When I started dating my current boyfriend, I stopped caring about so-called “monthsaries.” We didn’t even have an exact anniversary date for two years. But just a few months ago, he suggested that our official anniversary is actually on Valentine’s Day. I cringed at the thought of how cliché it was.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the mushiness of Valentine’s Day. I still find it cute when people surprise their significant others on this day. However, if I were to choose an anniversary date, it definitely wouldn’t be on Feb. 14.
This aversion probably started in high school. I would hear my classmates saying that they want their suitors to ask them on any 14th of the month so their monthsaries would fall on Valentine’s Day. Some of them would really ask (maybe demand) the suitors to be their official boyfriends on a 14th. Oh, and don’t get me started on the number of new couples after our V-Day prom.
It felt too planned. Like people only wanted a V-Day monthsary or anniversary for the novelty of it. I know many of them are genuine and happened at . But personally, I developed an aversion for it because I thought, “If I’m going to have an anniversary with someone, it’s not going to fall on a Hallmark holiday. I want it to have its own special day.”
Plus, I observed that some of my classmates who had Valentine anniversaries didn’t really last long. Apparently, there’s also a study that says couples tie the knot on “gimmick dates” end up in divorce. Not to mention that a previous boyfriend and I actually broke up on Valentine’s Day. Yeah, it’s probably cursed.
Fast forward to the present, my boyfriend explained why we became official on Valentine’s Day (almost) three years ago. It was our first legit date—we planned out where to eat dinner and get milk tea, we dressed up nicely just because, and he even asked my mom for permission to take me out (which is a big deal). He even gave me and my family pastries from Bulacan! Although he never asked, that was probably the closest we had to a boyfriend-girlfriend proposal because of our schedules. (I was still doing my thesis while he was busy #adulting.)
After several NO’s and whining, I finally agreed to having a set anniversary date for the two of us. For a couple who hates clichés, this was top-tier rom-com levels of cringe for both of us. But heck, what can we do? I guess we fall under the “just happened spontaneously” category. We still laugh at how ironic it is, honestly.
When I decided to write this story, I thought I was going to hate on Valentine’s Day anniversaries from start to finish. But I realized that with so many stressful things happening in the world, a little cheesiness and cliché don’t really hurt, and it doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture. It actually gives you something to hold on to when things go awry—at least that’s what I think.
So to whoever’s celebrating their anniversaries tomorrow, I hope you make the most of it and find a nice date spot. Unless it rains, then you have to improvise your V-Day plans a bit.
Art by Lara Intong
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