While I know there’s a debate among devoted NBA fans on whether Steph Curry’s name truly belongs among the all-time big leagues in NBA history, I think we can all agree that, his skills as a basketball player aside, the man is an amazing dad and a sweet husband. As the proud son of “an incredible and fiercely principled woman,” the husband of “a successful business owner and the most amazing mother,” and the father of two wonderful daughters and a son, Steph recently explored how his relationship with his family has affected his views on gender equality in an essay he wrote in light of Women’s Equality Day. Published on The Players Tribune, the essay entitled “This is Personal” touched on several things; the essence of which, we underscored below. So men, especially dads and husbands, make sure you take some notes.
Do not limit your daughter’s choices
In the essay, the athlete opened with an anecdote of his eldest daughter claiming she wants to be a “basketball player cook”—a combination of her parent’s careers. While Steph said being looked up to as parents is a blessing, he’s aware it might not last. (As he pointed out, before that, Riley’s choice alternated between makeup artist and horseback rider). But, he’s also aware that her daughter will eventually make up her mind; maybe not long now. “Riley [is] arriving at that age where she’s really starting to come into her own as a person.” Ultimately, when that day comes, he’s all for just supporting her. “I want our girls to grow up knowing that there are no boundaries that can be placed on their futures. I want them to grow up in a world where their gender does not feel like a rulebook for what they should think, or be, or do. And I want them to grow up believing that they can dream big, and strive for careers where they’ll be treated fairly.”
Why closing the gender pay gap is crucial
Steph believes support doesn’t end with letting his daughters be able to freely choose their profession. More than that, he believes it’s everyone’s responsibility to create a world where women are treated fairly in the workplace—including how much they are paid. “I think it’s important that we all come together to figure out how we can make [closing the pay gap] possible. Not just as “fathers of daughters,” or for those sorts of reasons.” He also stressed the importance of winning this battle for equality as soon as possible. “Every day—that’s when we need to be working to close the pay gap in this country. Because every day is when the pay gap is affecting women. And every day is when the pay gap is sending the wrong message to women about who they are, and how they’re valued, and what they can or cannot become.”
On inclusion and the importance of women’s voices
Citing his experience of hosting a basketball camp for girls, Steph shared how, other than getting to know these wonderful girls, it was special because it was a chance to shift people’s perspectives. “When someone sees an NBA player is hosting a camp, now, you know—maybe they won’t automatically assume it’s for boys. And so eventually we can get to a place where the women’s game, it isn’t “women’s basketball.” It’s just basketball. Played by women, and celebrated by everyone.”
He said he was amazed by the girls not just on court, but off-court too. During a Q&A session between the girls and successful women in sports and business, he said he was struck by the level of maturity the young girls showed. He noted how a 14-year-old asked if, for instance she’s in a business meeting where she’s the only woman, and has a great idea, “Would she think twice about how to convey the idea? Would she switch up how she worded things, or her body language, or her tone of voice, based on the gender imbalance of her workplace?” He said, “Questions like hers—those really are the questions that young women continue to have to ask about the workplace in 2018. And that’s because it’s still so deeply ingrained in them, even in 2018, that inequality is just a thing you have to come to expect.” He confessed that was a really powerful moment for him. “It was a satisfying feeling, to know we had put these girls in this position where they could connect with some role models, share their experiences and their ideas, and really just hoop, and be themselves—and feel like the main event.”
In the battle for equality, the way you raise your son is just as important as the way you raise your daughter
Earlier this summer, Steph and his wife Ayesha gave birth to their first son, Canon. Steph revealed: “One of the things that has been most on my mind, since then, is the idea of what it means now to raise a boy in this world.” He admitted that he was aware of the existing privilege his son bears as opposed to his daughters. “I already know, just based on his gender alone, that Canon will probably have advantages in life that his sisters can only dream of. How do you make honest sense of that as a parent? What are the values, in this moment, to instill in a son?” It was a dilemma that as a father he just couldn’t ignore. Ultimately, he said the answer is pretty simple:
“I think you tell him the same thing that we told those girls last week at our camp: Be yourself. Be good, and try to be great—but always be yourself; I think you teach him to always stay listening to women, to always stay believing in women, and—when it comes to anyone’s expectations for women—to always stay challenging the idea of what’s right; And I think you let him know that, for his generation, to be a true supporter of women’s equality—it’s not enough anymore to be learning about it. You have to be doing it.”
Art by Marian Hukom
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