Page 96 – Preen.ph

Around this time last year, we were marching. Though the verb isn’t quite accurate—it was pouring, the traffic was impossible, we were shoe-deep in muddied grass and bits of soft, torn-up protest signs and the most we could do in the way of actual movement was trudge forward after 20-minute intervals, an exercise in repetition-turned-temporary-reflex. Not that that mattered considering anything but convenience and comfort and the literal meaning of the word march. Jun. 29 at the Marikina Sports Complex was loud, and the people (it was all about the people) were themselves—partly, completely, parading different permutations of selfhood. The agenda was love as dissent, dissent as love. And though, as in many things, some cracks were visible, the point was we were there and it’s the stories that count.

Also: We were free to gather then. It’s a startling concept these days, a gathering. A year ago, we were free to think about what the Pride March and queer safe spaces meant, and what else needed to change before we could truly call this place a gay-friendly country. (The friendship remains superficial.) We can still do all this now, but not without first fearing for our health, not without first thinking of death as taking on a renewed sense of immediacy or arbitrariness. The practical facts are inescapable, rules are rules (read: some government officials think otherwise): intimacy has been prohibited, and the spaces that run on the deep, momentary bond among strangers have been deemed non-essential.

On June 19, Today x Future (TxF), a fixture in Cubao nightlife, permanently closed. It would’ve celebrated its 12th anniversary this year. The bar, above anything else, was a safe space. “Much of what makes it safe is not just the people who run it, but also those who are in it. There is a shared responsibility to ensure that Today x Future and Futur:st will be spaces that inspire and empower,” says Samantha Samonte, one of the co-founders of TxF and Futur:st.

For more than a decade, the owners and regulars shared a tacit dialogue about community and freedom and sexual identity; it was an institution deserving nothing less than an outpouring of lamentations and personal testimonies in reaction to its closure, and of course a Facebook group where people pretended to be at TxF. “Thank you for letting us be your space, your home where you grew up, fell in love, fell out of love, discovered so much, learned a lot, met so many people we’re sure you hold close until now,” its statement read.

Yet the fact that it closed down despite the unwavering patronage, frequent food service (and occasional pick-ups and deliveries), a brief AV collaboration series called Future Isolations, rent forgiveness from landlords and some help from fundraisers and donations can—as is the case these days—be almost perfectly explained by the pandemic. Still, how to make sense of such a loss? Maybe we can’t; maybe we shouldn’t. Because for now we can only turn to the fact of closure and its many meanings and repercussions, the worst of which is the loss of jobs. But also TxF closing means one less refuge for queer people in a country that sorely needs it, perhaps all the more so during an indefinite period of mandated isolation. “Countless queer people are not out, and are not accepted by their families within the households they’re living in. They’ve had to endure and suppress even more so during lockdown [where] how they are made to feel have been inescapable,” says Samonte.

Months into quarantine, Samonte and her business partners Leah Castañeda and Sharon Atillo did everything they could to keep both businesses afloat, relying in part on the kindness of patrons and strangers alike while exhausting their savings to keep paying their staff the same wages, as the term “non-essential” signaled an end. The owners of these so-called non-essential businesses have had to reconcile the nature of what they did for a living and the communities they’ve built with the immediate effects of a lethal virus. But for those who ran businesses that also served as queer safe spaces, the dilemma seemed not necessarily more complicated, but certainly a lot more far-reaching in its effects. It wasn’t just about not having a place to drink.

“It’s essential to cultivate spaces that naturally allow someone to feel safe and secure. Queer people [have been] experienc[ing] oppression in every shape and form for so long now, and to have a place where they can not only be free to be who they are but also be respected for who they are makes all the difference. It’s what makes them feel at home,” says Samonte, adding that their queer regulars “have always been expressive about their love and support.”

Futur:ist, which its owners describe as TxF’s “baby sibling,” remains open, along with the handful of other Makati bars and restaurants that also serve as safe spaces. As is the case for many of these establishments, 20:20 and XX XX, a bar and club nestled within a sort of tiny compound along Corner Sabio street, have also been resorting to online initiatives to stay alive. They’re participating in panel discussions and fundraisers and holding online streams with their resident DJs and artists. It’s how they’ve been interacting with their community, with many of their regulars often present in the streams.

“Unfortunately, we have not been able to pivot our business into something that generates income during this pandemic so we are depending heavily on how our landlords will charge us rent for the months of April till the time we are allowed to open. As a team, we took the time off to focus on how we can emerge from this unscathed,” says co-owner Anna Ong, who keeps in touch with their promoters and some guests. Their conversations aren’t all too different from the ones we’ve been having with our loved ones in the past months—what things were like before a global health crisis became our reality, what we’ve lost since then, and a constant longing for closeness marred by fear.

“I’ve spoken to some of our regular guests and yes, they do miss our venues. But we all agree that safety comes first—and we all need to be patient and wait for the right time before we get ourselves back on the dancefloor,” says Ong, who, along with her team had initially underestimated how long they were going to have to keep their venues closed. One month was the hopeful estimate, and now here they are, caught off-guard by the amount of time the pandemic is taking away from them. “Three months down and [we’re] still unable to go back to what it used to be.”

When these venues closed, we also lost the “freedom to let loose and interact without fear,” as Ong describes a basic right that has historically been denied to minorities. But it’s not like pre-COVID, homophobia and sexism didn’t exist as these forms of human blindness that need constant dismantling—the need for dissent remains just as crucial, it’s probably just harder to act on that need these days given, partly, the impossibility of closeness and the absence of safe spaces.

But do the implications of its absence make it essential? Here are places that could offer a sense of imperfect connection, solidarity, and security by way of simultaneous anonymity and visibility, things we could use during a time like this—except, of course, we can’t have that now. And though it’s painful (although a privilege, to some extent) to think about what used to be, this pandemic seems to demand that we accept that very few things are essential and that everything changes.

Where do the queer Catholics go?

In 1968 in California, a year before the Stonewall riots, Reverend Troy Perry put up an advertisement for a worship service designed for members of the LGBT community. Twelve people attended the service at Perry’s living room, launching what would soon become the Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC), the first (and oldest) church founded by LGBT people. In 2006, Filipinos joined the global MCC denomination, founding Open Table MCC, a progressive LGBT-affirming church that provides a safe space for LGBTQI+ Christians and supports LGBTQI+ and HIV advocacies.

The Mandaluyong-based church remained busy when quarantine started, digitalizing face-to-face worship services by holding an online service every Sunday, a kind of support group where people could talk about their pandemic experiences. They’ve also continued doing their weekly preaching podcast as well as started holding online classes on SOGIE and SOGIE Oppression. The tolls of shifting to an online platform, especially within a community for which physical proximity deeply mattered, aren’t lost on the church’s attendees. “Many of our members express how they miss being together in our Chapel and the after-worship dinners that we usually have. Safe spaces for LGBTs like our Church are sometimes the only places that LGBTs feel free to be as they are. We have a few people who are still closeted and being in our community gives them a sense of refuge and comfort. It is the only space where they feel accepted and are happy with people who have the same experiences and struggles as they have. It is here that LGBTs can worship, pray and sing…sometimes with their partners or lovers, free from judgment and condemnation,” shares Reverend Joseph San Jose, the pastor of Open Table MCC.

This church’s mere existence feels like a kind of fortunate (and necessary) anomaly—the Philippines is both pre-dominantly Catholic and insidiously intolerant of homosexuality. So where do the queer Catholics go? Reverend San Jose says that because devout Christians who are part of the LGBTQ+ community have been removed from their ministry (or worse, totally excommunicated from their church) for being gay, it makes all the difference to have Open Table MCC. In this church, he explains, people are encouraged “to be critical and to ask the hardest questions” as well as “reclaim and reconstruct their faith and spirituality in ways that are more loving, rational and relational.”

For queer people, part of that means going beyond the commercialized and token-oriented approach to pride, and, as Reverend San Jose says, “see[ing] themselves with their faith as important participants in the struggle for a just and equal world.” The pandemic didn’t exactly take away the solidarity, acceptance, education, and the liberty to worship Open Table MCC offers, but it did drastically alter a freedom that isn’t afforded to many queer people. Worse though, quarantine has further reinforced the toxic beliefs permeating many Filipino households. The complicated questions concerning faith, too, have taken on a new significance: Though for many people, faith can keep them sane during this pandemic, can the same be said about queer individuals living in fundamentalist households?

“Many young LGBTs are currently trapped in homes that have fundamentalist conservative families.”

“Many young LGBTs are currently trapped in homes that have fundamentalist conservative families. One young lesbian started to attend our online Sunday gathering primarily because she is in that situation where her family is conservative and are homophobic. Her only outlet was being part of our online gathering. So there are situations where faith for LGBTs continue to be a source of comfort and hope in difficult times, but there are situations where some LGBTs are trapped in families whose faith causes emotional, mental and even spiritual harm to them,” says Reverend San Jose.

Nobody knows how long this setup will last (and how long some of Open Table MCC’s attendees will have to wait before they can worship in person again), but the pastor thinks that even after quarantine, things won’t be the same—virtual safe spaces will exist alongside their physical counterparts, with many LGBTQIA+ communities and organizations tapping into the potential of the former.

The future of queer safe spaces

Obviously though, the digital revolution didn’t precede the pandemic. And even before we were forced to stay indoors and social gatherings became a dream, we were already headed towards an increasingly digitalized thought economy and sociopolitical landscape. Virtual safe spaces have long existed, and the pandemic has only emphasized their relevance.

MapBeks, an online community of volunteers helping the LGBTQIA+ locate queer safe spaces and HIV facilities in the country, has been particularly busy in the past months, holding a mapping party called LGBTQIA+ Safe Spaces last June 10, hosting free training seminars on mapping, and releasing two new interactive maps called “MapBeks Stories” and “Stories of Discrimination and Bullying” where people can share their personal stories as members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

The pandemic hasn’t really changed MapBeks’ operations, and, despite not getting to hold in-person mapping parties at the moment, their community of volunteers and the people for whom they’ve created their maps continues to be strong. “Despite everything, I have seen a stronger community as everyone is doing their jobs to stay at home. Drag queens [have gone] online to do shows for their friends or better yet just share a good show for others who are alone or lonely. [During] th[is] pandemic, where everyone is anxious and worried or would need someone to talk to or to go to, the LGBT community needs to be there,” says Mikko Tamura, a GIS specialist and the founder of MapBeks.

The point is to let people know that there are queer safe spaces in the country, and then to give them practical information on how these spaces and services can be accessed. In the face of quarantine restrictions, MapBeks highlights both virtual safe spaces and temporary online initiatives helmed by establishments people often frequented before the pandemic. “We try to mainstream these support groups, businesses, and services so people would know that they are there for the community. We hope to provide safeguards to the businesses and services that are currently available,” says Tamura.

And then there’s also visibility. Tamura says that “being on a map is a show of power and evidence of the reality.” Seeing queer-friendly restaurants, bars, clubs, churches, and health facilities mapped out is in itself a form of consolation and representation. It’s good to be reminded that these places exist, and that we could one day go back to them.

The pandemic has given this online volunteer community a lot of work to do, which hints at how the future of queer safe spaces will look: still largely uncertain, but will involve a massive shift to online groups and communities. “Queer safe spaces will continue to grow, but not in the physical sense. We’ll reach out to more LGBT groups in the future [and] in the next couple of months, we will be recruiting more volunteers to help us validate the safe spaces and HIV facilities that we were able to data-mine,” says Tamura.

As for bars, clubs, restaurants, and churches, the near future seems to be especially bleak—at least for now. But the people behind them remain hopeful, meaning they’re working harder than usual, with a vision of a post-pandemic version of safe spaces in mind. “Bars and clubs thrive on closeness and affection. That’s why it’s incredibly challenging to envision the opposite as the ‘new normal.’ However, I also believe that we need to do what we can until we can finally operate the way we want to—to again have that level of physical comfort we all miss. For now, I would rather choose a window of opportunity than not have anything at all,” says Samonte, who’s already expecting and preparing for new safety protocols. (They’re also set to hold an online pride party on Jun. 27.)

The new normal. It wasn’t such a terrible euphemism months ago. Overuse had rendered it meaningless, but I don’t blame anyone for clinging onto the possibility of eventual normalcy. We can’t even say the word “abnormal” to each other. Besides, we can’t be bothered with these terms for too long. The more pressing question seems to be, how do we go from the melancholic we’ve lost so much to the practical what can be done?

“We will definitely need to adjust. The door will be heavily involved with the screening of our patrons to ensure everyone’s well-being. [There will also be] temp checks and perhaps rapid testing if budget allows. QR Code scanning per guest for the collection of accurate information will be a major part of [our] venues. Signs such as ‘keep distance’ and ‘wash your hands’ will be seen. A no-PPE, no-entry policy will surely be in place at our venues. It is unfortunate that we have to have these measures but we must adapt for our survival,” says Ong.

Open Table MCC, on top of enforcing health protocols such as sanitizing before approaching the altar for communion, will be slightly stricter about the number of people who can attend their worship service. “We will not worship the same as we do before even if this becomes allowed. We will ask our members to register or inform us of their intention to attend a Sunday service ahead of time so we can determine how many and who can attend,” says Reverend San Jose. And how exactly would these worship services look?

“During our worship, LGBT people in our church normally hug each other and beso-beso. This will be prohibited. Wearing of masks would be required as long as they are inside the building where our chapel is located.”

I’ve read somewhere that after the pandemic, queer safe spaces will see an upsurge in attendance, owing to the fact that some queer people lack typical support systems at home and as a result seek community in tight-knit social circles or in safe spaces. “When safe spaces open, they may be the first to come running because they have been longing for love, acceptance and authenticity. They miss genuine places and people. It will be a sort of release for them, and I’d be happy to have Futur:st be that place to welcome them back with open arms and plenty of shots, hahaha! This I think will still be the future of queer spaces: Be that place to embrace them. The only difference would is how we will move forward, health and safety-wise,” says Samonte.

What would a post-pandemic 20:20 and XX XX look like, I ask Ong, who answers: “It will look like a scene out of Mad Max.”

Now that lockdown measures have eased up and some companies are requiring their employees to work in their offices, traveling with public transportation currently at limited operations seems like a test of survival. With commuters forced to compete with each other or wait on the road for hours to get a ride, cycling groups began to promote riding bicycles as a sustainable alternative that also allows social distancing.

However, cycling wasn’t received well by the government during the start of the general community quarantine. The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) decided to place a temporary 1.2-meter bike lane along EDSA on June 13 which cycling groups found too narrow and inconsistent to be safe for cyclists. This came after the MMDA took down the temporary bike lanes set up by cycling groups early into the start of GCQ as an initiative to immediately respond to the need for employees to commute to work. Despite the difficulty of convincing the government to set up proper bike lanes, cycling groups stressed the need for them now that more Filipinos are relying on bicycles as a mode of transportation.

Unfortunately, not everyone can afford a bicycle. Carlos Samonte, a candy seller from Makati, saved up his earnings for a bicycle that he’s been dreaming of since the start of quarantine. According to an Inquirer report, Samonte had been frequenting a bike shop and asked the owner if he could buy the bicycle at P2,000 instead of its original price at P4,800 since May 15. The owner found out from the tricycle drivers in their area that Samonte has been walking from his home to Makati to sell candies since tricycle operations stopped during the enhanced community quarantine. Then one day when Samonte passed by to ask about the bicycle again, the bike shop owner decided to give the bicycle to him for free.

While there are some initiatives that provide bicycles for frontliners, this organization drew inspiration from Samonte’s story to provide bicycles, helmets, locks and even raincoats to ensure a safer commute for workers that need to travel. We got in touch with Kristine Hildawa, one of the Project Heads of Project Padyak, to share with us how they’re getting bicycles and accessories to those in need and what you can do to help.

We heard many people started to bike now that transportation is limited in the city. We commend you guys for creating such a thoughtful project that helps several people get to work. Could you let our readers know what Project Padyak is all about?

Project Padyak is an initiative that links bike-helmet-&-lock packages to workers in need of an alternative means of transportation, especially now that common PUV’s are mostly inaccessible.

Because the struggle to keep food on the table has become a heightened concern for so many, Project Padyak decided that every single person whose livelihood is on the line—frontliner or not—would qualify for a package.

We saw that your inspiration for this project came from the article about a bike shop owner giving Tatay Carlos Samonte a free bicycle. How did this story start your project?

The viral video moved us to tears. Tatay Carlos’ reality bothered us for days, especially since we knew that it wasn’t just him. At first, we only wanted to find an organization to possibly donate some money to, but when we realized that there wasn’t a lot we decided we would just start one ourselves.

How did you assemble the Project Padyak team and how big is it now?

The team behind Project Padyak started with just us three siblings! We began our operations [on the] second week of June, and while today the big decisions are still mainly up to us, we have since then attracted like-minded friends to join in and volunteer. Currently, we are composed of 7 people all in all.

Could you give us an estimate of how many bikes and helmets you donated so far and what areas have you already covered?

So far, we’ve delivered a total of ten bikes to beneficiaries living in Pasay, Makati, Manila, Taguig, and Marikina. We are also scheduled to deliver ten more bikes in almost the same areas in the next couple of days. Due to the traffic of messages we get from people in Cavite, we have begun working on a separate team to reproduce our operations there too.

What can you say about the limited infrastructure and policies that make the roads safe for cycling? What were the struggles in promoting biking as an alternative means of transport?

Bikes are eco-friendly, low-maintenance, and cost-efficient. On top of that, because bikes are single-rider, the risk of viral transmission is conveniently lessened. It’s truly a shame that we are not able to maximize bike-use in Metro Manila.

For now, the most Project Padyak can do is to ensure that our beneficiaries have the proper safety gear and that they are briefed on proper bike etiquette (our package includes a pamphlet on biking tips & hand signals).

Any kind of publicity is already a big help really! We always love a follow and a share here and there. But for those interested to take a step further, they can find out how by going through & filling up this form. Thank you!

If you’d like to get to know more about Project Padyak, check them out on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Photo courtesy of Unsplash

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Whenever I hear Diana Ross singing “I’m coming out. I want the world to know. Got to let it show,” I feel giddy and overwhelmed. I ask myself, “Is this what coming out should feel like?” In a perfect world, coming out as a concept shouldn’t exist. In this world where we’re forced to constantly prove ourselves and who we are, coming out feels monumental. It’s something that will have you taking a deep breath before taking the plunge. At 23, I was hoping that coming out to new sets of friends and colleagues would feel as natural as breathing but the reluctance brought by a sense of self-preservation is still there. Deciding to do it and the act itself doesn’t feel like Diana Ross’ disco tracks but a lot of us want to come out even if it’s hard. If love is the place we call home, I want to love myself and be loved for who I am.

For some who have yet to come out (as LGBTQ+, not out of the house), quarantine is starting to feel like the time to finally do it. However, the past few months also highlighted the marginalization of LGBTQ+ folks, especially those who didn’t have financial security prior to the quarantine. With the Philippines under the world’s longest lockdown, more than a hundred days at this point, many in the LGBTQ+ community are vulnerable. Apart from the COVID-19 virus, the Human Rights Watch says they also face threats such as homelessness, scapegoating, employment discrimination and abuse. Despite the differences in quarantines across social class lines, the crisis had all of us pondering whether the places we’re inhabiting are safe spaces and what does it take to be truly safe when you’re a queer Filipino.

By (he/him)

By is a 21-year-old graduating BS computer engineering student who’s been quarantining with his family in Mandaluyong. He had no plans of coming out soon because he wanted to be able to support himself no matter the outcome. “Sabi ko pa before na pag ready na ako mag-come out, dapat graduate na ako and may work na by that time,” he says.

On April 22, his family held a dinner party at their house for his grandmother’s death anniversary. They didn’t plan on inviting anybody else because of quarantine protocols but one of his sisters had her DDS boyfriend come along. The news was on while they were having dinner and the story on Winston Ragos came up. His sister’s boyfriend and his other sister’s husband (also a DDS), started defending the police who shot and killed Ragos. By rarely shares his political sentiments because he’s afraid of being judged, an issue stemming from not being out to his family yet. That night, however, he felt he needed to speak up. He rebutted that while they were against people who are deemed “pasaway,” they also tolerated similar behavior from others. This was a jab at her sister’s boyfriend and she replied with a very personal attack. “She kept saying na ang dakdak ko, bading na bading daw ako at ang dami kong sinasabi. After namin mag-away, pumunta ako sa kwarto ko. Iyak ako ng iyak. That’s when I decided na kailangan ko na mag-out,” he recounts.

He came out through his family’s group chat. He told them that he already knew that he was gay a long time ago and that he was afraid that they wouldn’t accept him. He didn’t expect to be proved wrong and to receive his sister’s apology. By shares the message he received from his mom: “Noon pa alam ko na kung ano ka. Tanggap ko yun kahit masakit. Sabi ko nga sa papa mo, kailangan nating tanggapin kasi ganon talaga ang buhay. Tayo ang dapat unang tumanggap kasi tayo ang magulang na dapat umunawa kung ano sya.”

For By, coming out means breaking the wall he built to hide who he really is and it feels amazing to have that wall come down little by little. “Sabi nga nila para kang nabunutan ng tinik at finally, makakahinga ka na,” he says. Being slightly effeminate, he expects people he doesn’t know to already make their assumptions but that doesn’t faze him because what matters is that he loves and accepts himself.

Writer in the Dark (they/them)

In a one-room apartment in one of the lower-class neighborhoods of Pasig City, a 22-year-old student and writer is currently stuck with their parents and two younger siblings. With the uncertainty of school, the months of quarantine finally coming to a head with their family and the threats to our democracy and freedom of speech, the past weeks have been stressful for them. On top of that, they were planning on coming out as transgender and bisexual on their birthday.

The idea was this: By May, they would have their own apartment and job so they wouldn't be in danger of losing money for tuition or daily living expenses in case their parents react badly. But the quarantine ended that plan quickly and by April they realized that they couldn't come out safely, especially since they had nowhere to run to.

For them, coming out means finding the freedom to figure out their identity further in an environment that encourages that exploration rather than repressing it. They were expecting blow-back from their parents and some close-minded relatives who help pay for their tuition fees. “I'm not necessarily looking for acceptance for now, just the freedom to find out who I am,” they said.

KC (she/her)

KC turned 21 during the quarantine. Losing her full-time job in Body Glove Ocean Adventures in Hawaii back in March due to the pandemic, she moved back in with her mom and stepdad. She’s been trying to make the most out of her time in self-quarantine by working on hobbies and getting some reading done. Although she’s been out to her friends for a long time, coming out to her mom and biological dad during quarantine wasn’t necessarily by choice.

Her dad already had a hunch and called her about it. Feeling done with lying, she simply said to him, "Yeah, I'm bi." But telling mom was a different story. A highly conservative woman, her mom often preached about how homosexuality and being transgender were wrong. KC came out to her in the middle of an argument over how she was selectively supportive. “It was kind of awkward because I could tell she went through multiple phases of grief and shock,” she shares. Despite that initial reaction, her mom is trying to be as supportive as she can.

For KC, coming out is a turning-point in an LGBT person's life that signifies openly being who you are to the people around you. If you were wondering, yes, she is still living at home.

Nissie (they/them)

These past few months have been the longest for 24-year-old freelance producer and writer Nissie who's been stuck at their parent’s house. Staying with their family hasn’t been the easiest. When they came out to their siblings and friends as non-binary during the quarantine, it wasn’t anything like how it’s shown on TV or movies.

Nissie used to be comfortable with the idea that they were just bisexual. Knowing who they could be attracted to was all that mattered and they didn’t feel the need to make a big deal of coming out. It was a fact about themself that they didn’t necessarily announce, but didn’t necessarily hide either. However, the extended period of isolation has led to a lot of contemplation. They had inklings that they weren’t just feminine or masculine, but they often brushed it off. Then, it all bubbled over one night. They suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of dysphoria, a feeling that wasn’t exactly like how it was described by their trans friends and the internet. They were forced to confront a part of themself they never knew they needed to.

“I felt that I wasn’t fully feminine or masculine enough to be trans. I also felt that I wasn’t close to being both at the same time to be called genderfluid. I was something else and I didn't even know what to call it. I started having a panic attack about it because I didn’t know where on the spectrum I stood, what word to use for myself. If I didn’t know that, then how would I define who I was? After days of depression naps, googling “what is non-binary vs gender queer vs gender fluid” and extensive discussions with friends about how the fixation on labels are really for the straights, I finally settled on non-binary,” they shared.

Still, choosing their identity didn’t feel enough. Sure there was a sense of relief, but they didn’t feel complete in the same way that queer characters are shown on TV after a life-changing epiphany. As they wondered whether they were even qualified to do it, they came out “because that’s what you’re supposed to do.” To Nissie, it was just a matter of saying it. It’s a ceremony that lets you officiate acceptance. They expected the profound reassurance that they got in response to it but what they didn’t expect was how much that would affect them. “I didn’t know much I needed to hear that I was allowed to just be me. It helped me realize that acceptance should be a given and that we should just let people figure themselves out no matter how long it takes and what that looked like,” they admit.

Haru (she/her)

In Laguna, a 23-year-old freelance artist named Haru is currently living with her family. She has come out as asexual to a few people she’s close with and occasionally to others by accident (and out of anger). Given the reactions weren’t all positive, she didn’t expect it to resurface during the quarantine. Her brother brought it up while she was rummaging for snacks in the kitchen.

When she came out to him before, he didn’t believe her. He told her that there was no way she was ace because she still found other people attractive. Still, it’s progress if he’s willing to discuss it now instead of shutting her down.

Haru’s not the type to open up about her thoughts and feelings even to close friends. She would keep it in unless asked for an honest opinion. So, the idea of choosing to come out to someone is very heavy for her. It’s a sign of deep trust. It’s being real for a moment without making an attempt to laugh it off. “I leave my expectations low as best as I can to not get hurt,” she says.

Mini (she/her)

Wake up. Keep going. Hope for the best. This is the mantra of 21-year-old college student Mini who is living with her family in the province. The past few weeks have been suffocating. She has been worrying about staying safe from the virus, her academics and the social issues coming to light. On top of that, they are eight in the family at home and none of them know that she’s queer. It’s hard when there are LGBTQ characters and topics shown on TV and her parents say offensive things as she sits there and pretends it doesn’t hurt. Suppressing herself is so tiring.

If she were to come out, she imagines her siblings wouldn’t be surprised. They’re pretty open-minded so she thinks they already know and are just aren’t confronting her about it. She isn’t on good terms with her dad so she doesn’t care how he’ll react but she guesses he’ll say something deeply homophobic. But she worries about how her mom would take it because she loves her very much. “I’ve actually already made up a scenario in my head where I wouldn’t be able to talk to her for a long time but she would eventually get over it and treat me like her favorite daughter again,” she says.

For Mini, coming out isn’t really necessary but it can be helpful for the whole LGBTQ+ movement. While we’re told that we already receive equal treatment as cis-gendered heterosexuals, that’s still untrue. As long as discrimination exists, coming out is a way to let people know that being LGBTQ+ is not shameful, a sickness or a flaw. It’s a process of accepting yourself and encouraging others to do so as well.

Danna (they/them)

Managing a small business in Bataan is 22-year-old Danna who is currently living with their parents and grandfather. They’ve been trying to focus on their health and spending quality time with family while feeling resigned to keep things to themself. They feel the need to act straight in front of their quiet and conservative parents. Danna doesn’t like being in the closet and with their parents often asking about a boyfriend, they decided to just come out and say that they like girls on the first day of Pride month.

Having a gay brother, Danna expected acceptance from him. They can’t say the same about other members of their family and they’ve prepared themself for the worst. They’ve come to terms with the possibility of losing friends and being abandoned. The thought hurts but they tell me it’s okay. “For me what's important is that you don't lose yourself after coming out of the shell you've been hiding under. Coming out is just informing others of who you are,” they say.

On safety and safe spaces

Queer spaces are often, if not always, synonymous to safe spaces. The stories we’ve collected show that we have slightly different motivations for coming out. If “reasons for coming out” shows up as a question on Family Feud, will “being safer” end up as one of the top answers when a lot of us still fear how we’ll be treated after coming out? Is personal safety still a factor we need to consider when coming out?

Haru: While things may not be as bad as before, there are still others out there who are very much willing to hurt LGBTA+ people in any way they can.

Danna: Coming out doesn't necessarily mean you become safer. By safety I mean physical and emotional safety, some people will not accept you and you should be prepared for that.

Writer in the Dark: I've been lucky in that I've found accepting friends and friends within the LGBTQIA umbrella, but others may not be as lucky. If someone is planning to come out, they need to have at least three friends they can trust completely and fully in case everything goes wrong. In our world today, everything can go wrong so quickly.

KC: Absolutely consider your safety when thinking, "Should I come out to this person?" There are pros and cons to coming out; pros being an honest and unfiltered version of yourself, cons being you're subjected to judgment and discrimination. It's a matter of what's more important to the individual when deciding who to come out to and when.

Mini: Another reason it’s important to come out is how it can be a way of finding people who are like you and flushing out the people who don’t accept you. That way, you can create your own safe space. It isn’t something you owe to people.

By: Coming out is a way to be safer for me. I understand what feels safe to me doesn’t feel as safe to others. But I feel that once I come out, I don’t have to be afraid of having it slip out when I’m expressing my opinions on topics I deeply care about, things that I feel tie in with my SOGIE (Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity and Expression).

Nissie: My circumstances allowed me to have a casual opinion on coming out, but that’s not the same for everyone. Obviously, society’s the problem. Coming out isn’t necessarily a way to be safer—it’s more about personal liberation. It’s so unacceptable that something so simple is so aggressively suppressed. Why does Harry Styles or Ezra Miller get to be white boy of the month because they can pull off androgyny on the red carpet?

Fostering an encouraging environment

Not everyone expects things coming out to be a smooth ride with a light at the end of the tunnel. I came out to my parents as pansexual in high school and I admit that I kind of expected how the novelty of the concept would distract them from passing judgment on me. This year, I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten braver when it comes to mentioning the fact that I’m queer in conversations with my family. Did the urge to speak about it become stronger during quarantine? How do we foster an environment that encourages people to come out or that they don’t have to, especially within our homes?

Mini: If anything this quarantine period has solidified my resolve to only come out when I’m fully capable of taking care of myself financially. Considering we’re still under lockdown, I wouldn’t want to have to stay quarantined at home after having what I assume would be a messy conversation so coming out will have to stay on my to-do list for now.

Growing up, I often heard the words tibo and bakla used as slurs. When I realized that I liked girls, I felt uncomfortable having to use those labels. The destigmatization of the topic and terms helped me feel more comfortable with talking about my sexuality.

Writer in the Dark: Having to spend so much time together with your family probably makes staying quiet about it harder and gives folks bravery to speak up. At least one of my parents is a bigot so for me, it's not worth the effort to bring up queer issues when I'm still in the closet and they've shown little capacity for empathy.

To create that environment, always move with empathy for what your loved ones are feeling and not just how you are feeling. If you have any questions, ask a knowledgeable professional or NGOs that specialize on LGBTQIA issues.

KC: Cooped up in the house, me and my mom have spent a lot of time together that work would have originally prevented. Being around their family so much could have you feeling more comfortable with them. But it could also make it harder to be a false version of yourself. For me, it was both.

A person's timing and reaction to your coming out are pivotal in whether or not it becomes a positive experience. Supportive but appropriately gauged hype is so important. As for timing, sometimes families can suspect it and they might want to reach out and say, "You don't have to be someone else when you're not around me," when the moment feels right. Loved ones shouldn’t make it about themselves or "mourn the person you were before." My most dreaded comment to hear is, "What about my grandkids?"

Nissie: I think there are a lot of factors that can encourage LGBTQ to be more motivated to express themselves the way they want to. If you asked the organized academic in me, I’d say it involves both domestic influences and larger ones like institutions, culture, and oppressive systems. This is in no way comprehensive, of course, but I think fighting for true liberation for the LGBTQ entails dismantling systemic and systematic violence against the community, wherever that may manifest.

If you asked the older sister and the friend in me, I’d say it’s important to create an environment of judgment-free honesty. My 12-year-old sister came out to me and she had so many questions about it because no one really let her ask them. Aside from the usual inquiries, there were big picture questions about injustices, and it was honestly hard to be the person who had to explain that to her. It starts with opening up conversations and educating yourself on topics like the history and reality of queerness. Hugs also help, too.

The role of found family

There are those who find the level of acceptance they’re looking for from their found families. How can friends provide support to someone who is expecting the worst when coming out to their family?

By: The night I came out to my family, nagchat muna ako sa closest friends ko na sunduin nila ako kapag pinalayas ako. I was so fortunate to have friends na very supportive even though they don’t fully understand my struggles. Let the person know na meron at meron pa rin na tanggap, yumayakap at nagmamahal sa kanya.

Haru: If my best friend plans on coming out to her family, I'd be preparing my room for her and ask my parents if she can spend a night or so with us. I've never experienced that yet and I hope none of us have to.

Nissie: As much as I don’t wanna quote RuPaul, “families can be chosen.” If you’ve got a spare room, offer it. Help them look for jobs so they can be financially independent. Send them a photo of their bias to help them feel better. I can list so many things but I can probably sum it up to just being kind to each other.

Writer in the Dark: If you can, prepare to fight against the more abusive folks who will try everything to keep your friend home and indoctrinate them back into what they consider normal.

Queering policymaking and initiatives development

Pride month is almost over but the fight against COVID-19 doesn’t seem to be ending soon. How can institutions and groups help LGBTQ who haven’t come out or are about to come out during the pandemic?

Nissie: In any social movement, there are a lot of fronts to fight at. I think the most urgent thing that needs to be addressed is access to solutions on housing, labor and other welfare issues. My friends and I have tried to put up an NGO called Tahanang Malaya to help solve this and it has been an uphill battle to even get it to take off.

We have to provide safe spaces for queers to be themselves, even if that’s digital. Changing cultural norms involves creating information hubs on queerness and initiating dialogues to help queer folks stuck at home explore without any hitches. We also need to create a mental health solution to provide solace to queer folks who face the negative psychological effects of not being out in a home that isn’t open to the idea.

Writer in the Dark: Consider making shelters for LGBTQ+ folks and promote suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth who need to be reminded that their lives have worth beyond what their families might say.

Mini: Of course, the administration should also create policies that protect the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals to safe spaces.

Danna: A good example of a pro-LGBTQ+ policy is how Pasig recognized LGBTQ+ families in a COVID-19 assistance program. The government should support LGBTQ+ groups that are voluntarily helping those much affected.

Celebrating Pride 2020

Pride Month is about visibility and demanding equal rights as a community. How should we celebrate it this year?

Danna: Coming out to your family is one of the greatest ways to celebrate Pride. You can also be more proactive in helping other people in need during the quarantine.

By: I haven’t attended a Pride march but I’ve always wanted to. I think it can be celebrated this year through an online protest. Mahalaga yung pag-iingay online kasi a lot of us sa virtual space lang nakakahinga. As cliché as it sounds, keep spreading words of affirmation online. Support social issues such as #MassTestingNow #MassPromotionNow #BlackLivesMatter #JunkTerrorBill #SOGIEEqualityBillNow. At the end of the day, pride is a protest!

Mini: Pride is intersectional. As we fight for gender equality we should never forget to fight for our brothers and sisters that are among workers, farmers, and fisherfolk. I’m a firm believer that our fight for equal rights is rooted in class struggle. The highest person of power in our government is a misogynistic homophobe with no regard for human rights.

Writer in the Dark: Celebrate it as a rally for equal rights—with as much anger for the government's idleness and tomfoolery. Make it as loud and violent as the original Stonewall Riots. If we want to keep ourselves from going back to when we had no rights, we have to fight back and show how powerful the community is and how it won’t take this abuse lying down.

Nissie: Rallying in the streets is important to strategically celebrating it but fighting for rights demands more from social movements. Pride should expand on strengthening the other fronts of the movement. With the world as we know it practically tearing itself apart, we have to start pushing for the idea that Pride isn’t an isolated call for equality. It isn’t just about making statements on issues or celebrating queer representation.

More than a hundred days under quarantine, I’m missing the thrill of bargain hunting big time. I miss feeling my heart skip a beat when I see the word “sale” in huge, bold letters. I miss the thrill of going through racks of clothes, knowing that I can get them for less. I miss finding something that I know someone I know would definitely love. I miss the will-I-or-won’t-I moment when I’m already in line at the counter and contemplating whether I should still make one last round to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I don’t consider myself a shopaholic so I’m a bit surprised that this is starting to read like the confessions of one. I guess months of usually spending my workdays in my pambahay clothes is kinda taking a toll on my sanity.

If you’re like me, I’m guessing you’re also contemplating whether it’s time to finally treat yourself to purchasing an entire outfit online. If you are, let me tell you what I’ve realized one sleepless night while staring at my Instagram feed: we all deserve to spend on ourselves a little after working hard and doing our best to keep each other safe. After dealing with bills and setting your budget, it’s time to check out some of the shopping deals you can get in on.

For ZALORA’s Big Fashion Sale, the online store recently partnered up with Z Rewards, a Globe subsidiary website with offers redeemable in online and physical shops. By using an exclusive voucher code for Z Rewards, shoppers can get up to 25% discounts on different products and brands from Jun. 22- July 2.

After picking a new Zoom coord, a fire workout fit or a get-up for that online drinking sesh with the gang, ZEALBFS upon checkout. The maximum discount for every voucher P1,000 and this can be redeemed five times per account. (Bug a family member to lend you their account if you think that won’t cut it.) Yes, you can use the voucher code on ZALORA’s sale section too to really knock down those prices. Is free shipping included? Well, no. But if your purchase goes over P1295, you can avail it. If your haul wasn’t as big as you hoped it would be, you can search for more deals on the Z Rewards website when it goes live in July.

As a thrifty person, my shopping tactic is to browse through the discounted selections. Whether or not you’re planning on getting a new head-to-toe look, this might be something you’d want to check out.

Photo courtesy of Rianne Gerrits of Unsplash

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For LGBTQ+ people, the Philippines’ sex education program is inadequate. Most modules are hetero-centered discussions that completely ignore LGBTQ+ identities. Although the Department of Education passed a policy last 2018 on a comprehensive sexual education program that seemed to cover all the bases, implementation in schools was still rocky. The belief that talking about sex will encourage more promiscuous behavior makes the topic still taboo for people.

But times are changing and people are becoming more sex-positive and more well-versed in how exactly multi-dimensional sex is. As more and more countries and cultures open their doors to LGBTQ+ people, we also have to face the fact that the community needs proper sex education too, especially for the young kids who are just coming to terms with their sexuality.

Although there’s a lot of online references, queer sex is extremely fetishized by people who don’t know any better so there’s a risk that search results will lean towards the porn type, which isn’t always helpful. So, to guide and inform the people who are just starting out or for those “veterans” who may need a refresher here’s a basic, gender-inclusive guide for safe LGBTQ+ sex.

Consent, the act of mutually agreeing to participate in any kind of sexual activity, should be the foundation of any sexual encounter. Even simple gestures like hand-holding or hugging should only be done after an enthusiastic “yes” from the receiver. Consent is a crucial step in sex but it doesn’t have to be a buzzkill. It can be as simple as asking “are you okay with this?” before taking anything further.

You also have to remember that getting consent to do this one specific thing doesn’t mean securing consent for any and all sexual activities until the end of time. Make sure to regularly check in with your partner. Aside from making them feel safe and respected, checking in at different stages will allow you to gauge if they are enjoying themselves.

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI)

While sex is a pleasurable and magical thing, it does come with risks. Worldwide, STIs are a prevalent health problem, but in the Philippines, the most common ones are syphilis, human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes simplex virus (HSV) and HIV infections. According to the HIV/AIDS and ART Registry of the Philippines, youth aged 15-24 make up 32 percent of reported HIV cases.

Like sex talk, people approach conversations about STIs with shame, but most can be easily managed or treated with prescribed medication and antibiotics. It’s when symptoms are undiagnosed and untreated that STIs present a real problem. Some ways you can prevent an STI are frequent testing, vaccinations and correct use of condoms, gloves and dams, among others.

Now, to the task at hand. There is no single right way to have sex. The broad spectrum of gender identity means that individuals can decide what sex means for them and they can even choose not to have sex at all. But these safety precautions are recommended for any person having sex with another person, no matter the sexual and gender identity.

Penetrative sex

Penetrative intercourse is the act of inserting a body part or a toy inside someone’s vagina or anus. One of the best ways to ensure safer penetrative sex is to use a condom. Use a fresh condom for any sexual activity and with new sexual partners. Condoms also have expiry dates so check that too; it’s best not to use that one in your wallet. When you’re using toys like dildos, make sure that the condom is replaced before it’s used on anyone else. You can also use lube to reduce friction, lessening the risk of a condom breaking. Lastly, dispose of a condom properly by securing the base ring during removal, especially if there are bodily fluids, so it won’t come into contact with your partner.

For people who are into anal sex, It’s not always necessary to douche as the rectum is good at keeping poop from prematurely gushing out. But if flushing out the rectum with water can help you be more comfortable with poop-related concerns, go for it! It’s best to just use water as soaps may act as an irritant to sensitive skin and can even upset the rectum’s natural balance. For first-timers into anal play, invest in a good lubricant and bring your patience with you. Compared to the vagina, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so it takes a lot of relaxing and foreplay before you can begin without that much pain.

If you have penetrative sex using your hands, make sure that it has been washed with non-scented soap and water. Short fingernails are recommended in order to prevent cuts. Be careful of using fingers that have open wounds or scratches, especially if they’re not cleaned or sanitized. If you touch yourself, use another hand to touch your partner(s) or you can also go wash up before touching someone else.

Oral sex

One of the best ways to practice safe oral sex is to make sure that there’s a barrier between the mouth and the genitalia. For penises, condoms usually do the trick. For mouth-to-vulva or mouth-to-anus sex, dental dams, a thin and flexible sheet of latex, are recommended. They are big enough to cover the entire vaginal or anal area. Dental dams naturally stick to the body because of moisture so don’t press it too tightly against the skin to lessen friction. You also have to make sure to keep it in place to lessen the risk of contact.

Dental dams aren’t widely available in pharmacies and convenience stores but you can always try buying online or at an adult store. Another alternative for dental dams is latex underwear, most of which are available online. If you’re still having a hard time getting ahold of dental dams or latex underwear, cutting a condom into a sheet works too. As with penetrative sex, make sure to dispose of your dental dam, latex underwear and condom-turned-dam properly, making sure that no fluid gets into contact with the body.

Safe sex with toys

Toys are great for shaking things up and learning new things about yourself and your partner. Unlike vaginas, toys aren’t self-cleaning so one of your biggest concerns should be keeping a toy sanitized. Usually, toys come with their own set of cleaning instructions, which you simply have to follow. Aside from cleaning thoroughly (usually with antibacterial soap and warm water), one of the best rules to follow is to not share sex toys.

If you’re wondering about how to have safer sex, don’t be afraid to ask questions or to research. When you’re just starting out, there can be a lot of pressure or anxiety around it but remember this: Sex should be consensual, pleasurable and safe for everyone involved.

Art by Dana Calvo

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If you’ve been lucky enough to be at home, quarantined and hopefully safe from the coronavirus, give yourself a pat on the back. We’ve survived more than a hundred days of staying home. These 100 days have tested my patience, my sleep schedule, my coffee and junk food diet and my boredom.

Thankfully, the world of audio fiction gave my days a new flair. Audio storytelling was declining ten years ago, with the steady rise of video content and visual streaming platforms. Radio dramas also dropped out of popularity in some places, if radios were in constant use at all. But podcasts have seen newfound fame in recent years, and for me, a girl stuck in quarantine for roughly four months, looking for more forms of entertainment, it’s become a godsend.

One of the really great features of a podcast is that they are downloadable—making them so convenient and accessible. You can listen to a motivational talk while baking your nth banana bread load, you can listen to film buffs dissect classic films while taking a shower and you can even creep yourself out and resign yourself to a sleepless night with a horror podcast.

The possibilities are endless—and for those who love fictional fantasy stories, you have a multitude of podcasts you can dive into. To help you weed out what’s good and what’s bad, I’m here to give you a beginner’s list of the podcasts and audio dramas you can start out with.

“The Prickwillow Papers”

If you’ve had some family squabbles over the course of the quarantine, this podcast will be the most relatable. Sylda, the main protagonist, is half-elf and just graduated from the College of Mages. As any other fresh graduate, she expects a world of wonder to open up for her—which instantly closes as she’s forced to move back to her boring town with her boring parents.

This podcast utilizes the concept of a diary, with Sylda narrating her diary entries. It’s a realistic look at the limbo that fresh grads are often stuck in after graduation, but also introduces magical quests that are not only hilarious but also endearing. It currently has one season with episodes ranging from 12 to 15 minutes, so it’s an easy listen for when you just want to hear an elf recount her adventures with a grumpy roommate looking to get magical powers.

“Within The Wires”

This sci-fi speculative fiction podcast has four seasons of introspective stories about a medical institute giving the listener therapy, museum guides that help solve a murder mystery, a man single-handedly creating a new society and a mother-daughter tandem trying to escape a government commune.

It might be difficult to get started with this podcast because it’s a different approach to story-telling, particularly the first season, but its mystery will definitely have a hold on you. It’s also technically masterful, with the sound effects being as much of a storytelling device like the dialogue itself. If you like the storytelling style of “Welcome To Night Vale,” you’re in for a treat with this podcast because it’s made by the same team.

“Supernatural Sexuality with Dr. Seabrooke”

RuPaul’s drag race alum Katya always says that she wants to have sexual intercourse with a ghost but how exactly do you do that? Sexologist, folklorist and relationship therapist Dr. Seabrooke will tell you how. Set in an alternate reality where monsters and humans date, this advice radio show deals with solving the relationship and sexual problems between human and monster partnerships.

Although fictional, the advice does hold up in our world. It’s mythical, comedic and poignant especially because the “monsters” who are calling in seem so human, with human problems, desires and lives. Then again, they are also fearsome beasts who are just having a hard time navigating intimacy, long-distance relationships and differing diets—aren’t they just like us?

“Alba Salix, Royal Physician”

This podcast features an overworked career witch serving a kingdom that really depends on her magic. As with any fantasy story, royal physician Alba is helped by her annoying apprentice Magnus and an absent-minded fairy named Holly.

The way “Alba Salix” is told is similar to a sitcom. Each episode has a specific story that gets resolved once the episode ends. Although it doesn’t have a high-stakes overarching dilemma like the podcasts featured above, it’s an extremely entertaining and funny episodic series that can make a listener laugh and relax. The sound design also adds to the world-building and fantasy, so it’s a well-rounded experience.

“Meloredrama”

Local podcast “Meloredrama” is both an introduction to Philippine mythology and an exploration of the stories that can be created with it. Creators Denice and Juabe give a 101 on creatures like the bungisngis, santilmo, sarimanok and the mangkukulam which is great for those who want to learn more about their histories and origins.

What sets this show apart is that aside from the introductions, they also do a series of stories inspired by the mythology. So it’s both entertaining and educational. It’s a funny and insightful look at how often Filipinos can overlook their own myths and stories but how rewarding it is to unearth it because hey, the pugot ulo and the bangungot is just as scary as any foreign exorcism story.

Photo by Patrik Michalicka on Unsplash

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Content warning: The following story details accounts of grooming, sexual harassment and fat-shaming

#HijaAko is ushering an unprecedented moment in the country, where women are being emboldened to call out abusers and the institutions protecting them, similar to how #MeToo in 2017 led women in Hollywood to expose powerful men for their sexual harassment. Recently, students and alumni of Miriam College High School in Quezon City spoke up about their own experiences on Twitter, with many of them using the hashtags #MCDoBetter and #MCHSDoBetter.

tw // pedophilia

one of my friends had a “romantic” relationship with one of our female teachers back in grade 8. don’t even come at me now saying that it was consensual naman, my friend was fucking 12.

— marian lim (@_marianlim) June 24, 2020

Many pointed out the school’s alleged double standards, accusing them of being lenient with accused teachers but extremely strict on the student body. According to students, these were the things that could get you expelled: short, gender nonconforming hairstyles, and even appearing in sex videos that were nonconsensually leaked.

how about how mc keeps expelling students with sex videos that were shared without their consent while the boys over ATENEO GET TO GRADUATE WITH HONORS? how is this FAIR #MCHSDOBETTER

— natsu ? (@anyareigns) June 24, 2020

For many, the hashtags are eye-opening because they illustrate how widespread sexual harassment and grooming are in schools. Andrea, a 23-year-old alumni of MCHS shared with Preen.ph: “When I experienced it in first-year high school, I felt isolated and I didn’t really know of other cases. I didn’t know a lot were experiencing it,” she said. “It was a surprise to me that a lot had experienced it and a lot were speaking out. Back then I couldn’t even tell my classmates or my friends what I had been going through. That was a decade ago.”

Andrea recounts her own experience with her former grade school teacher, who she alleges preyed on her when she was 12 years old and a high school freshman. It started with him texting her. “I know I even asked at first if it was ok [for him to text me] because I wasn’t used to a teacher regarding me very casually and he said, “Graduate ka naman na ng grade school.”

“He kept texting me. At first, it wasn’t anything discomforting, just him asking about my day, getting to know me more, asking about my preferences. I wasn’t used to stuff like that and I think he knew. It was easy for him to establish a connection with me because I didn’t have many friends and I was really a low-key student. I know he began being very sweet, making me feel special.

“I was 12. I didn’t know better talaga.”

According to Andrea, he would continue texting her over several months, and even gave her two books, “Lolita” and “South of the Border, West of the Sun,” both of which portrayed romances between the adult protagonist and the underage love interests. “He would send me texts like I want to kiss you, I want to taste your lip balm, stuff like that, because he knew I was into flavored lip balms. When he touched me physically and I felt I didn’t like it, he tried to explain na if it feels good for him daw it must be right. He would always try to explain and say, ‘You don’t know anything kasi about relationships.’

“I tried to talk to my guidance counselor about it. That was my moment of courage, 13 na ako nun. But they didn’t believe me, and they even said I was the one who was ruining his life and reputation. So a 12-13 year old is a conniving slut but an almost middle-aged man who is in a position of power and has nothing to lose by exploiting me is innocent?”

Sexual harassment and predatory behavior weren’t the only allegations that emerged. A mother shared with us her daughter’s experience of fat-shaming in school. She alleged that her daughter’s teacher told the class that being fat meant you won’t be successful, and when they reported this to the dean, they were only met with this response: “So ano po mangyayari? Every time may magsabi mataba anak niyo, manunugod kayo?”

Many pointed out that this reckoning was long overdue. “It’s appalling that people like me have to wait for these kinds of opportunities to even be heard. 10 years,” Andrea said. “For years, I couldn’t even tell my story because their words ring in my ear: ‘you’re a liar.’”

“I want to talk about it [now] because I’m scared for the girls who are being groomed and don’t know it, or who will be targets in the future. For my whole high school life, I felt I was the bad girl. I was the one who tempted him, teased him. That’s why I was disgusted with my being a woman. But that’s exactly how they want to make you feel. I can’t imagine someone else going through what I went through. No one deserves that.”

#MCDoBetter has also emboldened students from different high schools to speak up.

I was 14, a grade 7 student. I had a crush on a male teacher and he found out through my classmates (dahil inaasar nila ako sa kanya) then bigla na lang kaming naging “close” dahil siya rin ang coach namin sa speech choir.

— A (@alyssaagaile) June 24, 2020

MCHS has since released a statement on these allegations. “We heard and we listened to the pain- anger- frustration-driven Twitter messages on the purported inappropriate behavior of a few male teachers in our High School through the years,” an open letter by the school president entitled “MC’s Commitment to Truth and Restorative Justice” on the school’s website reads. “Please be assured that we have promptly initiated investigation of these reports and will take appropriate steps to resolve the situation.”

The letter also said that the school does “not want our students to fear retribution nor faculty members to fear lack of due process when cases such as the ones tweeted about are raised,” and that they are forming a committee “called the Justice, Truth, and Reconciliation Institutional Committee that will initiate a serious review of the cases in the past and the resolution of these cases. This institutional Committee, independent of any existing committees will also look into and act on the current cases, if any, and to recommend appropriate steps.”

“I wish to assure everybody that Miriam College will do better as it moves forward,” the letter read.

Preen.ph reached out to Miriam College for a response but has not yet received a reply.

Header photo courtesy of Feliphe Schiarolli on Unsplash

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It’s a good day to be a K-pop stan: We’re expecting two of its biggest stars to dominate the music charts a few hours from now. At 6:00 p.m. KST, BLACKPINK is dropping the long-awaited music video for their single, “How You Like That.” The comeback has been pushed back several times but we’re finally getting more of those jaw-dropping looks from their teaser photos. Also scheduled at 6:00 p.m. KST is the release of BTS’ music video for their Japanese single “Stay Gold.” Yes, you read that right. They’ll be available for streaming at the exact same time. It’s a sweet, sweet dilemma to have to choose which one you’ll need to watch first.

#BLACKPINK ‘How You Like That’ D-DAY POSTER

Pre-Release Single
✅2020.06.26 6PM#블랙핑크 #HowYouLikeThat #PreReleaseSingle #D_DAY #20200626_6pm #Release #YG pic.twitter.com/OzMq7lI8hD

— YG FAMILY (@ygent_official) June 26, 2020

YG Entertainment tweeted a “How You Like That” D-Day poster today where the girls are wearing looks that mix denim with prints and Lisa even sports a faux fur jacket. The group also held a global press conference on YouTube today, although the video was made private. The agency also announced that fans can start pre-ordering a special edition of the single and submitting their entries for an online fan signing event that will be conducted through video call.

Big Hit Entertainment, on the other hand, hasn’t been releasing Easter eggs or announcements on their official social media accounts. However, Japanese media did report that the official music video for “Stay Gold” will be released on Bighit Labels’ and Universal Music Japan’s YouTube channels. BTS did a live performance of the single on Jun. 22 as part of a four-hour special broadcast on “CDTV Live! Live!” It’s the first single from their Japanese album “Map of the Soul: 7 ~ The Journey ~” scheduled to come out on July 14.

Are you ready? Because I’m still not sure I am.

Photo screengrabbed from Blackpink’s “How You Like That” concept teaser video

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Pride is a protest and this morning, members of the LGBTQ+ community and its allies conducted a rally in Mendiola to celebrate Pride Month and to bring attention to calls ranging from #JunkTerrorBill to #NoToJeepneyPhaseout. Manila Police District (MPD) chief Brig. Gen. Rolly Miranda confirmed that a number of protesters were apprehended on Morayta Street. AlterMidya reports that 20 protesters were transported to the police station on UN Avenue, 10 from LGBTQ+ alliance Bahaghari, eight from Gabriela and two drivers.

UPDATE: The police nabbed at least 20 protesters, 10 from @Bahaghari_Natl, 8 from @gabrielaphils & 2 drivers. They are now being transported to the police station in UN Avenue. #FreePride20

— AlterMidya (@altermidya) June 26, 2020

An AlterMidya staff member said in a tweet that the MPD is claiming that a protester “sprayed something on an officer’s face” which prompted an arrest. However, the staff member adds that no such incident happened as evidenced by their live coverage of the event. In a video tweeted by GMA News, several officers in fatigue uniform are seen forcefully dragging a man out of a van to make their arrest.

Bago ang tensyon, nakapag-rally pa ang mga miyembro ng LGBTQ+ sa Mendiola. Aabot sa 30 tao ang naaresto ng mga pulis dahil sa paglabag umano sa mass gathering ngayong may GCQ sa Metro Manila. | via @Isa_Umali, @dzbb pic.twitter.com/y9MdyNggcI

— GMA News (@gmanews) June 26, 2020

Gabriela Women’s Party released a statement condemning the violent dispersal and mass arrest which reads, “We are enraged over this brazen showcase of police terror ironically against activists protesting fascism and tyranny, and against the looming enactment of the Anti-Terrorism Bill. We insist that there is now law prohibiting public assemblies during the implementation of the community quarantine. The constitutional right to peaceful assembly is not suspended even amid a health emergency.”

The group revealed that police “confiscated the keys and hijacked” protestors’ vehicles and “even manhandled Chriztina Madlangbayan, who is a legislative staff of Gabriela Rep. Arlene Brosas.” They further called for the immediate release of the detained protesters and launched the hashtag #FreePride20

https://www.facebook.com/GabrielaWomensParty/posts/1367246953485298

Bahaghari national spokesperson Rey Valmores-Salinas said on a live broadcast on the group’s Twitter account that the police have yet to inform them what violation against General Community Quarantine (GCQ) protocols they allegedly committed.

https://t.co/AZTjNjWZQj

— Bahaghari #AchibDisBill (@Bahaghari_PH) June 26, 2020

Photo courtesy of Altermidya – People’s Alternative Media Network

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Waking up to the news of Jenna Marbles, one of YouTube’s original and biggest stars, quitting her channel after receiving backlash over her past videos was a shock. In a video published today titled “A Message,” the vlogger said, “There’s a couple of things that people want me to address and apologize for and I’m happy to do that. Because what I want for people that I support and that I like is to have accountability and to know that I’m supporting someone whose morals and values align with my own.” By the end of the video, she tearfully said that she has taken down hurtful old content and that she’s moving on from her channel, “for now or forever,” because she doesn’t want to put anything out that can hurt people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz3mQhuMACs

With more than three billion views and more than 20 million subscribers on her YouTube channel, Jenna Marbles’ decision has many saying that it’s an end of an era on the internet. While many fans and friends are sad about the loss, they are also commending Jenna’s sincere response and how it was a show of real growth. Fellow vlogger, Hank Green said in a tweet that he’s “grateful for her example” and that she stayed “true to her comedy and her community while taking out the parts of what she did that caused harm.”

I think it's vitally important that we tell creators when they are doing harm. And I have watched some creators react to that by listening and changing, while others have cried a bit in an apology video and then gone right back to making shitty stuff that hurts people.

— Hank Green (@hankgreen) June 25, 2020

Thank you @Jenna_Marbles for everything you’ve done for YouTube as a platform, especially female youtubers, but truly everyone you’ve inspired to turn on a camera. I’m glad you’re strong enough to step away from something painful, but if one day you feel that itch, we’ll be here.

— Anna Brisbin✨ (@BrizzyVoices) June 26, 2020

In the video, Jenna speaks about past content where she did blackface while impersonating Nicki Minaj, slut-shamed women and rapped about racist Asian stereotypes. She owns up to her mistakes and says, “It doesn’t need to exist. I shouldn’t have ever said that. I’m embarrassed that I ever made that, period.”

Starting her YouTube career in 2010, Jenna Marbles has made a lot of people laugh and inspired so many as one of the site’s top women creators. She’s even the first YouTuber immortalized by Madame Tussauds New York. Considering her impact, we hope that her exit will encourage more vloggers to genuinely take responsibility for their content and become more open to criticism.

Photo by David Fitzgerald/Web Summit via Sportsfile

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Reproductive health remains to be an alarming issue in the Philippines even amid the coronavirus pandemic. When the lockdown started, there were reports of hospitals refusing to admit pregnant women in labor due to congested facilities. Health officials and several human rights organizations called for the government to provide better sexual and reproductive health services, especially during this health crisis. Unfortunately, the number of unplanned pregnancies due to the lockdown is only expected to increase within the year.

Back in March, the Commission on Population and Development (POPCOM) warned that the number of unplanned pregnancies is historically known to increase during natu1al calamities “when couples and individuals cohabitate for longer periods.”

After the government toned down the quarantine restrictions, POPCOM announced on June 25 that there would be 214,000 unplanned pregnancies out of two million women who are expected to give birth this year.

Aside from the stay-at-home policies, POPCOM chief and Undersecretary Juan Antonio Perez III said that the work and travel restrictions prior to the easing of quarantine measures added to the lack of access to family planning supplies.

“Looking at these numbers, we foresee that because of the restrictions of movement as well as the reduction of access of women and men to family planning supplies, there will be at least one pregnancy for every three women with an unmet need for family planning.” Perez said in an Inquirer report.

At this rate, POPCOM expects an increase in the nationwide count of women without access to family planning—a 19 percent jump from 3.099 million to 3.688 million. Another growing concern is that the number of teenagers without the provision of their family planning needs could also increase from 163,000 to 178,000.

Acknowledging the toll of the coronavirus pandemic and the overwhelmed capacity of healthcare facilities, Perez urged that “family planning should still be top-of-mind for everyone.”

“Not only for those directly involved in service-delivery, but also for all men and women—mothers and fathers, and even our teenage children—who can make a difference by doing their very best to avoid being added as a statistic to the abovementioned numbers; that is, to ensure that they help reduce the incidences of unplanned pregnancies.” he said.

Photo courtesy of Unsplash

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Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach issued a statement on her Instagram welcoming Pride Month by writing “learning is always a two-way process…we listen as we understand each other’s points of view.”

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Learning is always a two-way process.. we listen as we understand each other’s points of view. This #PrideMonth, we stand for the rights and advocacies of the LGBTQIA+ community. ?️‍? Being an ally is someone who gives a sense of a safe and affirming space for our loving community… Let’s provide higher platforms for community members to openly discuss issues and concerns that affect us. ? Here we can discuss our differences and remind ourselves that we are together on this journey, and achieve our shared goals for equality. ❤ . I know we may differ in opinions today.. but our constant discourse will make our tomorrow better because we understand one another better. This will also enable our broader community, especially those with differing views, to ponder on things that matter to our fellowmen. . Let me just make a stand that our friends and family in the LGBTQIA+ community have the right to take up space in our society…that their voices should be heard, that we don’t invalidate trans women as women. We can learn to accept these concepts by having a dialogue. By listening and understanding our differences.. we will grow and uplift one another as one community in strengthening equality and diversity. ??❤ Happy Pride! ??️‍?

A post shared by Pia Wurtzbach (@piawurtzbach) on Jun 24, 2020 at 5:55pm PDT

Wurtzbach posted the statement recognizing the importance of a constant discourse to understand the concerns of the LGBTQ+ community. In the statement, Wurtzbach mentioned that “we may differ in opinions today, but our constant discourse will make our tomorrow better because we understand one another better.” She continued by saying “…our friends and family in the LGBTQIA+ community have the right to take up space in our society…that their voices should be heard, that we don’t invalidate trans women as women.”

This statement came two days after she spoke on a pageant themed online show about trans women joining beauty pageants like Miss Universe with four other beauty queens. The episode included Miss International Queen 2012 Kevin Balot’s statement saying that trans women are “asking too much” when they join traditional beauty pageants (i.e. pageants that only let cis women compete). While this received backlash from people online, Wurtzbach responded in the video by saying that “actually isa yang angle na hindi ko naisip kasi ako sa pagkakaalam ko Miss Universe allows so sakin if they allow sino ba naman tayo para magreklamo pa eh yung may-ari na pumapayag na.”

The beauty queen is known to be an LGBTQ+ ally and expressed her support for the legalization of same-sex marriage in the Philippines at a celebratory dinner during last year’s Pride Month.

Photo courtesy of Inquirer.net

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When I think about the word safe space, it’s people that come to mind, not places. My safe space is with my friends and I like to think that I can find it with my family, too, soon. I’m lucky it never crossed my mind that coming out to my family would be met with hostility.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone. Athlete Jason Collins once said, “Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it’s a good place to start.” I hope that by trying my best to take part in conversations within and about the LGBTQ+ community, it can encourage others to do so as well. Each year, especially during Pride Month, I try to listen more closely to the folks who still badly need physical and digital safe spaces and whose experiences are very different from mine.

When Bea and Casey started online safe haven Queerspace PH, their initial plan was to “lessen aggressive content to engulf the community with positive and empowering messages that are not overwhelming.” But with the “flaws of a silently destructive system more visible than ever,” the team was reminded that it’s good to show that you’re angry too. I had a chat with Bea and Casey on how safe spaces aren’t silent.

How have you been personally celebrating Pride so far? Any activities our readers might want to try?

So what we’ve been doing to celebrate Pride is just pouring our work into our content. We’ve been attending webinars from small LGBTQ+ organizations and learning more about the community and reflecting what Pride means to us especially now in the midst of the pandemic. We recommend everyone to do the same and attend fun ones too, like vogueing classes from the House of Mizrahi PH and online drag shows!

While doing some research for our Pride stories, we came across a Reddit post where you were gathering stories from the LGBTQ community who didn’t feel safe while quarantining with their families. What is Queerspace and what roles both of you play on its team?

Queerspace is an online safe space for LGBTQ+ Filipinos. We want to provide a place where people can express their identities, engage in conversations and be empowered together.

We’re a team of 2 and we do pretty much everything! Everything you see in Queerspace is curated and created by us!

What’s the story behind why Queerspace PH was formed and how it started?

We wanted to build an online presence for the queer community in the Philippines that is focused on empowering content that will make them feel like they’re valid and not alone. There are also many LGBTQ+ organizations that are focused on lobbying for LGBTQ policies, who are already doing excellent in this sector. Thus, we wanted to focus more on the presence of the LGBTQ+ community online.

Initially, we wanted to do a physical space. We decided to not wait anymore and launch it as a digital space because we think it’s important to have one now during the pandemic. Many queer Filipinos are vulnerable now because some of them are not in places where it is safe to be themselves. At the same time, inequality has been heightened and more evident now, especially in workplaces and medical institutions.

Safe space is a universal and, at the same time, a very personal concept. What does the term mean for you and how does one go about creating one for themself and for others?

We acknowledge that safe spaces can have different meanings for different people. For us, a safe space is where someone can be free to be themselves and belong in a community. Many people have criticisms over the word, like how they think it stifles freedom of speech, shelters people or keeps them in a bubble.

We actually think it’s quite the opposite. We think safe spaces are created because the public excludes us from the conversation. Our version of a safe space is not only talking about happy things, it is where a community empathizes and empowers one another. It is not about limiting speech, but being compassionate and inclusive in conversations.

We think it’s quite similar how people should create safe spaces for themselves and others—it’s always about being compassionate and having a deep understanding of your struggles or other people’s.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Queerspace Philippines (@queerspaceph)

On your Instagram page, there was a post about how the word queer is also a verb that means to disrupt something. What does this mean? How is it connected to attaining inner peace?

We actually just learned about this! Queering is a verb used for challenging heteronormativity in places, literature and just about everything. It makes people think outside of gender norms and see that things can be seen differently when you include other identities in the picture. Like for example, growing up, we were taught that there are “boy clothes” and “girl clothes”. To queer this thought is to ask, “what does my sex have to do with the colors pink and blue?” or “why can’t men wear skirts?”

While we’re a safe space and we want to provide a peaceful environment for the community, we just can’t simply put out content for the sake of being positive. Safe spaces are political. There will be no peace if we keep getting excluded outside of our safe space. These conversations are also important to empower and validate identities and let people know nothing’s wrong with them, the world just has a lot of queering to do!

An organization called MapBeks identifies safe physical spaces! You can check out their LGBT Safe Spaces Map. They map out LGBT-friendly businesses such as cafes, bars, support groups, health services, and more. They even show which city or province has an Anti-Discrimination ordinance.

Like what we said earlier, a number of LGBTQ+ organizations are currently using digital spaces to hold webinars, kamustahans, and other similar events for the members of our community, including allies! These organizations include Metro Manila Pride, UP Babaylan, Open Table Metropolitan Community Church, The Society of Transsexual Women of the Philippines (STRAP), Philippine Anti-Discrimination Alliance of Youth Leaders (PANTAY), and Mindanao Pride!

How close or how far are we in making our country a safe space?

The Philippines may be safer than other countries as we do not have laws that prohibit being part of the LGBTQIA+. However, the Philippines still has a long way to go. Everyone in the community will agree. There are members who experience discrimination because of how they present their SOGIE (Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity and Expression). There are people who believe that we cannot have the same rights as heterosexuals because of heteronormative thinking.

The current pandemic has also exposed the vulnerability of our members. We recently talked to members of the AIDS Society of the Philippines and STRAP who are working together to fundraise for displaced trans women in the country. Our trans sisters lost their livelihood due to the suspension of work and restrictions in social mobility during the quarantine.

As long as these are not addressed and our society is not genderblind, we cannot confidently say that our country is a safe space.

We’d also like to clarify that safe spaces aren’t just for the LGBTQ+ community. Safe spaces are intersectional. Minority groups such as our indigenous people, urban and rural poor, the working class, farmers and fisherfolk, and other underrepresented populations must be included in determining whether our country provides safe spaces for them.

What can we look forward to from Queerspace PH?

We have lots of queer content coming your way! While we are still restricted to go around and meet people, we will continue to be here for our online LGBTQ+ community. We just started last month so we think it’s a great time to explore, collaborate with other organizations, and feature more queer Filipinos digitally. We’re still getting to know our audience and trying to reach more. For now, we’re just doing our best to help the community cope with our current situation and finding different ways to engage with them.

Art by Dana Calvo

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Gone are the days of waiting a whole week to see what happens next after your favorite TV drama’s cliff-hanging episode. Fans are in for a treat because the first 15 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy is coming to Netflix on Aug. 25. While you could already find Grey’s on the site, only a few seasons are available for streaming at the moment.

The US medical drama just wrapped up its 16th season after airing episode 21 on April 9 as the season finale that left fans asking questions (don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil anything). While it was reported that the drama was supposed to have four more episodes and a 17th season released this year, the show’s network ABC Entertainment had to shut down production earlier in March due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Grey’s Anatomy is about the personal and professional lives of the medical staff at the fictional Seattle Grace Hospital. The show’s title is a pun on the name of its central protagonist Meredith Grey (played by Ellen Pompeo) and the medical textbook “Gray’s Anatomy.” With the field of medicine as one of its core elements, the plot mainly revolves around the struggles of the doctors’ career paths and the relationships between the characters.

While it’s uncertain whether the drama will be back in production soon, fans can soon relive their favorite episodes and catch up with the doctors of Seattle Grace starting with the first episode that dropped in 2005. Get ready to sit through all that McDreamy drama again.

Photo courtesy of ABC’s official Youtube channel

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Heads up, K-drama fans: Park Bo Gum, star of ‘Reply 1988’, will be enlisting in the Korean navy on Aug. 31. This is part of his mandatory military service, which all South Korean male citizens are required to do from ages 18 to 28.

His agency, Blossom Entertainment, broke the news with this statement:

“This is an announcement regarding actor Park Bo Gum’s military enlistment. Actor Park Bo Gum was accepted as a cultural promotion soldier of the navy, and he will be enlisting on August 31, 2020.

He will complete filming for the film “Wonderland” and drama “Record of Youth” prior to his enlistment. We ask for your support so actor Park Bo Gum can fulfill his military duty in good health.” [translation from Soompi]

Looks like “Record of Youth” will be his last role for a while (the minimum length of the military service is at least 21 months). Also starring “Parasite” actress Park So-dam (Jessica, only child, Illinois, Chicago), the show will be on Netflix later on in the year.

Photo courtesy of Netflix

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Where do the queer Catholics go?

“Many young LGBTs are currently trapped in homes that have fundamentalist conservative families.”

The future of queer safe spaces

How do we go from the melancholic we’ve lost so much to the practical what can be done?

GenSan’s Men’s Month is all kinds of bad

This sapphic anthology will make you tingle

Ebeng Mayor’s rape and murder is a wake-up call to defend trans rights

Demi Lovato just came out as nonbinary

Beach resort discriminates against trans women because they don’t want to discriminate against trans women

We heard many people started to bike now that transportation is limited in the city. We commend you guys for creating such a thoughtful project that helps several people get to work. Could you let our readers know what Project Padyak is all about?

We saw that your inspiration for this project came from the article about a bike shop owner giving Tatay Carlos Samonte a free bicycle. How did this story start your project?

How did you assemble the Project Padyak team and how big is it now?

Could you give us an estimate of how many bikes and helmets you donated so far and what areas have you already covered?

What can you say about the limited infrastructure and policies that make the roads safe for cycling? What were the struggles in promoting biking as an alternative means of transport?

Before we end, we’d like to thank you for taking this time to share your story and answer our questions. How can we help Project Padyak?

By (he/him)

Writer in the Dark (they/them)

KC (she/her)

Nissie (they/them)

Haru (she/her)

Mini (she/her)

Danna (they/them)

On safety and safe spaces

Fostering an encouraging environment

The role of found family

Queering policymaking and initiatives development

Celebrating Pride 2020

Consent

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI)

Penetrative sex

Oral sex

Safe sex with toys

“The Prickwillow Papers”

“Within The Wires”

“Supernatural Sexuality with Dr. Seabrooke”

“Alba Salix, Royal Physician”

“Meloredrama”

How have you been personally celebrating Pride so far? Any activities our readers might want to try?

While doing some research for our Pride stories, we came across a Reddit post where you were gathering stories from the LGBTQ community who didn’t feel safe while quarantining with their families. What is Queerspace and what roles both of you play on its team?

What’s the story behind why Queerspace PH was formed and how it started?

Safe space is a universal and, at the same time, a very personal concept. What does the term mean for you and how does one go about creating one for themself and for others?

On your Instagram page, there was a post about how the word queer is also a verb that means to disrupt something. What does this mean? How is it connected to attaining inner peace?

What are some digital and physical queer spaces that you would recommend to members of the LGBTQ+ in the Philippines?

How close or how far are we in making our country a safe space?

What can we look forward to from Queerspace PH?