The Preen Team is a hopelessly sentimental bunch. Because of this, we’re releasing a series of essays called “Ugh, Love” where we blurt out our feelings and hopefully make you feel emotional, too.
These days, wanting to tweet “i want a gf” makes me feel like a relic of the past. Typing the words always seemed like an exercise in futility. For the most part, it was just a distress signal that I knew wouldn’t summon anything other than self-realization that maybe I’m not relationship-averse. But in the age of social media AUs published through Twitter threads, I couldn’t help but be one of the hopeless romantic schmucks who were holding out hope that I could get a cute confession from one of my moots. Now, it’s a different story.
My stan Twitter TL used to be flooded with sapphics yearn-tweeting (I made this word up) and manifesting for a girlfriend. Then, there came a time when people actually started getting together through Twitter replies. One person would jokingly/hopefully reply to their moot “Me too. maybe we should date” and the OP would say, “Okay. wait. are you serious?” Modern-day love stories were unfolding before my eyes and I was the poor bystander who was left thinking, “Right in front of my salad?” Heck, even the moot I was heavily crushing on (my friend told me that it was very obvious) got themself a girlfriend out of nowhere.
i think If Girlfriends were Real i’d have One By now
— want a gf (@plsfindmeagf) March 28, 2021
But all of that happened two years ago. I can’t remember the last time I saw someone else tweet “i want a gf,” so single little me is wondering where everyone else has gone. Are they all busy romancing their partners? Is the “catchphrase” passé? What better way to find the answer to my burning question than visit one of the pillars of our community, @plsfindmeagf?
girl Begging For a gf on Twitter , Another Girl who retweets But doesn’t Dm
— want a gf (@plsfindmeagf) February 28, 2021
@plsfindmeagf started churning out painfully relatable tweets in July 2019. The page is run by Kiki, Twitter user @m1cr0w4ve. They’re still tweeting bangers like “girl Begging For a gf on Twitter , Another Girl who retweets But doesn’t Dm” that continue to rake in thousands of likes and replies that range from “same bestie” to “be MY gf.” Kiki shares with me that they’ve had a number of interesting interactions using the account. Their favorite? When one of their crushes, former model and content creator Taylor Allard replied to one of their tweets, “hello . I would like to be your gf?” Kiki DM’ed them that they were too young at the time and Allard sweetly wished them luck on their GF-finding journey.
— want a gf (@plsfindmeagf) July 28, 2019
If you closely followed the account, you might be thinking, “Wait. Didn’t they say that they had a GF?” You didn’t dream that up: In a now-deleted tweet in 2020, Kiki shared that they were in a relationship. But sadly, the couple broke up in March this year after 11 months of dating. Their search for a GF, though perhaps on pause, continues.
The “i want a GF” community seems to be alive and kicking, so how come I still don’t have a GF I did a Twitter search to make sure that people still do in fact tweet the magic sentence. Well, perhaps it’s because a lot of people have moved on to using derivatives. One of my personal favorites goes something like “looking for a girlboss so I can marry into her empire.” Or perhaps a number of the gals back in the day have gone down the yearner for potential GF to MILF hunter (in spirit) pipeline, trying their luck elsewhere.
happy Mother’s day…. to The single moms Heyyy
— want a gf (@plsfindmeagf) May 11, 2020
Either way, I’m just glad that this entire endeavor confirmed for me that I’m not the only lonely gay left on the planet. Maybe I subconsciously started writing this essay to convince myself that there isn’t something wrong with me or to try to blame something for my lackluster love life. But if I’m just giving off emotionally unavailable vibes, it isn’t something I can’t blame on Twitter community behavior. I have a ton of other maybes but that’s really part of the problem, too. In love, self-assurance goes a long way.
Art by Pammy Orlina
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