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Our stray thoughts while watching the new trailer of ‘Cinderella’ starring Camila Cabello
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Our stray thoughts while watching the new trailer of ‘Cinderella’ starring Camila Cabello

Billy Porter is serving, why is James Corden here, and other important topics

By Zofiya Acostaon August 4, 2021
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We’ve got yet another “Cinderella” adaptation on our hands, folks. This time, it’s not a Disney reboot but a musical adaptation produced by Columbia Pictures and Fulwell 73 starring Camila Cabello in her first acting debut. Written and directed by Kay Cannon, who wrote the “Pitch Perfect” movies, “Cinderella” is coming out in September. 

Aside from Cabello, the new “Cinderella” also stars Billy Porter as the movie’s version of fairy godmother (Fab G, the genderless fairy godparent), Idina Menzel as the stepmother, Pierce Brosnan and Minnie Driver as the king and queen, Missy Elliot as the town crier, and James Acaster, Romesh Ranganathan, and James Corden as the mice/footmen.

As a full-fledged princess fan, I’ve got a few thoughts about the new flick:

  • Even though the 2015 Disney remake would be an obvious comparison to make, the trailer is giving me more 1997 “Cinderella” with Brandy mixed with 2004 “Ella Enchanted” with Anne Hathaway. The former is especially relevant: both Cinderellas are played by successful solo singers (Cabello and Brandy) and have larger-than-life fairy godparents (Billy Porter and our lord and savior Whitney Houston, may she rest in peace). As for the latter, it seems like the movie is going to be self-aware, if we have the “rich people balls” joke to go by.
  • That is to say that however this turns out, I think it would still be at least more interesting than the 2015 “Cinderella,” which was very much wonder bread: the musical.
  • God, I love that Billy Porter is in so many things just being the loudest and queerest. There’s not a lot that I would thank Ryan Murphy for, but bringing into the mainstream the stars of “Pose” is one thing that would make me hesitate before sending him to the guillotine. (Eat the rich + all his crimes against humanity a.k.a. created Will Schuester in “Glee”)
  • MISSY ELLIOT IS IN THE HOUSE
  • Hello, what are James Acaster and Romesh Ranganathan doing here? This is the last thing I would’ve expected to see a stray Acaster in, much less Romesh. Very glad my British boys are doing Hollywood but also very, very confused. Romesh sings?
  • BTW, not to be a white man’s wh*re but James Acaster can get it forever.
  • Someone needs to wrestle musical movies away from James Corden’s clutches. I sat through him in “Into The Woods” without a complaint, but “Cats,” “Prom,” and now this? Jail.
  • I don’t think we’ve ever gotten a big belting number from the evil stepmother before, so I’m excited to see what Adele Dazeem herself is going to do.
  • I have to say, I didn’t expect Cabello to have comedy chops, but she seems to be serving it in the trailer.
  • ONCE AGAIN MISSY ELLIOT IS IN THE HOUSE
  • Now that Camila Cabello is Cinderella (and Chloe Bailey is Ariel in “The Little Mermaid” reboot), I’m going to need the other pop girls to be fairy tale princesses too. Aurora Grande, anyone? Rapun-ormani? 
  • Can we talk about Billy Porter’s getup? S-t-u-n-n-i-n-g
  • I’m sorry but it kinda seems like Nicholas Galitzine as the prince is going to continue the long legacy of boringly handsome fairytale princes. Cute but I’m getting nothing!
  • You know another live-action fairytale movie this is reminding me of? The “Beauty and the Beast” reboot with Emma Watson, specifically the parts about her being a female inventor. IDK, the whole businesswoman angle could be cute but it also screams a li’l too much tedious performative feminism for me. I guess I’m just tired of this impulse modern reboots have to “improve” on the “unfeminist” aspects of the original stories by turning the heroine into a #girlboss. Stop listening to pop culture nerds lazily dishing out hot takes on the problematic parts of their childhood movies without actually engaging with and analyzing the content, Hollywood! Yes, I know the irony in me saying that.
  • I hope the stepmother is evil. Since it’s Idina Menzel, she’s probably complex and redeemable or whatever (the trailer sure seems like that’s the case), but I love the utter campiness of an evil stepmother.

 

Header photo screengrabbed from the trailer

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Zofiya Acosta
Zofiya, editor, cat parent, and Very Online™️ person, has not had a good night’s sleep since 2016. They love movies and TV and could spend their whole life talking about how 2003’s “Crying Ladies” is the best movie anyone’s ever made.

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