In 2017, comedian Terry Crews became one of the unlikely faces of the #MeToo movement. Through Twitter, he revealed that he had been sexually assaulted by a Hollywood executive in 2016. Amid trolls questioning his story and even making fun of him, he became a reasonable voice that brought down some men’s harmful beliefs rooted in hypermasculinity.
READ MORE: Why are men like Terry Crews still expected to be tough in the face of sexual assault?
It would seem he is actually one of the men who understands the dangers of toxic masculinity. But as his recent tweets about familial values show, that’s maybe not the case. Using Twitter again, he shocked followers when he shared his views that maternal and paternal love are essentially different and BOTH are necessary in children’s lives. “MY purpose is to give paternal love,” he said.
Terry Crews On The Importance Of Fatherhood https://t.co/f42PZqH3rL via @YouTube
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 1, 2019
While there are those who agreed, many fans and critics found his statements problematic. Some even called it homophobic, as it would appear he is supportive only of heteronormative families. “It’s saying that love is somehow changed by the gender of the person loving,” Yelley Victoria, a queer mother, musician, and writer, tells Teen Vogue. “[It feels like he’s saying that] every other combination or variety of love is inherently lacking.”
Users also highlighted how his tweets are hurtful to people who have lost their parents. I would say it’s additionally painful to spouses who have just lost their partners, and now faced with the reality of having to raise their children on their own. The message he’s sending them is that they’re not enough. He is perpetuating the idea that as parents, there are definite roles for men and women. And women are incapable of doing the man’s role, and vice versa.
Regardless of these criticisms, Terry remained firm in his beliefs. He became defensive, even appearing to mock those who called him out.
When you quit speaking for black people…. https://t.co/23dp6XWcqi
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 2, 2019
Me:
Human beings need exercise.#Woke Twitter:
FUCK you! I don’t exercise! I have NEVER exercised and I’m fine! My kids CAN’T exercise because they were hurt so now you’re mocking them! I demand you take that back and apologize! Terry Crews do better.Also me: pic.twitter.com/zUNX6aROOm
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 4, 2019
Race doesn’t exist either, but CULTURE does. Your culture matters.
Your race, not so much. https://t.co/yt4ibnqB7z
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 1, 2019
However, he still acknowledged some of the negative responses and has since apologized “for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted,” explaining that, “I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black father.”
Had a great talk with @iamstephbeatz this morning on set that shed a lot of light on why the LBGTQ community were hurt by my comments.
I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 5, 2019
Though I acknowledge this apology, I think Terry remains stubborn in his belief. Don’t get me wrong. Yes, he is still very much a credible voice on the issue of sexual assault, but his take on toxic masculinity is clearly muddled. Todd St. Hill, an organizer, writer, and socialist, tells Teen Vogue, “[Terry] hyperfocuses on his experience, and only his experience, as a man.” I believe that’s where the problem lies. Though he has progressive views with regards to toxic masculinity as seen on sexual assault—based on his experience, he is still stuck in the archaic notion of gender binary, particularly in parenting—again, as he stressed, because of his own experiences. However, he chooses to brush off other’s experiences which contradicted him. Disregarding their testament that it is possible to live a life and feel complete without a distinguished maternal and paternal love is wildly irresponsible, especially since he is already considered by most as an authoritative voice in the of topic of toxic masculinity.
https://twitter.com/ggiinnaa30/status/1101585864742756352
https://twitter.com/asluckyasus/status/1101588113862901760
Citing the commentary from Teen Vogue writer Jenn Jackson about his unhealthy view on families, Terry claims he is taking the criticisms to heart and is trying to understand and grow. I certainly hope so.
Photo courtesy of Terry Crews’ Instagram account
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