It’s been a tough couple of months and, like most of you, isolation in quarantine has got me questioning reality sometimes. It’s been a while since I spent a day in the great outdoors so seeing the world’s tallest bird bolting through a subdivision just got me saying, “same.”
Earlier today, Dino Rivera posted a video on his Facebook of an ostrich running through a street, passing cars and houses. Just another day in a private Quezon City subdivision, I guess.
WHO’S PLAYING JUMANJI THIS 2020? 😱
A runaway ostrich was seen inside a village near Diliman area in Quezon City on Tuesday morning.
— Be An INQUIRER (@BeAnINQUIRER) August 4, 2020
The ostrich on the loose quickly took the internet by storm with netizens editing in iconic tracks like Red Velvet’s “Zoo” and Nicki Minaj’s “Roman Holiday” in the background—perfectly embodying our 2020 mood. This has definitely got us asking all sorts of questions and I’ve listed down some telling signs of what this giant bird’s “escape” means for the rest of us.
#1 We’re living in a simulation
The burning question in everyone’s mind is: Where did the ostrich come from? ICYDK, ostriches don’t live in subdivisions. No ostrich has the income to afford a place in a private subdivision—and well, are you even allowed to keep an ostrich in a residential area (don’t answer that, let’s keep the magic alive, I *know* the answer is going to take this story into a depressing turn)? So why is an ostrich running around in one? Easy, we woke up in a simulation where ostriches have day jobs and earn higher than the local middle class, thus, affording life in the suburban jungle.
#2 The earth is healing
Yes, despite what we’ve previously said about this conversation before, the earth is healing, water is turning pure and animals are once again reclaiming the land. (Ostriches aren’t native here? Mother Nature sure works in mysterious ways.)
#3 Somebody is definitely playing Jumanji right now
There’s nothing else that explains it—we’re living in a game of Jumanji. It’s a perfect explanation. Loose ostrich? Bad dice roll. Heck, we can apply this to the rest of the year. We’re not in the sorry state we’re in right now because of government ineptitude and a fundamental misunderstanding of how to deal with a pandemic and misplaced priorities, someone out there’s just playing a cursed game. Hope they win it soon so life can reset again. (And just like in the Robin Williams movie, not back to normal, but to a better normal.)
Another video featured the ostrich stepping away from the village exit as the guard dropped the gate barrier and jokingly claimed that it could not exit the premises without a gate pass. May we all learn from the feathered beast to follow all quarantine protocols—government officials included.
All jokes aside, since people in the village were reportedly able to restrain it, we hope that the giant bird is safe and finds its way back home (and by home, we mean a place where it’s safe and cared for and not kept illegally).
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