This may contain strong language, sexual content, adult humor, and other themes that may not be suitable for minors. Parental guidance is strongly advised.
Let’s talk about sex education.
No, I don’t mean another anatomy lesson on the parts of the vagina and the penis, and where babies come from. Neither is it just about where to get contraceptives to practice safe sex.
Here in predominantly Catholic Philippines, our sex education revolves around reproductive systems and pregnancies. We are taught that sex is a procreative act, not something anyone should enjoy casually. And when someone does engage in casual sex, it’s not a give-and-take situation. Meaning the guys are the only ones enjoying the act, leaving the woman orgasm-less.
Why does this happen? For one, women don’t know how to achieve climax, and sometimes their partners—mostly men—don’t know how to get them to that point either. It’s like that scene in Sex Education where one of the girls complained about not orgasming and faking it in all of her sexual encounters.
If you ask us, that’s something you should learn in a sex ed class. That’s why it was refreshing to see a tweet thread of videos featuring Kelly Grove, a sexual health coordinator for the Center for Health Advocacy and Awareness.
Kelly’s explanations are basically about how the vulva works, where the G-spot is, why the clitoris should be stimulated, and why simply penetrating a vagina isn’t always considered sex. Let’s break down some of these topics.
The vulva is the area outside of the vagina. It includes organs such as the labia (labia majora and labia minora), clitoris, the opening of the urinary canal, and the opening of the vagina. The clit is an important part because it’s associated with vaginal orgasm. “Most of your clitoris is internal. It’s about four inches across,” Kelly says, adding that it’s important to stimulate the entire vulvar area to achieve an orgasm.
Likewise, penetrative intercourse (using fingers, genitals, or a sex toy) can also get the job done by stimulating the G-spot, described “as a sensitive area of the anterior wall of the vagina believed by some to be highly erogenous and capable of ejaculation.” According to Clue, many aren’t 100 percent sure where the G-spot is located. But Kelly’s estimate is about 1.5 to two inches into the vagina and can be felt on the “roof.”
Part 3: Erotic Areas/ Importance if foreplay! pic.twitter.com/3a8VTTeMVs
— jordan☥ (@jordannjust) April 23, 2019
You might also be wondering why you’re having a hard time orgasming during vaginal sex. Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong with you. “A vast majority of women don’t orgasm through penetration,” says Kelly. This means most of them need oral and manual stimulation on the clit, which is literally an organ that’s meant to give women orgasms.
If your partner thinks it’s too much work and takes too long to stimulate your clit, tell him to hang out with DJ “I don’t give oral” Khaled instead. Jokes aside, women have several other erogenous zones their partners can explore like the lips, breasts, and inner thighs. Kelly defines sex as “a stimulation of genitals for pleasure” so simple penetration isn’t even considered as such, especially when women aren’t gaining pleasure from it.
You hear that, guys? Do better. (That last part may or may not be a euphemism for sex.)
Anyway, the next time someone offers to give sex education, ask the important questions regarding female orgasms and pleasure. As you can see, it really is more than just—to quote Arya Stark—sticking the pointy end at certain places.
Art by Tricia Guevara
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