First-time parents aren’t the only ones who can find raising their kids extremely challenging. Does parenting get easier in time? Maybe it does—if you allow yourself to accept that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent or child. Author and editor for Creative Child Magazine Rebecca Eanes once wrote, “So often, children are punished for being human. Children are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes, yet we adults have them all the time!”
What’s more important than having a checklist of accomplishments for your kids (although positive reinforcement does have its merits) is to check if you’re coming from a place of patience and understanding when you’re offering guidance and practicing discipline. It’s easier said than done but we’ve got a list of Instagram accounts to help you deal with your parenting woes. It takes a village to raise a child and the same goes for training parents.
The Mom Psychologist
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Oh, sibling conflict! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It's unavoidable and a natural part of any relationship, but during these pandemic days, the conflict can seem never ending. My house is no exception (I have a 2 and 3-year old by the way)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, I have seen huge progress in my children's conflict because 1) Jayla's (the 2-year old) language has improved and 2) They have some tools in their toolbox on what to do/say during conflict. One of the tools we reinforce about 1000X a day (so exhausting) is to use your words to tell the other person what you want or need. In order for them to do so, we have to give them those words during moments of conflict (like # 4 and 9) and we have to coach them on this throughout the day. This isn't a one and done type of process.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I think it's important to keep in mind that as parents, all we can do is keep a positive attitude, draw boundaries when needed, and coach them through these moments as best as we can. We won't always know what to do and say but keeping a neutral perspective and helping them learn how to communicate and problem solve with each other is a good place to start. We won't always have the energy or emotional bandwidth to do this and that's ok, too. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There's so much to say about sibling conflict and I'll keep expanding on this here, but I hope these lines are helpful in getting started. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Give me a 🤎 if you're struggling with this at the moment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Don't forget to register for my upcoming Discipline Masterclass on Saturday, August 15th at 10:30 AM PST if you're struggling with this right now. Class includes bonus 40-minute training on how to manage our parenting triggers and stress during these times. Link in bio to register.
Dr. Jazmine McCoy is a clinical psychologist and educator whose goal is to help overwhelmed and stressed parents find peace both within themselves and in their family. “I am a mom of two busy young girls and I know how stressful sibling conflict, tantrums, not listening and setting limits can be!” she shares on her website.
Apart from offering online parent coaching services and uploading videos on her YouTube channel, she also posts informational cards on reflective parenting on The Mom Psychologist Instagram. With “10 Things to Say Instead of ‘Don’t Hurt Your Brother/Sister,’” she provides tips on helping your child find the right words to tell another person what they want or need. Another favorite of ours is “Top 10 questions preschoolers have a hard time answering” which can help you avoid posing questions that might cause your kid to shut down or become defensive. ⠀⠀
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When a friend has a baby, the first question many of us ask is: girl or boy? We get messages about gender from the day we are born—and gender perception affects us even before that! Parents who know they are having a girl describe their baby’s movements in utero as “lively” or “moderate,” while parents of boys tend to describe them as “strong” or “vigorous.” Children absorb and internalize gendered expectations from their family, school, culture and faith community—it’s so pervasive that most of us don’t even notice it. All children get to choose what to wear and what to play with for themselves. 🌈 What toys did you grow up thinking were “just for boys” or “just for girls?” Tell us in the comments! ✨ This post was brought to you by Patreon support. Want more stuff like this? Join us on Patreon and grab our (new!) gender inclusivity poster. Click the link in our profile or go to patreon.com/curiousparenting. We’d love to have you! ⭐️ If you could use this poster, but have limited access to financial resources, please email us. We’d love to help! Follow @curious.parenting for more on supporting ALL the kids in your life. 🌈
Curious Parenting is a community for caregivers that provide resources on empowering children. Believers of discipline without shame and promoting social curiosity, they sell guides and courses on topics such as risky play (which involves exciting activities that put a child at risk of physical injury so they can explore their boundaries) and consent.
You can book a session with parent coach and child empowerment specialist Clementine Foxglove or shop Curious Parenting’s book recommendations. Some of our favorite informative cards on their feed are mini primers on teaching your kids gender inclusive language and a video on building autonomy and trust through diaper changes.
The Learning Basket
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Free download on our site – a guide to Filipino living books for literature, history, and culture, arranged by grade level. Most are available at our #tlbbookshop , and restocking soonest for you all. Bit.ly/TLB-FilipinoLivingBooksList or click on link in profile. 📕 Oh and we also did a video with Gina of @ourlivinglearning where we talked about why Filipino living books and how we use them at home. The video is embedded in the post too. Enjoy! 📗 #homeschoolersph #homeschoolph #charlottemasonph #philippinechildrensbooks #childrensbooksph #freedownload #homeschoolingph #homeschoolph
The Learning Basket (TLB) is a parenting resource hub for parents who want to be hands-on with their children’s development and learning. Run by homeschooling moms Mariel Uyquiengco and Sanne Unson, it offers blog entries on intentional parenting (where a parent plans how they make use of the time they have with their kids). They also have an online bookshop of pre-loved children’s books and conduct parent education workshops.
TLB advocates for supplementing your child’s learning with books on Philippine literature, history, and folk songs. They have a book guide on their website with items that you can download for free. They also share enrichment activities that you can do with your kids, homeschooled or not, such as nature journaling.
Our Mama Village
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Post 1 in a new mini series on imposter syndrome.❤️⠀ ⠀ I remember the first time I realized I what I was feeling was in part imposter syndrome.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I was driving somewhere with my own mom and she said “…I was telling my friend how much of a natural you are at being a mom.”⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I looked at her like she was crazy. I felt so far from being a natural as a mom. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ My baby didn’t sleep well, breastfeeding wasn’t going well, and it was hard to believe I was cut out for motherhood.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I’d scroll through Instagram, look around church, or even others I knew who were a mom and would be sure that they were the ones suited to be a mom… not me.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Imposter syndrome is defined as a collection of feelings of a inadequacy that persist even when you are doing something well. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Many people with imposter syndrome suffer with chronic self doubt and feeling of being a fraud that overrides the ability to be able to notice the good that you are doing.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ If you are feeling imposter syndrome in motherhood here’s a few things to consider:⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ Remembering thoughts aren’t facts. Can you make some space between the way you are thinking and what could possibly be the truth? ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Be mindful of your comparisons to other moms. If you notice yourself going down a deep dark social media hole, stop the scroll. Turn off social media, mute people if you have to.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Treat yourself with compassion. Be so gentle on yourself. Imagine yourself as a friend and think about what you would say to a friend who feels this way.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Remind yourself of where you are doing well. Write this down, speak it, tell a friend about something that you did well in today. If you can’t think of someone get them to tell you. Surround yourself with truths about who you are.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Stay off of google. Before you start to google ask yourself – do I really need another answer from google, or is it possible I’m just seeking information instead of tuning in with what I be love about this situation.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ Please don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you are struggling with this or anything else that is impacting your mental health postpartum. You are not alone. Did you experience this? Put a ❤️ below.
Jessica Grace is a mental health therapist who wants to make sure that other women do not struggle in silence after she got help for the anxiety she experienced after giving birth. With Our Mama Village, she aims to include mental health in discussions on pregnancy and parenthood.
Among the topics she discusses on her website and Instagram page are tips on dealing with impostor syndrome (when you feel like a fraud because you’re doubting your capabilities) as a new parent, providing support for your child when they don’t want to go to school and relationship building with your kids after an argument. Our Mama Village also provides online courses and guides.
The Asian Parent Philippines
The Asian Parent Philippines started out as a website for modern parents and pregnant moms. They’ve branched out by launching an app where you can track your pregnancy and your baby’s development as well as interact with a community of parents.
You can find memes, TikTok videos and informational cards on their Instagram. They also keep an eye out for local celebrity mom updates. Our favorites from their feed are cards debunking pregnancy myths, breastfeeding positions and ones that are designed to make you laugh.
Art by Dana Calvo
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