Today on clueless men we have rapper T.I. who checks his 18-year-old daughter’s hymen to ensure she’s still a virgin.
In the latest episode of the “Ladies Like Us” podcast hosted by Nazanin Mandi and Nadia Moham, T.I. talked about his parenting style. “I think that most kids in hindsight, looking back, they always thank their parents for not allowing them to damage themselves as much as they could have.”
This then opened a discussion about giving “the talk” to his kids. He admitted that he checks if his daughter Deyjah is still a virgin by taking her to the gynecologist every year. Based on his story, it seems like he’s been doing this since she was a minor.
“So it’s this one time we go, I think this might have been after her 16th birthday. This is what we do… Usually like the day after the party she’s enjoying her gifts. I put a sticky note on the door: ‘Gyno. Tomorrow. 9:30,’” he said. After Deyjah’s check-up, T.I. would ask the doctor to check if her hymen is still intact.
“I’m like, ‘Deyjah, they (the doctor) want you to sign this so we can share information. Is there anything you would not want me to know? See, doc? No problem.’ And so then they come and say, ‘Well I just want you to know that there are other ways besides sex that the hymen can be broken like bike riding, athletics, horseback riding and just other forms of athletic physical activity.’ So I say, ‘Look doc, she don’t ride no horses, she don’t ride no bike, she don’t play no sports. Just check the hymen please and give me back my results expeditiously,” T.I. said before proudly announcing that his daughter is still a virgin at 18.
Not to judge T.I.’s parenting, but checking your daughter’s hymen yearly is intrusive AF. He’s obviously subscribed to the archaic belief that having a “broken” hymen is a sign that a woman is sexually active. When in reality, it can happen in multiple ways as already explained by his doctor. Some girls are also born without a hymen or have a small hymen tissue. Plus, not all females have the same vaginas so it can be difficult for doctors to really tell if someone has had sex or not by just looking at the hymen.
Bottomline: It’s simply a body part, not a signifier of a woman’s virginity. It’s also sexist because no one checks if a man is a virgin, and if they do start having sex, they are applauded. Many women are still held to a certain standard that they should be “pure.”
What’s more concerning is that T.I. has a younger daughter and it’s likely that he’ll do the same once she’s a teen. Seriously, he can just educate them on safe sex like a normal parent, not force them to abstain and pressure his young girls to go to the OB-GYNE to prove their virginity. It’s their decision if they want to have sex or not.
Anyway, T.I. said Deyjah is off to college and we hope she can educate herself further without her dad keeping a close eye on her. We also want T.I. to rethink his boundaries as a dad.