• Culture
    Culture
    Filipino actors Bridgerton

    Get to know the Filipino actors in ‘Bridgerton’

    pura luka vega chappell roan church

    Matched her freak! Pura Luka Vega performs Chappell Roan’s ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ at ‘Church’

    AI and deepfake porn is a form of sexual assault—and we need to talk about it

    AI and deepfake porn is a form of sexual assault—and we need to talk about it

    • Women
    • Queer
    • Politics
    • Environment
    • Food
  • Style
    Style
    Pond's serums

    These night serums are your new solutions for radiant, glowing skin

    5 original Filipino fragrance brands to check out

    5 original Filipino fragrance brands to check out

    Here’s where you can get unique, one-off accessories—designed by you

    • Fashion
    • Beauty
    • Space
    • Shopping
  • Entertainment
    Entertainment
    Filipino actors Bridgerton

    Get to know the Filipino actors in ‘Bridgerton’

    pura luka vega chappell roan church

    Matched her freak! Pura Luka Vega performs Chappell Roan’s ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ at ‘Church’

    charlie’s angels totally spies!

    Our favorite onscreen spies, from Austin Powers to ‘Totally Spies!’

    • Celebrities
    • TV & Movies
    • Music
  • Life+Money
    Life+Money
    Single woman adopts baby

    Forming a family: When a single woman adopts a baby

    painting of baby

    A mother-to-be’s survival guide

    Navigating a friend breakup that has no bad blood

    It’s no one’s fault: When a friendship naturally runs its course

    • Career & Money
    • Parenting & Relationships
    • Sex & Health
    • Astrology
    • Travel
  • Inquirer.net
  • Lifestyle
Reading
How do you do it: A safe sex guide for the LGBTQ+
ShareTweet
In Queer
5 min read

How do you do it: A safe sex guide for the LGBTQ+

By Eternity Ineson June 27, 2020
Share

For LGBTQ+ people, the Philippines’ sex education program is inadequate. Most modules are hetero-centered discussions that completely ignore LGBTQ+ identities. Although the Department of Education passed a policy last 2018 on a comprehensive sexual education program that seemed to cover all the bases, implementation in schools was still rocky. The belief that talking about sex will encourage more promiscuous behavior makes the topic still taboo for people.

But times are changing and people are becoming more sex-positive and more well-versed in how exactly multi-dimensional sex is. As more and more countries and cultures open their doors to LGBTQ+ people, we also have to face the fact that the community needs proper sex education too, especially for the young kids who are just coming to terms with their sexuality.

Although there’s a lot of online references, queer sex is extremely fetishized by people who don’t know any better so there’s a risk that search results will lean towards the porn type, which isn’t always helpful. So, to guide and inform the people who are just starting out or for those “veterans” who may need a refresher here’s a basic, gender-inclusive guide for safe LGBTQ+ sex. 

Consent

Consent, the act of mutually agreeing to participate in any kind of sexual activity, should be the foundation of any sexual encounter. Even simple gestures like hand-holding or hugging should only be done after an enthusiastic “yes” from the receiver. Consent is a crucial step in sex but it doesn’t have to be a buzzkill. It can be as simple as asking “are you okay with this?” before taking anything further. 

You also have to remember that getting consent to do this one specific thing doesn’t mean securing consent for any and all sexual activities until the end of time. Make sure to regularly check in with your partner. Aside from making them feel safe and respected, checking in at different stages will allow you to gauge if they are enjoying themselves. 

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI)

While sex is a pleasurable and magical thing, it does come with  risks. Worldwide, STIs are a prevalent health problem, but in the Philippines, the most common ones are syphilis, human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes simplex virus (HSV) and HIV infections. According to the HIV/AIDS and ART Registry of the Philippines, youth aged 15-24 make up 32 percent of reported HIV cases. 

Like sex talk, people approach conversations about STIs with shame, but most can be easily managed or treated with prescribed medication and antibiotics. It’s when symptoms are undiagnosed and untreated that STIs present a real problem. Some ways you can prevent an STI are frequent testing, vaccinations and correct use of condoms, gloves and dams, among others. 

Now, to the task at hand. There is no single right way to have sex. The broad spectrum of gender identity means that individuals can decide what sex means for them and they can even choose not to have sex at all. But these safety precautions are recommended for any person having sex with another person, no matter the sexual and gender identity. 

Penetrative sex

Penetrative intercourse is the act of inserting a body part or a toy inside someone’s vagina or anus. One of the best ways to ensure safer penetrative sex is to use a condom. Use a fresh condom for any sexual activity and with new sexual partners. Condoms also have expiry dates so check that too; it’s best not to use that one in your wallet. When you’re using toys like dildos, make sure that the condom is replaced before it’s used on anyone else. You can also use lube to reduce friction, lessening the risk of a condom breaking. Lastly, dispose of a condom properly by securing the base ring during removal, especially if there are bodily fluids, so it won’t come into contact with your partner. 

For people who are into anal sex, It’s not always necessary to douche as the rectum is good at keeping poop from prematurely gushing out. But if flushing out the rectum with water can help you be more comfortable with poop-related concerns, go for it! It’s best to just use water as soaps may act as an irritant to sensitive skin and can even upset the rectum’s natural balance.  For first-timers into anal play, invest in a good lubricant and bring your patience with you. Compared to the vagina, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so it takes a lot of relaxing and foreplay before you can begin without that much pain. 

If you have penetrative sex using your hands, make sure that it has been washed with non-scented soap and water. Short fingernails are recommended in order to prevent cuts. Be careful of using fingers that have open wounds or scratches, especially if they’re not cleaned or sanitized. If you touch yourself, use another hand to touch your partner(s) or you can also go wash up before touching someone else. 

Oral sex

One of the best ways to practice safe oral sex is to make sure that there’s a barrier between the mouth and the genitalia. For penises, condoms usually do the trick. For mouth-to-vulva or mouth-to-anus sex, dental dams, a thin and flexible sheet of latex, are recommended. They are big enough to cover the entire vaginal or anal area. Dental dams naturally stick to the body because of moisture so don’t press it too tightly against the skin to lessen friction. You also have to make sure to keep it in place to lessen the risk of contact. 

Dental dams aren’t widely available in pharmacies and convenience stores but you can always try buying online or at an adult store. Another alternative for dental dams is latex underwear, most of which are available online. If you’re still having a hard time getting ahold of dental dams or latex underwear, cutting a condom into a sheet works too. As with penetrative sex, make sure to dispose of your dental dam, latex underwear and condom-turned-dam properly, making sure that no fluid gets into contact with the body. 

Safe sex with toys

Toys are great for shaking things up and learning new things about yourself and your partner. Unlike vaginas, toys aren’t self-cleaning so one of your biggest concerns should be keeping a toy sanitized. Usually, toys come with their own set of cleaning instructions, which you simply have to follow. Aside from cleaning thoroughly (usually with antibacterial soap and warm water), one of the best rules to follow is to not share sex toys. 

If you’re wondering about how to have safer sex, don’t be afraid to ask questions or to research. When you’re just starting out, there can be a lot of pressure or anxiety around it but remember this: Sex should be consensual, pleasurable and safe for everyone involved. 

 

Art by Dana Calvo

Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Viber

Related stories: 
This online pharmacy delivers sexual health products to your doorstep
Sex tech: The 2020 essential that prioritizes your pleasure
Sex ed museums: The cultural trip you need to try at least once
Follow these feminist subreddits to be more #woke, less sexist

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Share 0

Action Required!

We embed Facebook Comments plugin to allow you to leave comment at our website using your Facebook account. It may collects your IP address, your web browser User Agent, store and retrieve cookies on your browser, embed additional tracking, and monitor your interaction with the commenting interface, including correlating your Facebook account with whatever action you take within the interface (such as “liking” someone’s comment, replying to other comments), if you are logged into Facebook. For more information about how this data may be used, please see Facebook’s data privacy policy: https://www.facebook.com/about/privacy/update.

Accept    Decline

Tags
consentLGBTQoral sexsex toys

Subscribe to our newsletter

Stay in the loop


By subscribing, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

ShareTweetEmailShare
Eternity Ines

Peek This

Pond's serums

These night serums are your new solutions for radiant, glowing skin

Filipino actors Bridgerton

Get to know the Filipino actors in ‘Bridgerton’

pura luka vega chappell roan church

Matched her freak! Pura Luka Vega performs Chappell Roan’s ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ at ‘Church’

AI and deepfake porn is a form of sexual assault—and we need to talk about it

AI and deepfake porn is a form of sexual assault—and we need to talk about it

Preen.ph © 2020. Hinge Inquirer Publications, Inc.
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • HOME
  • ARCHIVES
  • ABOUT US
  • CONTACT US
  • ADVERTISE WITH US
preen zalora zeal
Previous
Hey, bargain hunters⁠, check out this online fashion sale
Next
Fantasy podcasts are giving me new life this quarantine
  • Culture
    • Women
    • Queer
    • Politics
    • Environment
    • Food
  • Style
    • Fashion
    • Beauty
    • Space
    • Shopping
  • Entertainment
    • Celebrities
    • TV & Movies
    • Music
  • Life+Money
    • Career & Money
    • Parenting & Relationships
    • Sex & Health
    • Astrology
    • Travel
  • Inquirer.net
  • Lifestyle
  • Subscribe
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Search
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
fashion fashion news music Culture News movies
See all results

Subscribe to our newsletter

Stay in the loop


By subscribing, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.