terrible woman for not going after “having it all”?

I still have my personal ambition and goals—anyone close to me can tell you I’m hardly the poster girl of anti-hustling. But that isn’t what I’m trying to get at. If we can advance our careers without it meaning we don’t love our children, maybe I can be with my children and still be driven too.

Whether we are working moms, stay at home moms, work from home moms, single moms, young moms and what have you, I’d like to think that we’re all… moms. 

We’ll always find something to feel guilty about, it’s the occupational hazard of being a mother. But the labels and typecasting is perhaps the most outdated practice when it comes to motherhood. The privilege I enjoy today as a free woman means I have a choice. And it should never require explanation nor should it be attached to a guilty conscience.

Maybe that’s where I’ll start educating my daughter.

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.

 

 Art by Marian Hukom

Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Viber

Related stories:
Why I decided to move my family and live the island life
All the reasons I’m putting off formal education
The importance of teaching feminism at a young age
How my fear of motherhood helped me with parenting

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Share 0

Action Required!

We embed Facebook Comments plugin to allow you to leave comment at our website using your Facebook account. It may collects your IP address, your web browser User Agent, store and retrieve cookies on your browser, embed additional tracking, and monitor your interaction with the commenting interface, including correlating your Facebook account with whatever action you take within the interface (such as “liking” someone’s comment, replying to other comments), if you are logged into Facebook. For more information about how this data may be used, please see Facebook’s data privacy policy: https://www.facebook.com/about/privacy/update.

Accept    Decline

Tags
educationmomhoodMotherhoodparentingschool

Subscribe to our newsletter

Stay in the loop


By subscribing, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

ShareTweetEmailShare
Ronna Capili-Bonifacio
Jacque De Borja is an introvert pretending to be an extrovert, who gets insanely emotional about things—especially if they’re about dogs, women’s rights, and Terrace House.

Peek This

OMNIBUS 2025: A Festival For All

OMNIBUS 2025: A festival for all

Pond's serums

These night serums are your new solutions for radiant, glowing skin

Filipino actors Bridgerton

Get to know the Filipino actors in ‘Bridgerton’

pura luka vega chappell roan church

Matched her freak! Pura Luka Vega performs Chappell Roan’s ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ at ‘Church’

Preen.ph © 2020. Hinge Inquirer Publications, Inc.
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • HOME
  • ARCHIVES
  • ABOUT US
  • CONTACT US
  • ADVERTISE WITH US
Previous
WATCH: Prince Harry gives Meghan Markle some royal pointers
Next
Indoor activities for when you’re rained in
  • Culture
    • Women
    • Queer
    • Politics
    • Environment
    • Food
  • Style
    • Fashion
    • Beauty
    • Space
    • Shopping
  • Entertainment
    • Celebrities
    • TV & Movies
    • Music
  • Life+Money
    • Career & Money
    • Parenting & Relationships
    • Sex & Health
    • Astrology
    • Travel
  • Inquirer.net
  • Lifestyle
  • Subscribe
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Search
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
fashion fashion news music Culture News movies
See all results

Subscribe to our newsletter

Stay in the loop


By subscribing, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.