Michelle Obama is a blessing to our generation. She has proven herself a great role model to women and young girls around the world. She continues to inspire ladies from all walks of life beyond her stay in the White House. Aside from her best-selling memoir, Becoming, she recently shared more nuggets of wisdom through a letter she penned for her college-self for CBS’ “Note to Self” series.
Make sure to take note, because her advice and reminders to her younger self might work for you too.
On struggling with self-doubt
Michelle finished her studies at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. But it wasn’t always easy, especially for a woman with her background. She was a first-generation college student and came from a working-class neighborhood, unlike most of the population in Princeton. In the letter, she revealed the insecurities she felt then: “You’re at one of the finest universities in the world. You’re smiling, and you should be, you worked hard for this. But even now, after you reached your goal, you’re still not quite sure if you belong and can’t get one question out of your mind: ‘Am I good enough?’ There aren’t many kids here who look like you. Some arrived on campus in limousines. One of your classmates is a bona fide movie star, another is rumored to be a real-life princess. Meanwhile, you got dropped off by your father in the family sedan.”
Here’s how she assured herself that she is good enough: “But Michelle, what you’ll come to realize one day is that you’re only seeing what you lack and not everything that your story has given you. You grew up surrounded by soul and jazz and a deep, anchoring love. Your parents taught you to keep your word and treat people with respect. They encouraged you to develop your own voice and use it. Those lessons are more valuable than anything material.”
On valuing the important people in your life
Sadly, Michelle’s father passed away in 1991. She addressed how that has affected her in the letter, particularly, how it taught her to value the time you have with your loved ones. As a daddy’s girl, this part hit me hard:
“Your father’s final lesson will come far too soon. He’ll teach you that life is fleeting. So laugh with him until your side hurts. Savor the grip of his hugs, the softness in his eyes. A day will come when those memories are all you’ll have. His absence will hit you like a rock. It’ll cause you to rethink everything about yourself and your future.”
On relationships and being your own person
We all know Michelle is the wife of former US President Barrack Obama. Though that role had a hand in shaping the person she has become, she is much more than that. In the letter, she shed some light on what it’s like to be with someone like Barrack: “His certainty about his path will feel like a challenge to yours. You’ll learn that even the best relationships take work but that’s okay, that’s normal and it’s what gives your partnership its strength.” She added, “Together, you’ll be blessed with two perfect little girls who will fill you with so much joy you can barely process it. Yet you’ll still struggle to find a balance between your family, your husband’s rising career, and your own sense of self. Be patient. You’ll get there.”
On dealing with haters
Obviously, we stan Michelle. But as with everything else, not everyone feels that way. Everyone has something to say about her every move since she became the first lady, and they’re not all good. A lot were beyond rude and hopeful. She wrote, “Everything you’ve fought for so hard—stability, balance, confidence—will feel like it’s at risk. You’ll be attacked by people who’ve never met you and don’t really care to.”
I’m sure we can all learn from her advice to herself on how to cope with it: “They’ll try to harm you for their own gain. Don’t stoop to their level, no matter how gratifying it might feel in the moment. Hold tight to those values your parents taught you.”
On staying grounded
Someone who was thrust in a position of power and prominence like her can easily lose sight of what is important. Michelle is more than aware of this. “It will be easy to think you’re something special,” she said. “Just remember that there are millions of people who grew up like you did and don’t get this kind of spotlight. Reflect the light back on them.” She further reminded herself on how who she is now can affect change for people with similar roots. “There are so many people out there like you, Miche. Black girls and minorities of all kinds, working-class kids from big cities and small towns, people who doubt themselves, who are uncertain about whether they belong but have so much to offer the world. Share your story with them, the struggles and the triumphs and everything else.”
On finding your self-worth
We all have been kept up some nights questioning our self-worth. She has a simple message to herself I’m sure will resonate to all of us. Close your eyes and instead of future Michelle talking to her younger self, imagine this message is from the future you: “You’re more than enough. You always have been and you always will be. And I can’t wait for you to see that.”
Art by Marian Hukom
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