I cannot believe it’s 2017 and we still have to raise awareness about this. Members of the LGBT community aren’t your token friends to make you feel you are a progressive thinker. They aren’t caricatures for entertainment. They are human beings and in the twisted way we’ve messed up so many things, they are a sector of society being unreasonably deprived of rights and discriminated upon.
What’s worst is how they have to put up with the questions and comments about their sexuality every day that are insensitive and even offensive. It’s these microaggressions that make it worse.
So in light of Pride Month, we asked various people on the questions and remarks they are tired of hearing. It’s also a chilling recount of the casual discrimination that they are subjected to.
“I’m bi, so I constantly get ‘But which do you prefer?’ or ‘When was the last time you slept with a girl?’ My sexuality doesn’t have a time limit. I don’t lose my bi card if I haven’t hooked up with both genders every six months. I also get ‘Bisexuals don’t exist’ even from the queer community.”—Elliot Hay
“‘Who is the guy or girl in the relationship?’ The first one is just dumb especially since it’s obvious that the couple are of the same sex. It also reeks of sexism. [I also hate hearing] ‘What about straight people?’ Something good happens to the LGBT community or there’s a huge event for LGBT people and then I hear that. There’s also ‘Those laws are heterophobic.’”—Rick De Castro
“It’s not really insensitive but I realized that when there’s a girl waiting in the hospital emergency room with a guy, automatically, people assume they’re in a relationship. And it’s met with approval. I feel a tinge of hurt knowing my own love story will not be met with the same acceptance. The reason why it hurts the most even if it was not offensive or insensitive, is that straight people take for granted the fundamental things that come with being in a relationship.”—Peach Chan
“I’m a pansexual who’s blown both men and women. I was asked by a friend: ‘Baka naman di ka pa lang nakakatikimng d*ck?'”—Yvonne Chan
“This is particular to trans girls like, ‘Have you done the operation?’ (referring to sex reassignment surgery), ‘What is your real name?’ (as if I’m faking my current name), ‘Galing! You look like a real woman’ (Am I a fake one?), and ‘Are you sure you’re trans? Isn’t this just a phase?’”—Janlee Dungca
“‘So tibo ka?’ Or the limited implications of this outdated Filipino term that only serves to paint the lesbian as butch ‘Sayang ka,’ as if being a feminine lesbian is such a waste of genes and choice and the assumption that we can’t appreciate men just because we’re lesbian. Like, hello, if the world blessed us with the likes of Chris Pine or Oscar Isaac, we thank it, not shame it.” —Chryssa Celestino
“One time I was out with my friends and there’s this guy in the group that was surprised about my sexual preference and for the rest of the night he was going on and on about how it was so unfair that he was the last to know about it. And that he’s so offended that I didn’t tell him right away when I met him. That annoyed me considering that my sexual preference shouldn’t be something to be discussed about in full detail and a requisite to be someone’s friend.”—Jean Torres
“‘You’re bi, so you can date men and women. So it’s okay for you to have a girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time?’ Also, ‘You’re sinful,’ along with ‘God only made man and woman’ and finally, ‘Just be straight. Your beauty’s a waste.'”—Millicent Signo
“Being told ‘Sayang ka‘ and all the ‘It’s not love you feel, it’s lust’ b*llshit is the worst.'” —Jamie Ogalesco
“‘I don’t want to sleep next to you, I might [become gay too.]’ Or, ‘I don’t want to sleep next to a gay person because they molest people.'” —Islie Dela Guardia
“As a bisexual, something I’m tired of hearing people assuming I’m a lesbian when I actually swing both ways.”—Shane Vergara
“I find it insensitive when you are expected to be flamboyant when you say you’re gay. You can choose to express yourself however you want, no matter your sexual orientation or preference. I also hate hearing how people use religion to limit what homosexuals can or cannot do.”—Patrick Segovia
“‘So, what’s in between your legs?’ And there’s also ‘What about the money for sex change?’ I also heard ‘I don’t think I can ever get used to your name’ and ‘You’ll always be a girl to me.’”—Nic Castañeda
“Lately what irks me is when people introduce me to others, they’d be like, ‘Meet Jeffrey. He’s gay.’ For me, for this to be acceptable, that person must be really very close to me. Coming out was hard for us, so outsiders should not just treat it like a mere identifier. Another thing is the use of ‘bakla’ or ‘bading’ or any synonym to insult others. There is nothing offensive about being gay. At most it is sad to the person who used it. I mean, this dude seriously needs to widen their vocabulary.” —Jeffrey B.