Welcome to Ask Poppy! I’m Poppy, your go-to girl for all of life’s woes. And when I say ALL, I MEAN IT. I’m not an expert on anything except maybe for being me, which makes me totally qualified to do this.
In a few weeks’ time, I will reach a milestone in my earthly existence. I will be in my mid-30s soon. However, I feel like my life is going nowhere. I feel stagnant, unlucky, with regret, angry, and hopeless.
I don’t know where to start but I think the misery I have today goes back to the time when we were treated as second-class members by the family of my father. Despite the service we rendered to them when I was young, they refused to help me study in college. Since my father’s livelihood will never afford a college education, I expected that they will help me.
I tried not to play the blame game now that I got old without a college diploma. I did my best and find ways to send myself to college but I was not that lucky. I tried hard to forgive and forget. But when I face the reality of getting limited jobs or never land a job due to the fact that I did not finish my education , I can’t help but remember the bias I felt from my grandparents. I think that this will not happen if they generously extended their helping hand during the time I needed them.
Now, I am totally clueless where my life is going, though I’ve spent my time fighting for my immediate family against those who would oppress them. Now that they are settled, I am trying to figure out how I will fight my own battle.
Thank you for giving time to read my angst in life. This helps me release the stress.
—Cancerian in Crisis
Hello, Cancerian in Crisis!
I’m going to call you CC from here on out because it reminds me of Gossip Girl. LOL wala lang. I’m glad that you found a way to get rid of the bad juju in the past. It’s always comforting to release all that stress building up inside of you. Writing is such a lifesaver.
CC, I feel like your life is a crazy roller coaster ride. A lot of oppression and prejudice which caused you harm. And now, you’re still recovering. You deserve this moment to just sit back and look forward. I mean, you have had quite a past, dude. Your grandparents are biased AF; you can’t get a proper job because you got no diploma; and you’re confused about everything.
Like, yeah, we’ve all been there to some extent. But all of your problems—everything that is currently revolving around you, these planets and moons going by their own axes, they’re all there because that’s how it goes. These problems are only here to make you stronger, better, leaner, faster, etc.
Hey, do you like playing video games? Naturally, when you start a new game, you’re like this blank canvas—you know nothing about this game and its world. You start inexperienced and the game gives you a sort of tutorial, teaching you which buttons to smash and how to move about in this brand new world that you are in. After that brief relief, you’re then in the game. You move forward and you fight using that teensy bit of knowledge that you learned from the start. Of course, it doesn’t actually teach you everything. As you go along, you learn.
But first, you must die.
It’s in death that you learn how to play the game well. Games are nothing but computer programs. In the early days, some basic programming were involved, which meant that you have these enemies that exist in patterns.
This is what makes video games familiar, CC. It may be out of this world or something that is hyperrealistic (as in the case of VR games), but it sucks you in, making you feel like you are actually living in these worlds.
All I’m saying is that these things are here to make your life a whole lot better.
As a young girl who is very much into video games, I would always see these strategy guides being sold right next to my favorite super nerdy magazines. I was always tempted to purchase one, hoping to easily navigate the game I was playing back then. But then I realized, that it’s just some form of cheating. I’m not always able to finish the game, there are a few games that I have given up and are now gathering dust up in the shelf. But some are just too damn beautiful to not finish. So I push myself harder. Instead of going straight to a boss battle, I find time to do random battles to upgrade my skills and armory. That way, when I finally careen towards the boss battle, I’ll be effing ready.
It’s never too late to go back to your studies, CC. Nola Ochs is the world’s oldest college graduate and also the oldest recipient of a master’s degree. She started college in 1930, but then had stop when she started to take care of her family. After her husband died in the early `70s, she went back to school but it wasn’t until 2007 that she finally earned her degree. You can always learn something even when you’re pushing 30. I mean, 30 is still young! Why the hell do you feel old?
I mean, I get it, I feel old din naman, but then I feel like I’m aging nicely and there are things that I wasn’t able to do before that I can do now. Don’t feel sorry for yourself that you didn’t get that degree or that you’re not getting great job offers. Take this and fuel your drive to success. I mean, really rev it up. Push the gas pedal as in sagad. MOVE FORWARD and GO BY.
I think what’s blocking you from moving forward is that you’re worrying too much. If you stack up all that worrying with your lack of confidence and nega attitude, then you’re just attracting more nega towards you. You’re feeling terrible because you’re telling yourself that you feel terrible. When you wrap yourself in this blanket called “I’m so sorry that I’m me,” it will become suffocating.
You can really do it, CC. You can do it if you put your mind and heart to it. If you have a proper access to the Internet, I recommend taking up online classes. If you want something that is based on your skills, TESDA has free online courses that can prepare you for the proper job that you want. Also, my friends think that Coursera is the sh*t. This site partners with some of the top universities around the world to create free online courses on a variety of subjects. Think of something that you want to be better at CC and go learn it to improve your knowledge.
Also, for someone who can write in a decent manner, you can definitely find something online that can help you earn a bit. Of course, I’m not saying that your writing is perfect, but you can easily learn that by brushing up your English lessons. Strunk and White, baby.
You’re young, CC. Remember that you don’t always have to feel down and be all whiny and angsty. You can achieve more if you start honing your skills and stop feeling bad about the life you had lived.
Kaya mo yan, bro.
Got a question for Poppy? From love and relationships to weird questions you dare not ask even your psychologist, Poppy is ready to answer them all. Send in your questions to [email protected] or post your question over Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #AskPoppy, and you just might get the answer you are looking for.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.