Here at Preen, we’re fully aware that adult life doesn’t always go as smoothly (and look as beautiful) as curated Instagram feeds. We all face challenges amidst all the good things. Meet Mikka Wee, a former food editor-turned-working gal in Singapore, who’s about to share all the ups and downs that come with adulting and living. Welcome to Bless This Mess!
Actually, I don’t really need to be 30 to end my “deadly sins” and eradicate them completely from my life. In reality, I should be starting now, simply because it is the right thing to do. But in this season, I’d like to be slightly relaxed and take it a bit easy on myself because in my opinion, entering a new decade in life is a big deal. It’s not like I dread turning 30. Aside from not really having a choice, I am actually anticipating this turn of a leaf because I feel like it will be the decade of big, good things happening and big, good goals being ticked off. Yes, I am excited, and yet, I can’t help but admit that I miss the feeling of living under my parents’ roof and not having to be completely responsible for my life.
As they say, everything should be enjoyed in moderation—whether it’s eating or working out or shopping. I have a tendency to go overboard and overindulge when it comes to self-care, and I am really the best conjurer of excuses that I know. I can make up anything in my head and validate a certain action (especially if I know it was the wrong thing to do) in order to soften the blow. When I took some time off this week to contemplate on my life lately and all the splurges I’ve been charging to “self-care”, I noticed a lot of the time that my cravings were driven by motivation and consumerism, which is unavoidable in this day and age. I noticed the habits and patterns that were driving me to slip off the grid, and I’ve narrowed it down to several that I need to put an end to—not by the time I’m 30, but as soon as possible, really.
Consistently giving myself an extension whenever I hit my screen time limit on Instagram
Excuse I give myself: It’s for inspiration!
But really: I end up feeling social pressure and cave in to momentary cravings.
I have a newfound love and enjoyment for Instagram as I view it now as a mood board of sorts. But then, I find myself getting addicted to the visual stimulation I get as I browse. There was a reason why I set my screen time limit to an hour everyday, and lately, I’ve been going beyond my allocated hour and end up purchasing a few unnecessary items because I saw them on social media. This leads me to my next point.
Excuse I give myself: I need it! It’s my reward!
But really: I end up overspending and going beyond my monthly budget.
Enough said. Lately, I’ve been going a bit overboard with my spending. Telling myself that I need this and that when I already have more than enough.
Excuse I give myself: I work best with grace under pressure.
But really: I am lazy and end up imploding and stressing out with deadlines.
Sometimes I think of how productive I could’ve been if I just met my deadlines. It’s always easy to carry over today’s tasks onto tomorrow’s to-do list in order to watch the next episode of Stranger Things, but when those tasks pile up, you’ll definitely feel worse than being trapped in The Upside Down.
Being a perfectionist
Excuse I give myself: I need to look the part, dress the part, and make sure everything is 100 percent PERFECT.
But really: I waste so much time perfecting unnecessary details.
I really hate this trait about myself. There are times when a little irk throws me off so much, I need to redo a task, wasting precious time and effort. I realized that I don’t choose the best battles after all. I am guilty of writing down notes on a piece of paper and rewriting them because I wasn’t satisfied with my handwriting the first time around.
Not choosing the harder decision (even if it’s for my own good)
Excuse I give myself: It’s okay, you work hard, and you deserve this.
But really: I regret not having enough discipline and pay the price for it.
This is something I really need to work on. I feel so entitled sometimes to take the easier way out because I feel I deserve it for working hard. I mean, rewarding yourself every once in a while is healthy and looks different for everyone, but you’ll know it when you’re starting to feed yourself some major BS just to feel better about not choosing the hard thing (when you know you should have).
Not honoring my word
Excuse I give myself: There’s always tomorrow; you can always start over.
But really: I’ve told myself this more than a million times already, and I end up sad and embarrassed with myself.
At the end of the day, I believe it all boils down to honoring your word and yourself. I am learning that self-love doesn’t always look easy—sometimes, you need to show yourself some tough love. Showing up for yourself and honoring your word can sometimes be the hardest thing to do, but actually doing the thing that you know is good for you (no matter how difficult) could be the best hug we could give ourselves.
I admit, choosing the tougher things in exchange for growth is something I need to work on. I always turn to “busyness” and “entitlement” as excuses to get what I want, but what I always fail to remember is that there are times when we need a bit of sacrifice to achieve bigger things in the future. The most relevant thing I saw on the internet today was a trending article about Isko Moreno saying, “You want change? Start disciplining yourselves.”
If I was waiting for a sign, that was it. I know I should, and I don’t need to wait until I’m 30 to start.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.
Art by Tricia Guevara
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