Last October, Jessy Mendiola took to Instagram to remind “male friends” not to touch her waist without her consent during photo ops. She finally shared the incident that inspired her to write that controversial post during her guest appearance at Tonight with Boy Abunda.
Jessy revealed she was in a restaurant when someone asked for a photo with her. She said she agreed, but found it inappropriate when the guy suddenly held her without her permission. “Hindi sa waist eh, more of here sa may backside, dito na siya,” she further explained, while trying to reenact the incident with the host, Boy Abunda. She said had he asked for her consent, she would have said no. “I’m sure a lot of girls can relate. Ako kasi pag hindi ako kumportable sa isang bagay sinasabi ko, so sinabi ko sa kanya, sabi ko, ‘Sorry wag kang humawak.’ Kasi pababa na nang pababa eh…”
Boy agreed the move seemed inappropriate after her demonstration. “We have to remember that’s a person’s body that we have to respect. You cannot violate that.” After Jessy clarified her boundaries (She said akbay, or a man putting his arms around her shoulder, is okay for her), the host agreed and added, “That’s clear diba, may respeto. Kasi hindi nangangahulugan, it doesn’t follow that if you’re beside a public figure, you can actually violate the body of the public figure.”
Sadly, the majority of comments show people think the opposite. Bashers and trolls were out for blood, it seems. Some went as far as attack her character and say she doesn’t deserve respect. Others say she was asking for it, because she posts sexy pictures of herself, and because of the way she dresses.
Another popular rhetoric was that she shouldn’t act like such a diva because she’s not that big of a star. Which honestly is so f*cked up. Regardless if there’s any truth to their statement regarding her star status, this argument should not qualify as valid. AT ALL. I mean, this type of thinking is exactly why the #MeToo movement started in the first place. These bashers are basically saying if you’re a nobody, you should just tolerate advances by men or people in power. Let them walk all over you. And then when you’ve made a big enough name for yourself, maybe then, you’ll have the right to say your opinion or voice out your concerns. Maybe.
This prevailing culture and misogynistic ideology at this day and age is so infuriating. No matter an actress or any woman’s status in life, she shouldn’t be subjected to this kind of act. Also, I get that not all women have the same comfort zones. While other actresses are okay with fans touching their waist, not all feel that way. And Jessy clearly setting her boundaries and asking for people to respect them is not “diva attitude.” It’s basic human decency.
Art by Marian Hukom
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