‘Pose’ teaches us the importance of the family we choose

There are two kinds of families: the one you’re born into and the one you choose for yourself. As much as we should give importance to our blood relatives, it isn’t alway the case.  I’m speaking from experience and I’ve also heard stories from friends who feel the same way. That being said, I want to talk about Pose. The show came out last year but it has been creating so much buzz locally, I just had to watch it. Set in 1987, it “Looks at the juxtaposition of several segments of life and society in New York: the rise of the luxury universe, the downtown social and literary scene and the ball culture world.” It can get heavy but also has those comedic moments, much like real life. If you’ve seen the show, you know it tackles many serious topics like HIV, LGBTQ+ issues, and sex. Aside from that, I found the issue of family to be very important. Unlike other shows, this sheds light on how we can create our own family when our real one has pushed us away. The situations they highlight show how sons and daughters have been thrown out of their homes because they were no longer accepted by their parents and siblings. Whether you can relate to this or not, it gives hope.

There are many storylines that weave together as each character has their own struggles to deal with, but the main focus is Blanca who becomes a house mother. She takes in talented kids from the streets to save them like she was also saved by a house mother at their age. Little by little they form a family under the name “House of Evangelista.” On the surface, they just come off as a group of people who live and compete together at the balls to snag trophies, but it is so much more than that. As each episode rolls on, you’ll notice their dynamic start to change as if they’re morphing into a real family. Blanca, like a mother, is a little tough on them but goes above and beyond to help her kids see and reach their full potential. One even got a scholarship to a prestigious dance school. The kids she takes in also start to get along more and they begin to look out for each other.

Seriously, sh*t gets real and emotional. Especially during the Christmas episode. I could relate to this episode on some level. Like many, Christmas season is one of my favorite times of the year. However, as I got older, a part of the magic started to disappear. All of a sudden, The tree didn’t make me smile as much, the decorations just felt like clutter, and I didn’t want to spend so much time with my extended family anymore. Before I continue, no, I’m not acting like a little b*tch. Not all families are perfect and just because you have the same genes doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to get along with them. Just the same, you shouldn’t tolerate bad behavior with anyone in your life, same goes with your family. If you have a similar scenario, then you understand the importance of the other family you have, the one that you build with people who don’t judge you and love you.

I’ve always struggled to fit in and never really felt like people got who I was. At some point I kind of lost who I was and just pretended. I put up this facade and got away with it. It worked for a while but if you’ve ever faked anything in your life, you know how tiring it can get. Eventually, I stopped caring about what other people thought and started to act like my true self. It shocked me to see the people I started to attract, people with the same energy. So, whenever I feel like an outsider in my own house with the family members that I live with, I remember the other people I consider family. The friends I have created the closest bond with, ones I could have never imagined before. Then, I don’t feel so bad. Moral of the story? Remember that you’re not limited to what you were born into, you always have a chance to make your own.

 

Art by Marian Hukom

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Tisha Ramirez: